Aly Jetha BigBadBoo Animation studio/ owner / Canada ----------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
Thank you for your email. First, I applaud you on your program.
Our genre of production is animation for children and we do not normally produce or sell into the live action market. As such, I cannot really opine on the marketability of your program to non-Iraian audiences.
There are, however, many Iranian channels in North America and Europe that may be interested in your show.
Shaw Television in Canada has a Persian channel that may be interesting for you to pursue and Tapesh TV in LA is a Persian TV station that may be of interest. There are many others, but these may be a good start.
Floyd Norman WaltDisney Animation Studio ------------------------------------------ Thank you for sharing, Behzad. The clips are well produced and wonderfully performed. The ideas work because the stories and humor are universal. However, so much of the media produced in the west today tends to be loud, brash and hyperactive. Western audiences might perceive the per formance as dated. Again, I think they're very well produced and very entertaining. I'm concern about the cultural differences. Anyway, that's my take on what you've presented. In any case, Good luck.
Shabnam Rezaei BigBadBoo Animation /Producer Canada ------------------------------------------------ hi Behzad Jan - I watched all your episodes. Very nice and funny. I am not sure that a Western audience would understand the cultural nuances of Iranian dailies - given our particular culture - but you never know so I encourage you to continue your great work and see where it takes you. All the best to you and good luck
Brenda Chapman......Creator & Director of "The Brave" Disney ------------------------------------------------------------ Bezad, Your videos were very entertaining! I especially enjoyed the 'Banana' clip. The story seemed so relatable, and your animated gestures and voices really brought it to life! Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing.
It was my pleasure! I am not sure that I can speak on such a broad matter, like as to whether or not the Western culture will like and understand the episodes. Personally, I thought they were great though!
Bob Alper.........Rabbi/Stand-Up Comic ------------------------------------------------ Hi Behzad,
I watched a couple of the clips.
The actor is terrific, very inventive, and clever. For example, the way he held his own shirt, imitating his daughter pulling him. That's unique.
I don't think it would make it in the US. Most comedies, and comedians, try for the maximum number of laughs per minute, while your comedy builds and builds without intermittent laughter. Kind of what we call a "shaggy dog story." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story). If you access my demo on the opening page of www.bobalper.com you'll see that I try for a laugh at least every 10 or 12 seconds.
Kind of figured the actor might have been you...!
I think your command of English and your delivery are fine, even impressive. There are plenty of comedians in the US with thicker accents.
Just to experiment, perhaps you could memorize, or just read, some monologues by great comedians like Bob Newhart, and get the feel of multiple laughs per minute. Also, listen to Lewis Black or Jerry Seinfeld or even me (demo is at www.bobalper.com) with a stopwatch, and see how much time goes by between each laugh. Sometimes it's a matter of a few seconds.
I hope this is helpful! Sorry to be so negative...Best of luck, Bob
Pat Condell........Stand up comedian ---------------------------------------- I think it would be received very well, Behzad. You're a good performer and you bring the anecdotes to life very well. I think a show like this might do well at the Edinburgh Fringe or Off Broadway. I've added Sonography to my favorites on YouTube. I hope it helps to get you some exposure.
No. Your English is very good and you speak very clearly.
I intentionally left some words in Persian, do they cause any problems understanding the whole story ? No. I was able to follow perfectly well.
Do Western people have problem that these stories are not making them laugh in every 10 seconds ?( like a standard Stand up ) This isn't stand-up. It wouldn't work in a comedy club. It belongs in a small intimate theatre where the audience doesn't expect a succession of punchlines.
I have been told these stories are "Shaggy dog stories" is this a criticize or a kind of style ? A shaggy dog story is a long boring story that goes on and on without coming to a climax. Your stories are concise are entertaining. I would describe them as humorous anecdotes.
I wish you the best of luck with them, and I hope the show is a success.
Scott Capurro.........Stand up comedian /U.K ----------------------------------------------- Hey Behzad, Thanks so much for sending your work. It's really charming and funny, and your images are clear and precise.I think it would work fine with a western crowd.
Your style and accent seem fine. But then I live in London.are you thinking of going to the US? Where were you thinking of performing?
I think the stories would work, but you might find a Western director who can guide your structure a bit, if that's your concern. there are lots of Fringe festivals here in the UK and Canada, where you can reveal your work to a supportive audience. Edinburgh Fringe is good. It's expensive, but you'll be seen by lots of industry people as well. Soho Theatre in London is a great venue. You might give them a call.
Justin Wakefield........Concept Artist at Disney ------------------------------------------------ Hey Behzad... actually it was great... I liked it... ... reminds me a little of Mr. Bean...
stylistically it's a bit different from what we're used to seeing our here... but that's only based on my own experience... but it's funny.... I think you'll get a broader audience than you think...
I like the way it plays like you're having a conversation with me (your audience)... and the comfortable way it feels so casual... it doesn't feel forced.. I mean it doesn't play like you're TRYING to be funny... you just so happen to be telling funny stories in a funny way...but one thing... and this is just an opinion...
Please forgive me if my criticism sounds rude...I am uncertain of your character's perspective or orientation... Not that it should matter... but there are certain mannerisms that are somewhat effeminate... but they're not strong enough to make a statement... I think your character should be MORE of whatever you decide to make him to be... like a caricature.... as opposed to a portrait...not necessarily sissy like... just kind of ambiguous...for your character to be strong just chose what you want to say about him... perhaps even MORE sissy like if that's the term...a bitter gossipy older gay man... is way more funny than an average guy talking about average things...but push something... and PUSH it further...especially if you make him contradict himself...like if he's bitter old gay gossip... then he's also bigoted anti gay conservative... who hates gossips... ( or something like that... ) a bad chef who thinks he's god's gift to the cullinary world... stuff like that...and the conflict that dynamic creates... how far can that be pushed...? think soup nazzi from Seinfeld.... (american show..)
From my perspective your accent is more of something that's part of your character... kinda like many of our actors who come from china (jackie chan) or austraillia (mel gibson) or wherever... their accents are part of their character...
There are as many types of comedy and delivery as there are people who like comedy... your style has an audience...
I think you're good... you're a good writer.. and you're on your way...keep it moving... you guys are gonna do something cool!!!
William Bradford............Animator / Canada ---------------------------------------------- Hey Behz. Hmmmmm it's hard to tell what to suggest. I think i get what you're going for: just telling amusing anticdotes without too much flash or pretense. I think the trouble is, either your stories aren't amusing enough, or your delivery of them isn't amusing enough. The punchlines or the payoffs seem to get lost. Maybe watch more stand up comics and practice good basic delivery or timing, i think
Bianca Ozawa............Animator /Canada ----------------------------------------------- Hi Behzad! I was actually impressed. I think you've chosen themes that are kinda universal. So I understood it all. Liked the pace also because the comedy in north America is so fast paced I sometimes miss the joke. I like how you made it almost visual with the acting.
let me know how the comedy goes. best wishes, Biancca
Franck Herouard............Animation table merchandize ------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Mr Farahat, I watched 3 of your short stories. I am not sure to be the right person to help you as I am not involved anymore in the tv production industry. But I did appreciate your acting, with roundness. I think the character (who is really interesting) could be more designed to be seen on a tv occidental screen... An object, like your chair, could change the mood and could be a strong and colorful element (more televisual than scenic)... The framing that cuts a the knee is quite weird. I don't like your socks that always appear in the foreground... But in "The Hair" the position is more interesting (someone at home instead of an actor ?)...
Hope it will make sense. Best Regards/Franck Herouard
Tim Dorian...........Actor-Writer ----------------------------------
Nice looking at your work but to attract an American audience you're going to have to continue sending it out and having it viewed to fine tune it and make them more appealing. You seem like a nice person but Tangerine I did not like for the subject matter. I have one child who is now 21 and since becoming a father I've developed an appreciation for all children and so the thought of a child choking gets me upset and is in no way funny to me. There are however many people who might find it amusing in some way.
Next you should place a little more explaining about the subjects you are making fun of. I found some of your skits a bit lost in translation. Since you want to approach the American market you should have the titles in dual language so this market knows what they say. Considering the ignorance of the world in general and the current suspicion between our cultures I believe you have a wonderful idea of bridging the gap through humor. You just have to work the audience to find what this side of the world would find entertaining. I'm going to watch them again and see what some other of my friends think.
Try and find someone over your way to possible fine tune and write some material with you. The key is in testing your material until you find what works. You might also concentrate on your 'character' as being the selling point to the humor. You might even incorporate the very differences in our cultures as the focus of the humor. That itself can be extremely funny. I'll get back to you. In the meantime, if you'd like to friend me go right ahead and if you can't just let me know and I'll 'friend' you. This way I can ask some friends to watch your material to get their opinions. This does sound like fun.
Todd Glass............standup comedian /U.S ----------------------------------------------------- Hello hello hello I was only able to watch one of them but I thought it was very enjoyable and I'll so really enjoyed the opening… For what that's worth… I'm talking about the musical opening the intro to the show…
Kyle Marshall........Animation Director ------------------------------------------------ Hey Behzad,
So I watched the pieces you had suggested, and have a number of thoughts. Firstly, I really enjoyed them, although I really have no idea how hey would be received in western culture. It really depends on what audience you are looking for, and where you would hope to get the series picked up, if that is what you are looking to do.
So a run through on my thoughts on the pieces from your FB:
- One of the things I really liked, was personal ,in that it was great to see you telling a story like you did when we used to spend Saturday's drawing and walking for groceries. Brought back a lot of those memories. But, and audience that doesn't know you, wouldn't have those same memories and nostalgia of watching the film, HA, so this comment doesn't really count.
- All your acting, expressions, etc are great. Your english is very good, and understandable. But the sound quality was poor, and seeing as the project relies so heavily on the sound and your acting, you will want to make sure the sound quality is top notch. For example, at times when you talk very loudly, or yell, the sound cracks.
Honestly, other than those two comments I have nothing. The market you want to hit will be the big thing. I'm not sure how much content is out there online and TV in Iran or the countries in the region, but there is so much stuff coming out of North America, a creator needs to know their market and how to hit it, or also they just need to know how to market their idea.
What is the goal for the project? When do you release more?
Omar Aziz...........acting student/ Egypt ------------------------------------------------- That is pretty good . I think it was pretty with your talent i laughed for it . Tell me is it show on TV or YouTube only ??
Monica Lewis..........Author of "HOLLYWOOD THROUGH MY EYES" ---------------------------------------------- Dear Behzad:
"Thank you for sharing your video links with me. I found them offbeat and amusing, even if I did not always understand the humor in them. I am not sure if people in Western cultures will generally enjoy them, but I wish you luck with your project, just the same. Sincerely, Monica Lewis"
Shahnawaz Shudhi..........animation , Bangladesh ------------------------------------------------ Dear Mr Farhat Short comedy episode is well excepted by all over the world. Important think is to carry out the situation through the body language & voice acting, I think you did well enough in your acting. I really liked your acting "timing". You have a special gift of acting which is deadly required in Our Animation Film Industry. You are a valuable asset for Iranian animation Industry.
I enjoyed watching your clips, they were entertaining. I know some people at my work that they follow this type of talk shows and can get their feed back if you want. I never watched or listened to any kind of talk show therefor I can't give you much of an opinion on this,
all I can say is that it was entertaining, the one with the sonography was funny , but I guess people who know how things work in Iran understand it better.
Kimberly M Zamlich.....Freelace Artist U.S --------------------------------------------
The problem I have is that these stories are not as entertaining as they could be. My advice to you would be to watch some of the great story tellers of our western culture such as Jeff Foxworthy, Robin Williams, Bill Cosby. After watching these guys, imagine how they would tell your stories. How can you make your stories unique or unforgettable, or poignant etc. Be clear on what you are trying to convey: is it humor, tragedy, whimsy, etc. There has to be a beginning, middle, end. And ask yourself, Why would I want to watch this? I hope this helps..
Paula Poundstone --------------------------------------
Hello Behzad,
Thank you for sending samples of your comedy show to Paula. She can not read everything that comes in so we in the Mail Room will be sure to mention it to her.
You are a very talented storyteller and your style of comedy will probably translate well to other cultures. Certainly the world needs more laughter.
We wish you all the best with your TV show and all future endeavors.
I really enjoyed your acting on youtube. The stories would be wonderful out here, my questions are:
1. Is the show a one person narrating everything type of show? 2. Are you actually going to have other actors on set while the narration goes on? 3. Will you have props in the show?
It was great to hear from you too.You are welcome, I am always open to help others whenever I can.
Your English accent is great, I understood every word you said.
To answer your question, your show is great and it would make a great show out here because it reminds me of stand up comedy.
Good luck on everything, you are on the right track.
He is very artistic :)) Well,keep on doing it. Where do you want to show the stories-internet ?.....
As I can see, you want to do the show for the west audience and to introduce us with your humour. I really think you do it well and you cope well with the fast active style. We can understand the things you say.
Suzie Hardgrave .......Director, Theatremaker, Actor and Acting Tutor --------------------------------------------------------------
Okay Behzad
I'm not sure about the style of comedy - it's dry, camp and childlike.
There were two I watched, and to be true to myself, and you, I don't wish to watch anymore. It doesn't appeal to the social humour I find funny, or the humanist side of life which is Universally funny.
I take only the responsibility for my own feedback though.You may want to keep sending it, and asking others for more comprehensive and varied feedback.
Karin De Ponti......actress-performer/Italy ------------------------------------------------
HI.NICE TO MEET YOU!
THEY ARE VERY FUNNY. IT REMINDS ME A BIT OF WOODY ALLEN, DOESN'T IT?! ;)
YOUR ACCENT IS GOOD. ITALY IS THE HOMELAND OF COMEDY (TOTò. EDUARDO DE FILIPPO). COMEDY HERE IS MORE LAUGH ORIENTED. YOUR COMEDY I THINK IS LIKE THE ENGLISH HUMOR. IT IS GOOD BECAUSE IS CLEAN AND KIDS ORIENTED, NO VULGARITY AT ALL.
MAYBE (MY HUMBLE ADVICE) YOU COULD THINK ALSO TO OTHER COMEDY STORIES WHAT I MEAN IS WORKING ON ANOTHER KIND OF HUMOR BECAUSE MAYBE IT COULD NOT BE UNDERSTOOD. ANYWAY YOU SHOULD TRY WITH THIS OF COURSE BECAUSE IT IS DIFFERENT!
I HOPE MY ADVICE COULD BE HELPFUL FOR YOU! BEST, ARIN
Tim Ferguson......Exec Producer,Screenwriter/Australia -------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
Wow, a very amusing collection of clips! Your performance is highly engaging, heartfelt and funny. Your stories translate perfectly well (there are some sticky situations with universal appeal).
Go for it! You are distinctive, and it's always good to stand out from the crowd! I had no problem with your accent at all, it's very clear.
The material could do with a few more gags, but they'll come in time as you work with audiences. (Or you can save a lot of trial & error time by using the principles set out in my book).
Over all, the questions you ask all have positive go-for-it answers.
Thanks for send the links through, Behzad, I had a great giggle. Best of luck with your show.
I just had a look at the first two. You can count on my honest opinion if it helps you.
Tangerine - I don't really understand why you were in a "cab" with a mother and child - did you mean a bus?
I absolutely loved "Sonography" - I laughed out loud when I watched it, brilliant story-telling Behzad, very entertaining. I also really like the music introduction. Who do you think would be your audience? It's an adult theme - are you intending on doing live stage performances? I w ill watch the others and let you know my thoughts.
I understood your english fine
Zipper - Firstly, I wouldn't call it zipper because as soon as you start the story I already know what the problem is - it's the zipper. So maybe call it something else which doesn't give away the story. Otherwise, I really enjoyed watching you. When he goes to hit you, maybe you should scream out loud to make it more dramatic....
Hair - again I wouldn't call it "hair" because it gives tooo much away. If you are aiming at western audiences I would mention names of western dishes not iranian as we cannot relate to gorma sabzi etc. Instead of mosque, say "takeaway" instead and so on. I really enjoyed it - brilliant!
Banana - very good. The iranian drink you mentioned, westerners won't understand that.
I have just seen your videos. At first I had a hard time understading them, mainly because of a cultural barrier. I do see the humor in them, but I don´t find them humorous. I´m going to give you some technical advice that you can modify to make it easier for me (at least) to understand.
-You are at the side of the camera, I think you should be in the center. -I think you should stand-up. -when you talk to the characters you should talk to the camera. It looks like you place the characters at your side, making you speak to your side. Thats distracting, and the audience misses your face expressions. You see, if you are talking to characters that are at your side, even if they are imaginary, you may loose our attention (as viewers, we want the actor to speak to us). -Sound: It would be a good idea to record the sound with a clip-on microphone and then replace the videocamera audio with the audio you record. the audio that the videocamera records sounds far, and makes it difficult to follow the narrative.
If you work on those technical issues your videos may be better understood by western culture, without loosing their identity, which I think its very important for them to have.
Samer Chidiac....... Senior Marketing & Technology Strategist/Lebanon ---------------------------------------------- Hi Behzad,
I went through the links you sent me, and i also clicked through the ones that you did in persian; I'm not much into your type of comedy but here's some general thoughts:
1- The quality of production is better in your persian versian than in your english one, especially Audio (it has more noise in the english version)
2- You may need to work more on your english accent, as people would evaluate how "Funny" the episode is, bu the degree they are understanding the Jokes in addition to "NOT FINDING" some of the terms Too Ironic. In Addition to the perception of "Not Being Natural"
3- Since the episode is too simple with just you and a black background (which in my opinion is too Dark for a Family Comedy show vs Comedy in general) you can include some terms that appear in White or in grey shown on the screen next to you to assist the audience in Keeping up with you.
My Final comments, Your show is Different and have a good potential if you find the right people watching it... And Based on my note, the persian version was more successful in terms of viewership and feedback.
Mark ............actor /United States -------------------------------------------
Behzad...many thanks for reaching out. Very much enjoyed 'Zipper'...primarily because it is so universal. For me 'Tangerine' was a little more difficult to follow. Western audiences are notoriously short on attention span so your three minute format is perfect.
I personally enjoy simple story-telling versus special effects...I applaud your use of simple black background. From a technical standpoint the audio prevented me from getting every word. Not sure if you used a body mike. If not, it might make it easier for the viewer to be clear on each word.
I wish you success on the longer format. please keep me posted. Cheers, Mark
Sandra Risser............Stand-up Comic ------------------------------------------- I'm not the best person to ask as I have a slight hearing loss which makes it very difficult for me to understand English that is not American English.
From what I could understand, I found the stories delightful. Best of success with them.
The packaging of the shorts is nice: titles and the music. The stories themselves (I sat through a few) are okay, though they lean towards the Iranian idiom/culture.
The big issue is going to be the performer, whose overly broad acting is not a good fit for video. (I'm not sure whether his acting would be better in live performance.) If he's a producer, he may want to try to finding another actor that people respond to better.
(People--westerners at that--are leaving bad comments on at least one of his videos.) Sorry for not having a better report.
NO name -------------------------------------------- I agree with Mark about the actor and while the videos seem to be well produced I feel as though I was missing something about these stories.
Not knowing much about the Iranian culture could have been an issue.Also the later videos have many fewer views than the earlier ones, seems to be very telling.
Marshelle Woodland......CEO/FOUNDER of MIDWEST SHOW ME FUNNY ENT/ U.S -------------------------------------------
Thank you, Sir. I'm doing well. I did enjoy your performance. Thank you for sharing. Keep up with us. We're working on budgets for a play and screen play.
Behzad, I did understand you. I am a very open minded individual. First, I'm sure you understand that comedy is Comedy. Second, if you are happy with your style of comedy I'm sure many others will too. Now :-) OL
Jay Abdo........Actor at RPM Talent Agency California / Syria ----------------------------------------
I think this is great, you are so talented, fast shifting and controlling. people in the west like this, they are thirsty to other cultures
The western Audience don't like to make effort's, so would like to follow something they know. If you give them something new you have to be among them and offer topics related to both of you & them.
Gregory Joseph .......Campaign Manager at Mark Alexander for State Senate --------------------------------------------- Hello Sir:
Thank you for sending me your video. I appreciate you thinking of me. I'm not going to tell you details on your material. I believe if you find your material is funny, you will find an audience that feels the same.
One thing I would keep in mind, Western audiences are not all the same. The U.S. Is big, diverse country. What may be funny to a New Yorker may not be funny to someone who lives in Texas. Please keep this in mind as you market yourself to the West.
Also, I would try to make the language as universal as possible. What may be common phrasing for you India may be foreign to us. In addition, if you must use natural phrasing try a humorous way to translate it or relate it to a US audience. For example, in India you use curry like we in the US use sugar or guns.
I have a friend who is India right now. I will forward your videos to her as well.
We are celebrating a holiday of giving thanks today in the US. I hope this email finds you in peace and grateful in knowledge that by your message and videos, you are helping make the world a smaller place.
PAOLO CAMMISULI.......Actor / Italy ----------------------------------------------
O.k, no problem,....well it was Pretty Good, but I would work more on the rhythms, comedy is all a matter of rhythms
I think you need to work more about script, rhythm of the beat, it is difficult to explain in few words. Just have a look at Bill Cosby Comedies on youtube and you will understand.
Good luck,...you can do that in the right way ,... for sure
Mary Gulivindala.........Freelance Comedy Writer wellnesscoaching.com ------------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad,
I watched all the videos. Your question of how they will be received in the west would be fine. The question is where do you want to pitch them and in what format.
I married into a family from South India. I am familiar with that culture intimately. The significance of "materialism" in Banana, and the hair in Veggie things resonate deeper with me than someone not familiar with the culture. Point being I get it at a different level than your typical Westerner. Across the board, anyone will get your work.
You did not ask for my opinion regarding you material but pardon my unsolicited comment. In "Tangerine", I wanted the little girl to spit out an eraser.
Here is my friends contact info. Check out his center in LA. There could be a collaboration opportunity for you both.
-- Jordan Elgrably Executive Director
Beirutlosangeles.org Freedom Theatre West
DO YOU KNOW OF SPALDING GRAY? GOOGLE HIM. Here is a link to one of his videos: http://youtu.be/PCGmra0eFQk
Thanks for the inspiration. There are no coincidences.
I love the tugging on the shirt. I wanted the story to continue. What happend, was the child reprimanded? Did everyone laugh, will your family be gossiped about when you leave? I also like the set, Black chair? black stage? It works.
Bryan Cox ..........President at Cox Marketing and Owner, Saskatchewan,Canada ------------------------------------------------
I'm honoured that you reached out. I could see this as a "one man show" You are an actor and storyteller and a fun one to watch at that! I'm not sure where you live but in North America we have "Fringe Festivals" This would be the venue for your act for sure. I have to say, this kind of act wouldn't be right for the "stand-up" stage.
Behzad, you are very talented and please stay in touch my friend .Bryan Cox
Jim Jermanok .......Film Writer, Director and Producer. (an award-winning writer) New York ----------------------------------------------
I saw Banana and Zipper. The actor is sweet, perhaps too sweet. He mispronounces a few words. The biggest problem is the writing. Very silly and not funny enough.
As a comedy writer-director, I am very critical. I'm sorry, but this is my honest opinion.
Of course I am very locked into a Western perspective, but I have been to 75 countries and lived in 5 of them including Turkey.
I found your work similar to children's theater here in the US. It is not very complex and does not really have a beginning, middle and end--which bothered me. I also thought it could be more funny.
John Aguirre .........Day Productions, Producer /U.S ------------------------------------------------
Behzad,Although you're presentation and execution of the material is enthusiastic, I think you should re-think your material. A choking baby is a tough sell in any "comedy" or "family" market when it comes to entertainment. Perhaps you could find lighter fair to start with.
No problem with a "westerner" getting your stuff. (I'm always amazed when someone speaks such great English, when I can't. And here in a Chicago suburb, I'm surrounded my Spanish and Arabic.)
Tangerine: Since I kid could have died, I think that kills the humor.
Sonography: Like this the best. A comic world, a good opposition that's comical, an uphill struggle, a good capper.
Zipper: a good comic situation, but to me, could use more exploration. Needs to be more embarrassing to the point-of view character. Just trying one way or another, trying to get the point across
Hair: This does nothing for me. I think the structure is off. Sketch structure is a want( usually comic), a comic opposition, and escalation of conflict, which raises the stakes, and take the POV character further into the comic world, the comflict is brought to a climax, and finally a capper or twist ( which needs to be unexpected)
Banana: Not real conflict, consequences. The real problem is that a conflict must be "life threatening," which doesn't have to be physical. There are no consequences for the POV character.
Mel Mills ........ACTOR / SELF EMPLOYED PERFORMING ARTS --------------------------------------------- Hi,
No problem. From a critical viewpoint, the sound issues put me off watching for long, also the presenter moves around too much - too animated for my own liking.
I would also add that it is not my kind of humor - so sorry about that, but hope the feedback is useful to you.
As a thought, you may wish to take a look at some old footage of Ronnie Corbett who used to do a sketch from a chair as part of a larger comedy show on Primetime BBC TV years ago. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjaDtj19PNc The comedy aspect is noticeable at once because of the relationship of the chair size to his own stature. His comedic timing is impeccable Filmed in front of a 'Live' audience (Not canned laughter) this tells the listener when to laugh ;-)
Eye contact is maintained almost throughout entire sketch He 'Leans; in to camera - this makes it more personal. . as if he is addressing you in person (Old trick which works every time to engage others attention.He has a comic 'Look' also, which helps hugely
Hope these points are of interest to you also (There are a host of his sketches on Youtube and most would still get prime time viewing today if they were fresh)
Jerry Miner .....comedian at standupformissions.com /Seattle -----------------------------------------------
Hey Behzad,
What are you trying to accomplish with these videos? Are you working on a theater production , stand-up routine(s), TV shows, webi-sode? Are you looking to provide content for family non profits or children's programming? Pre-school?
Not sure I can speak for all of western culture.
I can tell you if I think it's funny and where I would take it if it were me. But then, that would be just an opinion. Do you know what i mean?
Is English your first language? If not, what is your first language? Where did you grow up and where do you live now?
This may sound a bit vague and you have probably heard it before, so forgive me if I am repeating, but you need to figure out who exactly you're targeting. If it's children's theater it would be pointless to get a bunch of "feedback" from stand-ups. Most tend to be dirty and have no patience for anyone that can't further their career.
It feels like a theater piece. Like a work shop. How long have you been at this? How many times have you performed the five monologues? How often do you perform...these and others?
It doesn't feel polished, so I wouldn't put it in front of a bunch of paying customers. In a year you might just blow the doors off a place.
It's hard to get an idea of you, how hard you work and your goal from five short videos.
I wish you the best. Show business is the only business where they can't kick you out. Just keep doing it.
If you have any questions feel free to drop me a line and I will do my best to be helpful.
You are correct in your understanding of the generalities of the medium.(Eastern vs Westen) I did watch all five episodes. After the first one I could predict your punchline. But I have also been a comedian and writer for 27 years. More importantly, I am a fan and student of stand up comedy, one man shows and spoken word. That said...
If I were presented with these five shorts and asked for my help, I could certainly critically pare down the scripts for maximum impact as well as shape the performance. But it is not my project and I have not been hired to do so.
Three minutes with one partial laugh at the end is not gong to keep anyone's attention. In stand up comedy there needs to be a laugh every fifteen to twenty seconds, otherwise it's not going to fly. They way you're presenting the stories leaves me wanting to know more about the show. On their own, to me, I was unfulfilled.
I have worked with master story teller Bill Cosby and even he manages to squeeze every morsel of humor into his stories, which are much like yours, derived from every day situations. If you haven't done so, watch or better yet, listen to some Bill Cosby. It may help or at the least, you may laugh.
Anything can be appealing, it just matters how it's packaged and delivered.
So tell me, where do you live now and what are the languages you are most comfortable with?
Quinton Barr .......Actor & Voice over Actor B.C,Canada ---------------------------------------------------------------
I watched the first one and it did not look like a show? it looked like a low budget demo reel. I liked the energy But... I could not understand what he was talking about. His accent was off for being natural. From time to time i understood a little of the story i wish i could have learned more of what the story was about. Maybe you should hire a Actor from Canada or the US? i hope this helps i dont no exactly what you are looking for from me but please ask away if you have any more questions.
Donna Harris ........Marketing and Visual Anthropologist ------------------------------------------------
Thank you Behzad.
Thank you for sending me the clips. I watched them and my take away is, we are all the same all over the world. Where do you perform the experimental show?
In regards to your questions...Yes,I definitely see the universal connection of the subject matter.The answer sort of depends on your target audience. Will it be Easterners who were born in the West? Or are you looking for a multi-cultural audience.
My personal style and one that professional motivational speakers use for story telling is 1) Start out with big laughs 2 ) make them cry 3) make them think and 4) leave them laughing. That is a formula that seems to work.
Your material is something that everyone can relate to however, as you stated, it is not stand-up comedy for an Western audience. If you want to convert it to a stand-up routine, it would need to be totally re-written. In all honesty, it needs to be much funnier, even for the east, I think. It feels like you are holding back.
Take care and hope that helps you. Sincerest regards, Donna
I saw the "Banana" – it is great! Funny and delivered greatly. I saw "Sonography"–it is great and very funny. I saw on the Subway – again funny and great. I saw Hair and it is great and funny. I saw Tangerine – Funny.
If you wish to address foreign people just make the credits in English.
All videos, in my opinion, are edited greatly, short, to the point and presented greatly. I love your humor.
If we can do something together to increase our marketing let me know. My activity is on my site – http://www.AriksWorld.com
Are you from Iran? This might be a problem .. I prefer this kind of humor, which is not "active" and more calm and relaxed. I think that you submit your material nicely and your accent does not show.
I can't say about US culture. I can say that I like what I see!
NinfaPerez......Talent/ActorLosAngeles, California Entertainment
I Love the hand expressions! makes the story a life, and the chair is great for this topic!!!
I have seen your shows!!! I love them all, you are very creative indeed. I liked the fact of using a chair in during your monologues, it works great for motion picture!! And the using of your hands expressions,are fantastic! really brings to life the story.
I Love them, keep up the great job,I hope to meet you someday!!! :) Great Job. :)
Brian Haley ........songwriter and musician -----------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad, I am happy to provide some feedback for you and your videos. Please keep in mind that I am not a performance expert. I am a songwriter and musician primarily, and performer lastly.
To start with, I'm not quite sure what the purpose of your performance is. Also, is it meant for an adult audience or for children? This is not clear because of your acting style.
If it is meant for a Western adult audience, my guess is that it is not going to reach a very wide audience. However, I believe if you fine tuned your performances' specifically for children then you might have some luck.
I'm certainly not an expert in 'experimental' type video, but I do have a good sense of what works and what doesn't.
If you really want to make a living performing, I would strongly suggest pursuing children's theater or shows of some kind. You have a whimsical engaging style that I believe children would find interesting. Furthermore, I would suggest that you carefully study as many performers as you can that perform for children. Watch Sesame Street, or Pee Wee Herman, Mr. Dress up, etc., etc. I believe is you do your homework, so to speak, then you may have a chance at performing for children.
Please understand, I don't say this in a disparaging way. I say it because you asked for feedback, and this is what I am seeing as I watch you on video.
Maray Ayres........Actor/Producer Film .Theatre /Los Angeles, ------------------------------------------------
You are adorable and I love your material. I would like to see you move around besides just sitting on the floor. Try it. But I DO love your presence and keep it up. Bless you....
I read the comments. Just consider them and then keep on doing what you are doing with your art. Everyone has an opinion. Just keep on perfecting and trying new ways and new things with what you do. Don't let anyone discourage you. maray ayres
Neil Schell .......Executive Producer, Director,Actor /Vancouver, Canada ------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
Well, I watched Banana. It's sort of funny but not that funny. What you are doing is more of Standup Comedy. And, you guessed it, our comedians stand up when they do skits that are similar.
The set up for a joke like this would be more personal too. Like, "One day our family went to my wife's brother's house. This guy... rich! Opulent rich - crystal, gold, antiques... things you wouldn't want our three kids to get within a mile or two of in case they decided to play trapeze with the chandeliers." Something like that - I'm not saying what I wrote is funny, I am just saying that if you make it more like a story that did happen it's more of what we are used to hearing from comedians. And it is very important to have a live audience. Laughter is contagious so when you get a live audience laughing the viewers tend to laugh more too.
I liked the pace, especially when the daughter was asking for the banana. The punch line worked pretty good as the audience was expecting it but it could still hit harder.
It has potential.
They are all valid points (comments)- not sure about the "severe cultural barrier " part but there is a slight one that is easily overcome. I didn't find the accent difficult the understand. An American might.
Thank you for sharing with me your videos. I'm honored. I'm not an expert on the field, but I like the content. The short stories were funny and light.
I would maybe choose to have a very short "Intro" to the clip. Maybe something lively filmed in the streets, house, around the family , etc. Then Fade to black to add the title of the episode and Fade to the clip. It's more work, more editing, but would make it more "alive".
The fact that he's sitting telling his story is interesting. Try and get a muffler around your mike to muffle the sound; it’s a bit "Crisp and Sharp".
I hope this is the type on comments you were looking for.Best of luck and keep an open mind. Best of luck, V
Hani Tahouf ........Director Of Business Development - ------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
Thank you for the links, and I've seen them. Personally, I'm looking for comedy content for the Arab market that can be dubbed into Arabic.
My impression was that the content was a full fledged comedy series production, in Iranian, that can be dubbed for the Arab TV market, reflecting the day to day social life of an Iranian family.
I liked what you have produced, however it is too simple a tv format to be able to take it to the Middle East market.
I hope you appreciate my concern and if you have other similar content to what I was looking for, or can help me find such formats then I will gladly discuss and see how it fits in.
Tzahalla Kessari.......DIVORCIFICATION New York --------------------------------------------- Hi Behzad!
First of all, thank you for letting me watch your episodes, it was very trusting of you and I appreciate it.
Second, I liked the content of the overall skits, though there is room for improvement. Most of the material applies to all cultures (nagging children, bossy wives, "unhappy" accidents).
Nicole Marie Stultz ........Actress /New York -----------------------------------------------
Hi,
I took a look at the thinks you gave me, and I must say I laughed at all of them. You have a good sense of humor, and I could see why you want to do comedy. I would suggest just speaking more clearly, some parts where hard to understand. Other then that, keep at what you are doing.
Reading the comments I can agree on some of them and they are:
The accent is not understandable (some of the time, not all)
slow rhythm (comedy is fast past, check out Steve Harvey, Cedric The Entertainer, etc.) The acting is unnatural and too animated (Acting in general is very natural as is everyday life. When you act, you have to act like you would in real life. It's all about being as natural as can be, so it's believable.)
What I would suggest is that to watch some American comedians and see how they work on stage. Maybe you can get a better understanding of comedy sketches.
However, don't give up, and don't let people's comments get to you too much. Just look at them as things that you need to work on. That will benefit you in the long run. Sometimes I get negative comments for my acting and for my writing, but I look at them as all good, and I process it and apply it, and things end up working out for the best. So I am sure they will for you too. Take care. Nicole
Maureen Bolog ............Owner,Actor's Craft Greater Chicago --------------------------------------------- Dear Behzad Farahat,
I enjoyed your comedies. You have wonderful physical work and engaging stories. You have a very likable presence.
From an acting perspective, I suggest that you PERSONALIZE the person to whom you are telling the story. Also know WHY you are telling this person the particular story. In acting, we talk about Scene Objective. What am I trying to do in this scene? Choose an objective that requires RECIPROCAL action. Your communication is not complete until you "check-in" with the other character (in this case your substitution for "audience") and see if they are giving you what you need. Use transitive verbs which require reciprocal action.
Example: You are "being funny." This is not reciprocal action. Think in terms of "Make Aunt Mary laugh." Use a person you know as a substitute for "audience". Check into see if Aunt Mary is laughing or smiling. Let that "trigger" your next part of the story you are telling Aunt Mary. (Of course, it is a camera and not Aunt Mary.)
Example: In Banana, why are you telling the story? Perhaps your friend, Tom, was telling you about how much mischief his sons were getting into - and how you are lucky to have daughters who are so well mannered. Now you can "Make Tom see my daughters keep me on my toes!"
I don't believe you are actually talking to me - but a direct gaze into the camera indicates that is your intent. You don't see me. So personalize the conversation. Have an improvised conversation with your friend while you are facing the camera and your friend is behind the camera. Look at your friend (for the exercise) not the camera. See how YOU speak naturally to your friend. Trust that you are enough without "pushing the humour." Then turn your gaze and have that conversation to the camera lens.
I have a great book for you to read: The Power of the Actor by Ivana Chubbuck. Above, I am referring to two tools in her book: Scene Objective & Substitution.
Here is an overview of Ivana Chubbuck's 12 step technique. Her book goes into them in greater detail. It is a fascinating read. I am certified to teach her technique. She is still teaching in Los Angeles.
Maureen Bolog ............Owner,Actor's Craft Greater Chicago ------------------
I am glad to be of service. Below are my thoughts about the comments others made regarding your work.
The only problem I had with your accent was the names because we are not familiar with the foreign first names. Also, some pronunciations of words - however, in Europe they pronounce words differently than in the US. My family is from Ireland and I have relations in England and I work with students from other countries, so I do not expect everyone to sound like an American. BUT for those who do, you can go on-line and get some DICTION exercises. Tongue Twisters (Example: What ails Alice asks Alex? or - The big black bug bled blue bug blood.). Open your mouth as wide as it goes so your tongue has room to move. The lips, the teeth, the tip of the tongue and the roof of the mouth - are part of good diction. Practice opening up your mouth as wide as possible when exercising your voice, tongue and mouth. Stick out your tongue and stretch it around the outside of the mouth. Don't worry about the exercises when you are "acting" because with practice it will come more naturally. Hit the consonants clearly with your lips, teeth and tongue, especially during names - because they are familiar to you but not to the typical American.
I don't agree with presence of severe cultural barrier. I think your humour is unifying. I have produced ethnic entertainments that promote the culture of other lands. I value diversity AND unity. Not everything has to be mainstream American culture.
- The style of storytelling is not appealing ( slow rhythm and no climax bursting to laugh, comparing to the fast active style used in the west , and also this safe family oriented type of humour). - The acting is unnatural and too animated
The Chubbuck Technique will help you with the last two comments. YOU are engaging. What is missing is Communicating with a LIVING PERSON that you know - substituting that person for the camera - and KNOWING what you WANT from that person.
I like family humour and am tired of people who think they have to always sell sex and violence. There is a market for CLEAN humour in the USA. Do not compromise on your values to be a success. In the end, we serve God with our work and it is to Him that we are accountable. Also, as a family man, I am sure you want your children to be able to share in your work.
Not every comedian has to have a "fast active style." Everyone is different. Look at Steven Wright. He is dry, slow, monotone and has a bunch of one-liners. Dare to be different.
There are many comedians that work clean. There is nothing wrong with safe family oriented humour. We are LOOKING for entertainments we can share with our children. SMART humour is NOT tawdry humour. Too many comedians go for shock humour with language and content. Paula Poundstone and Ellen Degeneres are CLEAN comediennes and they are very successful.
An old friend of mine was co-producer of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in the 1980s. I spent two years watching comedians with him maybe 3 times a week. The co-producer was WEARY of all the bad language and risque content he had to sit through in order to find a comedian with material he could put on The Tonight Show.
It's nice to see family humor. God bless and good luck!
Dear Behzad Sorry for the late reply. I finally had a chance to look at the links you had provided with my sister. We laughed a lot. You are a good actor and I like the format, and your English is so perfect. What is your audience target? Do you intend to make an animation version?
You made me think of http://www.cbc.ca/vinylcafe/, not sure if you have heard of it before. How would you like to take this to the next level? Best,Athena
McKay Coble ........scenic and costume designer --------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Farahat,
Thank you for soliciting my opinion. I am a scenic and costume designer and therefore not really the best choice to ascertain your dramaturgical and marketing aims. I will say that I personally found the stories charming and quite compelling in that I am not a fan of overt comedy.
Jimmy Messer ..........Actor&animation U.K ---------------------------------------------
Good Evening Behzad,
I just watched your videos, wonderful stories and perfectly told. As you may know I have been in production a very long time.
I am about to tell you something that could change your life forever and the popularity of you and your channel.
Take your stories and story board them then shoot them on location this doesn't have to cost money you can find actors and props for free.
This will make your segments into short and snappy scenes which will keep your audience engaged.
With your characterised nature you could create something that will be television worthy.Once you have budget I would love to get involved.
There are community channels that would take the show as it is but you wouldn't make any money, turning the show into a formatted show where instead of you telling the story you act it out. like a classy mr bean.
Your accent is familiar to me I have friends from Kenya with the same twangs so understanding you is not an issue.
Some stories should be westernised slightly is that's the market you want to hit like when you name food dishes, instead of something you would normally say, use things like spaghetti bolognaise in turn this will make is funnier.
Stories were fine need modification. tightening up and converting into a script for actors if your going to go that way.
Tiffany Rae Reid.......Talk Show Radio Host /Philadelphia ---------------------------------------------
So I watched the first two videos. Without knowing your intent or the type of feedback you are looking for I can tell that I enjoyed the first one more than the second. Also, you are very animated and I think I'd prefer to see you standing up and moving around instead of stuck in a chair.
I'm not sure of the actual point to any of these but then again, I don't have to know if there was one. Are you looking for a particular response?
Datin Sofia Jane Azman.......Actor/Malaysia -----------------------------------------------
Salam Behzad,
I watched all and I must say I have never seen anything quite like it.I love Iranian films but have never watched Iranian Tv shows. I love that it gives us a peek into little stories. How long is an episode? Is what I saw just a segment of the programme?
I'm not very familiar with Iranian society and culture except from what I read and watch. But I would say the comments were fair. Yes ,the concept is interesting I admit. But true, the actor's diction was not clear. Since its in English I presume you want it to watched an understood by others around the world.
I'm ok with the animated gestures but it must go hand in hand with good story telling. Hope that helps:)
insyaAllah , I think if you have a solid script , your show could go anywhere globally.
Matthew Grego .........Actor, Writer /Australia -----------------------------------------------
Bezhad,
I would say based on the links you sent me that you are a highly effective storyteller.
You have an ability to paint a picture in someone's mind which is something all performers need.
If it were ever developed into a series for the western market then the last thing you would want to do is make fun of women based purely on generalised faults stemming from gender. It just doesn't work that way here. We at least pay lip service to sexual equality.
Aside from that keep doing what you're doing. As performers of one sort or another we're always learning.
Let me address these points in the order you presented them to me:
* There are universal themes covered in these stories, namely the eccentric extended family (rich uncles etc), children that won't behave themelves, strange events on public transport and the inevitable Doctor's Surgery jokes (just avoid the sexism).
* Why must punch lines beat people over the head? Some anecdotes (told properly) have me rolling on the floor more readily than the worlds best 'zinger'.
* I understood the accent, every syllable in fact (at least where the sound did not cut out).
* You're not acting. You're relating an anecdote. They are two different types of performance, both requiring their own styles of storytelling. Both require a certain flair. To 'act' as though you were relating an anecdote would be a different type of method all together.
My only other advice to you is look at Bill Cosby's work. That's who you remind me of. He made a very successful career out of telling family jokes.
I don't claim to be an expert, these are just my opinions.
Foad Ghorbani ......Production Artist /Seattle Iranian ------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad khaan Salam,
O I really enjoyed Persian version of your works, they look great, there is no question about it, But for English version, is too far from culture here, for example I never see someone sitting and perform comedy show(In Western), they are always standing, you can check Jerry Seinfeld for reference, and they have some pause in their dialogs to give people time to think, and guess, they used a lot of sarcastic ways to express themselves. I hope all these make sense. Best, Fouad
Antonia Davies......Self-Employed Actor-VO artist London ----------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
Thanks for sending me a link to your comedy monolgue. I just had time to watch 'Banana'. I thought it was fun. A nice/gentle story humorously delivered.
Anyone who has kids can relate to it. I especially liked the physical moments when your daughter was pulling at your jumper for attention. Worked well. Good idea. Good luck with it. Antonia
Jason Condon........Animator,Designer/Canada ---------------------------------------
Hey Behzad,
I liked the one I watched. Hard to tell how some of the humor might come across over here. I'd have to watch the others to get a sense of the whole project. My humor sensibilities are more in line with the UK / English humor as opposed to North American too. So I'm not really in line with what the general populous finds entertaining. I'll try to watch the others this week and get back to you. ----------------- I just watched them all. I think Hair and zipper were my favorite. I found their punchlines the funniest and the most clear. I liked your characterizations in them the best too. I think those might play alright to a western humor base.
I think the cultural barrier remark is related to some of the specific cultural details of the stories. Like the meals you describe in the hair bit. I had no idea what those meals were, but I was still able to follow the story and get the general punchline. Maybe watering those down might help mass appeal, but it might also take away some of the charm. That will be a fine line to walk.
The style of storytelling.. I can see where that comment s coming from. The general western public seem to need that constant slap bang pacing to keep them interested.. Personally, I prefer the more storyteller pacing, as long as you're building to a big punchline and the story leading there is interesting. But I often find myself not in line with what a lot of people find funny these days. So I might eb a bad barometer for that.
I had no problem with the accent myself. But I think that's more of a person by person thing. Some people have a hard time with accents, some don't. I don't think there was a point where I didn't understand something because of it.
Hmm... I actually liked the over acted style. At first, it took some adjusting... But after that it became a part of the style for me. So I would have to say I disagree with that comment. Especially if the audience is a family audience. Kids enjoy broad storytelling.
Darren A.Furniss ....Writer,Director,Actor /United Kingdom ----------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
I have watched a couple of your episodes and I think the stories are really good! I think that they would benefit from different camera angles and cuts within each piece. For instance, starting on a wide shot and then going from that to a mid-shot and then to a close and so on. This helps the viewer maintain a visual interest. I hope this helps and I wish you all the very best.
Mark Gordon ......Entertainment, Executive & Life Coach/Los Angeles ---------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad,
I looked at the first one briefly. I appreciate the effort you have put into this work. My opinion and this is merely my opinion is that you need more b roll. More cut aways. Let the images help tell the story. Your deliver is good. The internet has created a culture with a short attention span. Also, the sound could be improved. It sounds a little like you are sitting in a tunnel.
Thank you for inviting me to view your videos. You have a lovely presence, and great mime skills, and I found your stories amusing and charming - but!
I also felt slightly offended that all of the women in your stories come across as either uncaring or not very bright. I realise you don't present yourself (your character) in the most positive light, but perhaps you could balance your insights into human nature with a little more generousity?
The banana story troubled me because - who puts a banana at the bottom of a pile of fruit? I need to have a certain logic if I'm to go along with the story.
On the technical side, since you are presenting in English, why not place some English titles into the videos as well. And definitely place some information about yourself, your experience as a performer (and other interesting facts about yourself) so that the viewer has some context.
Dave Clark.......Actor+Writer /Dallas ------------------------------------------------
Behzad,
This is very unique, well paced and your use of improv, facial expressions and character development are all great. Kind of reminds me of a character that would pop up in a variety show...which I miss and wish reality shows would stop and the old time variety shows would come back.
I didn't have trouble understanding any of the stories. Even within the U.S. people's accents and culture vary between state to state.
It did take me a while to pick up the accent but I didn't have much trouble.
I thought the animation added to your character.
What I think they mean by the style not being appealing, is that in the U.S. we are used to constant action...so all your stories you sit and tell us would be acted out by people probably not in a stationery position.
Hope this helps/makes sense...best wishes to you. I see you've done a lot of interesting work. Dave
Sasha Marina .......Host in The Sasha Marina Show /Miami ---------------------------------------------
Thats interesting. please send me more information about your show and what you do, to my Show's email. perhaps i could give you a feature on the blog.
Eslam Shams........Iranian Comedian / Los ---------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Farahat,
I watched your clips during our break from our rehearsal with 7 friends (Actors & Stand Up Comics). Everyone agreed that your facial expressions were great and you are a great story teller. However in today's market and Hollywood's commercial approach to art, this sort of program has a bigger appeal to the crowd that follows Sesame Street, etc.
As unfortunate as it sounds, technology has changed the art as we knew it. CGI has taken over. One man plays are thing of the past. The ratio of the followers for this type of show comparing to new wave of audiences is 1 to 10. It is a sad fact but it is true.
Being a stand up comedian in Hollywood and also an actor who has done two ONE MAN PLAYS (each 70 minutes) like your clips but REALISTICALLY I am merely the ONE against those TEN people I mentioned.
I wish you success in what you do. I hope we can work together some day.
Marisol Strauss.............Model/Actress / New York -----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi ,I just watched a short film video of yours . Thanks for emailing me I like the video :)
One thing might be different is you have no shoes on I quickly noticed. I think your videos would be perfect you might need to as more interest for people to enjoy.
I enjoyed the show, I feel you should have more to the story to catch audience attenion. And make sure to ware shoes when doing a show.
John Burchat ........Actor, Artist,Photographer /Canada ---------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
I watched and listened to the first one, "Banana", however the acoustic echo of the room plus the high pitched rapid voice in some sections made it impossible to listen to. I lost interest after 1 minute. Perhaps a better background or actions on the part of the comic rather than sitting and making gestures would entertain your audience.
Sulagna Chatterjee ........ actressUTV/ India --------------------------------------------
Hi, First of all i have not seen such concepts in India. But i really liked it. The change of graph in voice and performance, the timing, the stories narrated everything was good. I m sure this show is doing well in Iran. All the best.
But i have a feeling that after a certain span of time people may find it boring as it would be a monotonous thing for which may be more or various actors can be included, various locations and some sound effects can come to rescue.
I didnt find any cultural barrier. It was similar to any other show which u see at international level like friends etc. I didnt find any problem in that.
For the style, as i said ppl may get bored after sometime and hence have suggested some new things in the previous mail.
For the accent and acting, well, it depends from person to person. Generally if u want to do comedy u have to overact thts what i think, so its fine and for the too animated thing, it could be more of a stage play format with more actors playing the characters rather than just one person alone doing all they show. This would give a brk to the eyes and ears of audience keep them away from getting bored. Thats all I can suggest. coz i dont have much idea as to what kind of formats are acceptable in ur region
Once again good job and all the best. Hope this suffices. Thankyou
Twyla Littleton-Shabtai......Voice Over Actor /Los Angeles ---------------------------------------------
Hi Mr. Farahat,
I watched your first video so far (Banana) and I think it is enchanting. You have a nice storytelling quality and I like that it is clean and wholesome. I will watch your other ones as time permits and get back to you.
Richard McWilliams ...........Actor /Ireland ----------------------------------------------
terrible
i dont know its intention, is it supposed to be funny , is it you telling a joke? if so it does not work as comedy because the joke is not funny, it relates more like a story only people in the family would understand, what we call an "in" joke in the west. So other people would not appreciate it. Are you playing a proposed character on the show? if so he is not believable as someone who has a wife and children but maybe that is the point of the character?
Judy Thrush......Actress Model and Talent Agency /Ontario ----------------------------------------------
I don't see the comedy in it but the story is interesting. I see this as story telling. To make it more interesting you need to relax, be natural (not rehearse), and make it sound as if you're talking to a loved family member. I don't see where the banana fits in but maybe if I listened to it again I would. I would like to see a little more to the story.
Your on the right track as a story teller. I think you could be good at that. Hope all is well with you too.
I don't know why the person couldn't understand you unless English is a second language so to to them it sounds like a dialect they couldn't register. You were clear to me.
I have to agree the story needed more of a beginnning, middle and end with a plot and climax no matter how small the story was. However, to me it was a tale or joke you would tell around a family table while eating or sitting with guest and family which wouldn't demand much of a story. For filming purposes and stage purposes it has to be more. It must have a plot and climax with a beginning, middle and end.
The acting I have to agree was unrelax so it wasn't natural. Must do a lot less on film than you would do on stage. I'm not an expert so, I would say take these criticisms and digest them and see it they have merit. What it comes down to is your opinion and vision.
I think you may be a storyteller that needs to grow.
Saif Khaldi Sha Latta...........Producer Director & Writer BOLLYWOOD. /India -----------------------------------------------------------------
Assalamalaykum Behzad Sahab .
Lot of thanks and I have seen you links and I like it very much. second thing for further discuss please mail me on my mail cinevisionarts@yahoo.com and before you mail search me in Google in my nick name S K Sha Latta and see all my video for to be further and professional discuss.
also request you to send the detail of your video and what is it,I hope soon you will be in touch.with great regards.
RICH TONY PARRISH.........ACTOR, VOICE ACTOR, /Dallas ----------------------------------------------- Keep up the good work, and If you ever need an Actor like me contact me any time here.
Liisa Allen...........IP Talent Management/Casting, Project Development, /Toronto -------------------------------------------
Simply FUN. Thanks so much for sharing, and seems you are having the time of your life with these skits. ------------ Truly my pleasure, anyone who posts something personal here, I truly try to get back to as soon as I am able. You said it well, in your title that this was "Experimental" ...and it is FUN to experiment, isn't it? Coming from an ANIMATION background it would be new and challenging to do something like this for sure.
OF course there will always be something we need to improve, to learn and reflect upon.
Personally, I didn't think you were asking for a critique in the true sense, simply because of the word experimental...and though I understand some of the comments and where they are coming from--I myself, delighted in the fact that though you were indeed animated, you were having FUN, East is different from West true-but we should not be comparing oranges to apples--in my opinion.
There are NO cultural barriers present when one reaches out in my opinion to gain insight, and that you have done.
I am hoping you will take those comments, gain insight and learn and grow along the way, the things you need in order to to captivate your audience. For now you are indeed experimenting, and having FUN, and I like that.
You aren't afraid, you are fearless, and doing so in a foreign language is commendable. While you not natural, and very animated at times---and your accent is present-I did sense the childlike wonder that is present when we are young-and discovering that which we love to do. We all are a work in progress, and we must always strive to be better. The problem truly is that it is in the eye of the beholder how one is perceived and that may be very different from how you yourself may see it. Subjectivity is the reason. From an objective eye-- Perhaps I see things completely differently than others...but I am looking at how you dared to dream, to create, to entertain yourself with that which you love and had the courage to share with strangers.
Everyone is different, and cultures play a role for sure in forming our beliefs, and the way in which we respond to something such as this. I myself just think we should look beyond those barriers--and see what lies behind these pieces, what is it that inspired you to do this in the first place, to dare to create, and attempt to do so in a foreign language even opening yourself up to post..and share? May I ask? That is what interests me most...Best, Liisa ---------
Joy Devore......... Film Director & Editor /California ----------------------------------------------
Hi Sir, Well, I've had a chance to review your material and it's not too bad, but could probably use a few adjustments before it would be widely accepted as comedy in the States. Of course, the United States has quite a variety of peoples and cultures represented, so I'm sure that it's funny to some people right now the way it is.
But in general, one of the first things you would have to adjust would be the way that women are referred to. I know that in your culture it might be normal for the women to always be the ones caring for the children or cooking, and that it might be unusual to have women doctors. But here, the norm is for parents to share responsibility for the children evenly (including feeding, bathing...etc) -- that is, if there's two parents in the household. About half of the US is missing a parent in the house, which means either the mom or the dad is the one with sole responsibility for all household affairs. We have a ways to go with women's rights in the U.S., but the difference is enough to consider revising your scripts.
I do appreciate that your comedy is clean (acceptable for the whole family to see), however, since much of the comedy here is not. We do need more of that, but the competition is quite severe. Keep trying, though, and you may succeed ;)
Yes, I'm not sure who gave you those notes, but they are indeed excellent. I responded to the women's rights issue (which could probably be included in cultural barriers), because it is the most critical change that needs to be made.
Since I personally have many international friends, and have been around the world a few times, I understand the cultural references and the accent did not bother me at all. But, yes, perhaps the average American would have trouble understanding the way you speak. I would suggest, however, not to worry about the accent so much as the English grammar. Pay specific attention to that. And try to hang out with Americans, if you can, then you might pick up the flow and accent.
The rhythm is definitely slower than the average comedian here. Just imagine eating your lunch in your car while driving on the highway on your way to work, and you're running about 5 minutes late already. That's the pace of American life in the city, where most comedians either fail or succeed.
Here's some clips for you to view. While I don't appreciate all of their humor, and certainly wouldn't want you to copy their crass comments, watch it for the pacing. If you have questions, let me know.
Jim Carrey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MmNkwPtwfA
Robin Williams: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xosib6JQcl8
Eddie Murphy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JfMCBh1sJQ
Dane Cook: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXtVzj9y-bo
One thing you might want to take note of is that unless you have a talk show (and sometimes even talk show hosts don't sit), you are standing the whole time. Standing gives you an energy that sitting lacks, especially sitting in the posture that you assume. It's not that you can't sit, but if you sit, then your jokes have to be better than the best comic in the United States. Even the best comics stand. That's why they are called stand-up comedians.
Also, every comedian needs a crowd, in order to be successful. A crowd of people will give you even more energy, and it's the only way to get immediate feedback on whether or not your jokes are working.
Some comedians like Tyler Perry, express their laughs through film. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Kzbg6bnwFs
Elijah Daniel......Actor at NOLLYWOOOD /Nigeria -----------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad
Am watching the 'Banana' it's pretty cool, nice work you have there. Due to how busy i was i couldn't watch others, but i assure you from what i heard from 'Banana' i raise my Thumb for you. Keep it up sir.
It's a pleasure watching your comedy show.I'd appreciate, Thanks a lot
R.L Hartmann .......novelist and screenwriter /N.Carolina A ---------------------------------------------
I watched and liked 3 of the subway vids, and 2 of the others, and am subscribed now. Nice work! I laughed, and hope to find time to watch and like more.
The cartoons run a bit long, but I was drawn at once to the character, and really liked Cockroach. In Zipper, you say "my left foot" but it is your right foot. No help for that now, I suppose, as I think if the vid is updated you lose your hits. And probably no one else will ever notice that!
As with all comments and feedback, my rule is to consider the source. However, in evaluating the ones on You Tube, it is difficult to know who is commenting, or what the person's nationality and background are.
I felt no cultural barrier, and wonder if the writer of that comment might have felt some cultural BIAS.
I had no trouble understanding the ones I watched, though I did feel the animations did go on a bit long.
Perhaps you are asking the wrong person in asking me, for I guess my sense of humor does not require fast action and big ho-ho-ho in order to be funny. And I don't understand why that commenter thought safe family style humor isn't funny. We need MORE of that in this crazy world.
Do you watch the You Tube videos called Simon's Cat? I don't remember how long those are, but they are similar to your animations, and those have a big following. Of course, there are lots of CAT lovers, so they watch for the cat, not necessarily to have a big laugh.
Hope this helps. If you watch my Cordero Saga (4 videos), feel free to tell me what you think.
the 2 minute episodes of your family-comedy show are very well acted. Your skills at playing characters and telling stories are very good and a joy to watch. Thank you for sending me the links.
Michael Tyrone Boyd ......Corporate B2B&Retail /Atlanta ---------------------------------------------- Hello, I did see your "Banana" skit on youtube. It's good!
nevermind those who speak negatively! Just keep doing what you do, that's all.I have many videos on youtube,and some people make ridiculous comments (maybe they are jeaous), but mostly I have many who like my music,and those are the ones that really count!
John Aguirre ----------------------------------------------
Behzad, Although you're presentation and execution of the material is enthusiastic, I think you should re-think your material. A choking baby is a tough sell in any "comedy" or "family" market when it comes to entertainment. Perhaps you could find lighter fair to start with
Nitten Rajput .........Actor |Concept Artist /India ---------------------------------------------
Hi there /Dear Mr. Behzad.
I am doing well, thank you for asking and I hope you are too, doing well.
I truly liked all of your episodes, especially the BANANA Episode . But the best part is the performance you give by your gestures, voice modulations. By it i can visualize the scene, e.g. like reading a novel and picturing the scene in your head.
Like to add, sometimes the performance and modulation of voice if compared to all of your episodes tends to become repetitive.
As a viewer, on my part, if you could include special sounds or music, in between of the performance, like classic comedies of Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton or modern as Mr. Bean. It would give the feeling more and will be much entertaining.
That's all i wanted to say. Thankyou & Best Regards. Yours,
Kelly Lincoln ......Host Radio/New York -----------------------------------------------
Behzad,
As a director, here are my notes:
Well written. You're a good writer.
You should relate more to the "audience" (camera). when you look away, you lose me, and therefore, your audience. there should be should more of a point of view in telling the story of the banana (and all your stories). What do you want the audience to feel? What do you want to convey? Who is speaking? Why are you telling the story? these are questions for you. as someone watching and listening, I don't need to know, but you do.
I know I'm coming from a Western perspective, but these are things your audience needs to know to be engaged by your stories.
Kelly The other comments echo my notes. When telling your stories to Westerners, remember that our style of storytelling has more rhythmic variations, but I am attributing the translation process to this issue.
An exercise for you: Tell the banana story as though you were telling it to children. record it. then watch both of them, and tell me what you see/hear.
Kenneth Rock ........... British Society of Comedy Writers /United Kingdom ------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad Farahat
Thank you for sending me the clips of your TV comedy shows.
You have a very nice style with your stories and obviously it is very successful. I'm not sure if it is quite right for British audiences as we tend to prefer short, quick jokes and routines. But I am sure there are audiences around the world who like that sort of humour.
I have worked in many countries and know how humour and cultures vary so differently. I have run workshops and lecturered worldwide and always looking for new projects and opportunities.
I hope everything is going well for you. Best Regards /Ken Rock
Greg Apps ..........Casting Director --------------------------------------------
It is difficult (almost impossible to watch) because the sound is boomy. A performance driven by dialogue must have a stand alone mike not be miked from the camera, you need soft furnishings in the room so the sound dos not echo, and shoot it tighter. Good luck
Aria McKenna .........Actress and Voice Over Performer for Audiobooks,/New Jersey ----------------------------------------------- Behzad,
Kudos to you for reaching out and being so industrious!
On the production end, I'd have to say these could use some tweaking. My main issue is the audio which is very echoey, and has static. I don't know what you're using for sound, but I'd think a good lavalier mic would help, as well as some audio clean up, and maybe acoustic treatment of the space.
I feel content and performance wise, these seem like mini one man shows for theater, and not film. There are some nice elements I enjoy in terms of your sense of humor, and your commitment to the work. It's an unusual stylistic format, and I'm simply used to a more understated quality for film, and as this is a static shot, I would think it could be helpful to amp up some of the production value, relax a bit more into the performances, and perhaps come in a little closer.
I watched a bit of the Sonography piece as well, and I agree with some of the other comments. As an American, this portrayal of a female Dr, and your response to being seen by one, would appear to be old fashioned and sexist. Half my doctors are female, and none would behave in this fashion. I've spent enough time traveling to know cultural differences and divides can take some time to break down and cross over.
I hope this helps, and does not offend. There were some nice animation pieces I saw on your site as well! I did notice some inconsistencies across the board with the audio. Audio can be a very difficult challenge, but one I think that is quite important to the over all quality of any production. Good luck!!
And thank you for reaching out and requesting my opinion!
Tony Iacovides .......Actor, Director,Script writer /Cyprus ---------------------------------------------
Dear Behzar.
I've seen your monoloque-comedy about the family' affair...
Well ! I know that the culture of your country is very "closed" and "demanding".. But I enjoyed it. I liked the script, the direction but what do you think IF this comedy was played from an actor ... more manly. I think that it will be more easy for everyone to accept and enjoy the script and the story of the comedy.This actor is very good and alive BUT may be for another comedy. Are you from Iran? I have a lot of Iranian friends here in Cyprus. There are a lot of them here. ------------- I didnt know that you are Iranian. I have a lot of friends here in Cyprus from Iran. Anyway. I;ve seen your video- comedy. I liked very much the script and the direction. Its very alive, straight to the viewers and very good played by the actor.
I'd only wanted to play this monoloque about the family an actor more manly. So the script and the comedy, I believe will be more acceptable by the viwers.. I dont know. I Know only that the culture of your country is very :closed" and demanding"... ------- Well. I read the previous comments. I think they are similar of mine.
I will disagrre with the comment that there is not rythm. There is rythm in direction of this part of the play but i agree with comment that the acting is no normal. I'd like an acting more manly to challenge the viewers and showing more strong the difference between the true and the funny part of the life...
I will not make any comment for the accent of the actor because I believe that he is an Iranian actor and I do know how the Iranians speak English !!! But because of the accent , YES, sometimes I couldnt understand what exactly he was talking about.
Anyway. I dont know if this is your first time directing in English. But I believe that you must find an other actor to play. This actor is very good. Really is good. But not for this play.
Your webisodes have an interesting approach and I particularly like how you dive right into your work. All in all its a amusing different and great concept. I really like it.
The comments that you received are somewhat true. Your accent is not a problem at all, but I do think that some people may not relate to your stories. I personally did not relate to them but still enjoyed them - there is a difference. However that is expected with anything you do; some people will like it and others won't. You are very animated and that is good, now try to bring that in and really create some sort of a flow. In other words act out your monologue like it is a part of a play or film instead of it being random because that is kind of what it looks like. There needs to be a climax otherwise you are essentially telling a story without a purpose - the audience will be left thinking "okay, so what now and why did I watch this?"
Paolo Benelli ......Painter art, Cameraman, editing and actor. /Salt Lake City ------------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad Farahat
I think it's a good show, because the actor works a lot persuasive animation and very spontaneous in contents of message.
I would also add that the steps are very clear ideas to the public to imagine, in this kind of show is very important focus the image of the character in his own acting style.
These are good. I personally enjoyed Sonogram. You might want to change up the background by throwing a little plash of color in the back or keep the black background and have a nonblack chair. Personally I'd change the chair.
I don’t see what they mean by this” severe cultural barrier”. What’s wrong with a little culture. That’s what makes us beautiful people. God made us beautiful like that.
The style of storytelling was funny to me. . . natural things that happen in life. We need more family oriented humor.
I understood your accent perfectly.You kept my attention and 2 to 3 minutes was just right. Hope this helps you.
Elena Banta ......Therapist at Catholic Charities /Chicago --------------------------------------------------------------
You asked for comments, so here they are. Your piece does not translate well into English. If you are trying to reach an American audience, you might want to consider a American-type routine.
Clark Long .......Founder ( Techniques Of Acting) /Los Angeles -----------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad, I view your project, first of all I liked your setting. it was very approated for story telling. I didn't know what type of audience you are reaching out to. If this is a comedy skit for adults, I believe you might have to update the material a bit more.
You as an actor you have good expression explaining a story, Made it more interesting, more colorful. Hope this help, but by any means is it bad, it just needs a little more work to let one know where you are going with this.
David Doyle ......Professional Actor /Australia ----------------------------------------------
I'm complimented you ask for my opinion. I watched them all and liked them but couldn't laugh out loud at them. It is possible Iranian people perhaps find different things funny to Australian audiences. I mean this with all politeness and sincerity. My parents were born in the 40's, loved their British comedy shows of the 60's and 70's and depending on how they were presented probably would find your anecdotes funny or amusing. I do think you're a funny, animated guy and definitely suited to comedy theatre.
Are you also a kind of stand-up comic too? You remind me of Woody Allen a little. Kind regards, David.
Dave Rosner .......U.S arine Officer+Humorist / California ---------------------------------------------
They are very arty. Very New York City-ish. Good pieces for a one man show.
What is your goal with the material? Who is the audience? Americans? Iranians? Those are for you to answer. Then tweak for that audience. It is not in American style but so what. You're an artist. You do what you want with it.
Personally, I'd like to hear more about what it is like living there and how that is or is not what we Americana's think it is like there. Do the people follow the leadership there? Do they want revolution? (But don't do anything to get yourself in trouble). How we are the same but different.
A comedy mentor of mine once had me write down the ten worst things that had happened to me in my life. Then he said, "There is your act. Make jokes out of them
Very interesting, I just haven't seen the one man comic show done in a while. I really don't know that market at all to be honest with you. I haven't seen any form of that on T.V. that I can think of other then those in Vegas and those are normally just jokes and insults. But you are a very good actor, if that was you in each scene.
There is no doubt that you are talented and creative, I think if I was you I would create a digital resume and apply for some roles that fit your age and physical appearance and use what you have here as part of your portfolio to show your wide spread of talent and maybe find some comic clubs to get the word out about your act.
Other then that I have nothing. But it was good. Just I know that comedian market is like any entertainment business position. It is not easy to break into and people look for comedians to make them laugh and forget about their lives, troubles and the evil perils for a short time, so just fine tune what you have and see who is looking for your type of work .
I can see where they would come to those conclusions(comments). There is a HUGE cultural barrier and also language barrier. As much as I hate to say it, just let me warn you about me. Never ask me a question and expect me to sugar coat you an answer or lie to you. I just don't float that way. I always say if don't really want my opinion don't ask.
I think the one man show is much out of style here in this media and unless you are one of the famous comedians on tour in a nightclub on Vegas strip could that be pulled off with out getting something thrown at them.
The style of storytelling is no appealing. This again points to entertaining someone and getting into their minds and relating to them with something, making them laugh.
Those who say:(The accent is not understandable). Americans to be honest hear that accent on the phone probably 5-10 times a day and it is never a good reason. So many of the American customer care centers have been outsourced and tech support also. So there is that barrier where the customer has a hard time understanding the person on the other end and they feel cheated and at the end of the call they are usually pissed off and call the next day and cancel their service. So you are catching the negativity of that.
I think I would have an actor do it that has a good english accent that can do the language smoothly.(than you)
Now this is just me, but I would write the whole script in proper format and put characters in it , like a skit or play and I think you will see a beautiful thing.
You have a great concept and if your purpose is to use your nationality then just make sure that they can speak the English language smoothly and clearly.
Try that and you might have to shoot it several times to get a smooth read, but you will have a great reel and then you will have a credit under your belt.
There is a slogan we have here in the state "Keep it Simple Stupid, KISS" This just means keep what you need and avoid what you don't need. Sometimes we think we need something and we don't.
I do it all the time, I usually re-write a scene three times before it is down to where it is simple and within the guidelines. But it makes for good practice and we all need practice.
Dear Behzad, in this moment I saw the tangerine.Your acting is good , that means much more better than the most at TV. But this is my opinion and you now ,that I`m living since years without TV.
Rob Gotobed ......Stand-Up Comedian/Actor /London -----------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad
I really enjoyed the clips of your show you sent me.
If I can give you some constructive criticism based on the British and American TV markets which I have written for. Your delivery needs to be more punchier and you need to be standing up and walking around to deliver it to your audience!
British & American audiences have a very short attention span (like a child) and I fear you would lose them by delivering your monologues by sitting down!
But if the opportunity arises in the near future I would be interested in working with you.
Ref : the comments:
I disagree with "severe cultural barrier" ,I believe there is a market for this..
I have no problem with your accent.
beside the sitting posture I enjoyed your presentation.
I like the style of the storytelling but the delivery needs to be more punchier!!
Rick Haymes ........Actor /U.S ----------------------------------------------
Ha Ha...well done.
Dear Behzad,
Reading through your viewer comments I can appreciate an element of veracity in each point. I am not sure who your target audience will be, but if it is in the USA I would agree that steps should be taken to address each of the criticisms.
- I would agree there are some cultural barriers to overcome but I don't see that as a knock out factor, there are cultural barriers within the US itself.
- I did not have a problem with the storytelling, but I can understand why some would, the same way I have a problem with listening to rap "music". If you have not already, watch the storytelling style and pacing Bill Crosby uses with audiences. I think "family oriented" is a good thing these days.
- I didn't have a problem with understanding the accent, but I understand how those people I am not able to understand might.
- I thought the acting was fine and reflected the culture of origin. If I had to suggest a change, then it would be to appear more relaxed. I liked the gestures and thought they are well timed.
kate Jackson ......... Contmeporary Abstract Artist / California ------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
Your show is very funny I thnk it will be well received here. How long have you been producing and directing? Well love what your doing and hope to see more.
Mandy Weston........ Actor, Voice Artist /London ---------------------------------------------
Hi
Thanks for contacting me. I have watched your stories and have the following comments;
1. If it were a show in the UK or the US, for example, this show would fit in to the genre of 'stand-up' comedy, with the funny stories being told by a comedian standing in front of a microphone and an audience. I don't think it works well with the actor sitting down. However, if you prefer him to be sitting, then the camera should be close-up so we see his head and shoulders only and he should possibly be sitting in an armchair in a 'cosy' way. The ascetic of the set would be improved with some colour, in my opinion, also maybe some canned laughter - which is an editing issue.
2. The stories are somewhat long. Although the actor's command of English is excellent, there are several translation mistakes which makes the stories less funny - the comedy is lost in translation and the punchlines are therefore flat. The speech is all a bit rushed also.
3. The voices of the other characters in the stories need to be given space within the dialogue so that it is clear who is talking - they need clear, individual voices.
4. I like the physical moments - the child tugging the father's jumper - more of that movement would bring it to life.
5. Think it's a good idea and worth developing.
Have attached some links of comedians performing similar material which you may or may not have seen, but could be useful references. Dave Allen and Ronnie Corbett are from an earlier period but were brilliant story-tellers and part of British comedy heritage. Hope this helps and good luck with your work.
Rob Weinstein .......Comedian/Screenwriter / Boston ------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
The videos are technically outstanding and you have a very well defined comedy character. I enjoyed what I saw very much--clean comedy with a strong element of acting is my favorite.
I think American comedy tends to be more rapid paced punchline-wise (probably to match our extremely hyper-culture), but that, and perhaps the topics you discuss, would be the only adjustments you might want to make if you worked for a general audience here.
I would watch Bill Cosby videos.He is the best American at telling clean, comedy stories.
To appeal to the West you will need topics the West can understand, and certainly more punchlines would help, but I think you have a unique character and stage presence and those count a lot.
Also, if family comedy is what you want to do--do it! Sometimes getting a lot of opinions is bad, because it just brings out the negatives and that can hurt our confidence.
Jayem Lane .......Field Market Mgmt,Production Coordinator/ Boston --------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad! I watched each one of your videos and i think you have great acting skills - very clever - excellent expression/stage presence..i understand that these videos are for a TV show, but the demonstrative style seems to come from/be suited for stage ... do you act for film/have demo reel ? If you are asking for feedback, i would recommend you/your videos for character roles, as i believe you would have much success as a character actor (great look/presence/expression)...
your comedy is definitely family friendly and would reach a wide demographic as such ...
Perry Kurtz ......Comedian/ California ----------------------------------------------
You need to be miked. You speak well. But, it is hard to discern your words with the room's echo. Your expressions are great. You should take it to a lie stage and work it out there. Check out my stuff at perrykurtz on here
I don't agree with any of the comments here. Just get up on stage and do it.
Steve Bluestein...... playwright/comedian /Los Angeles ----------------------------------------------
The style of the comedy is very "old school" for American taste. It appears to be a performance instead of a conversation between the comedian and the audience. Story telling is not stand up, it's more a theater piece.
Tere Joyce .......Stand-Up Comedian /Radio Show Host/ United States ----------------------------------------------
I watched your videos and found them to be very entertaining. The "actor" is it you? Excellent story teller. I like the black background, and the contrast of casual clothing worn "love the socks" during the stories.
My advice to you in terms of American Audiences is that they have a short attention span, and with comedy expect a punchline or laugh in the first 30 seconds or less. I would suggest punching it up a bit with more jokes through out the story. If you do take a longer time before the laugh, then the pay off needs to be "big".
The actor is very animated which I like, and likeable. Keep up the good work. We need to see more performances like this over here, so that we become more educated about Iranian culture.
Mansoor Shams ........Art director /Canada ------------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad,
I could manage to watch a couple of your shows, prior to define them as series of work, which of course has a good sense of humor, I couldn't categorize them of:
Who's the target audiences? If is general what about the overall story telling theme? regardless of your nice acting, probably lack of consistent subject matter is the major weakness & touching some dramatic taste to your scene setting could have a better impact. although I'm sure your own creativity is the best source of improvement. hope my opinion would assist,
Rodney Jones ......TNM Media Corp /Missouri ---------------------------------------------
i think its great .. funny and witty.. but not over the top... i like how you lead with a story line... and your delivery is uncannie... i love it... i will have to find a way for us to work together on sound future projects..
thank you for the chance to watch your youtube shows ... they are great... you have a unique style that everyone is not quite ready for ,.. they may not understand your delivery... that's what makes it good...
your not the same old standard stand up comic .. yo have a style that children and adults can follow with out the need to get obscene. many companies would like it because they can sell you to a more broad audience.
just stay the course and you will get were you are trying to go.
first of all I honor all your efforts to put this show together. I love this idea of you sitting on this chair and developing this world in front of your audience.
As an acting coach I would recommend that you slow down a bit, giving the images you develop a bit more breath so that I as the spectator can see what you describe. Permit yourself to breath more. The reward will be that the spectator is drawn more into your stories rather than staying out of it, looking at you, listening.
Don´t bother with the comments. Just slow down. Feel into it, live the images you present and then the rhythm will take care of itself.
Raja Choudhury ......Film Digital Design /US -----------------------------------------------
I liked it. Nice One man theatre show type presentation and funny stories. Reminded me of New York theatre in the 80's and 90's.
The presenter was not strong enough to hold it together for the full duration and came across a Iittle more gay and efeminate than the family man he is presenting - that is not a bad thing but you should be aware of it.
Not sure of your audience for this and the Web seems like the best route forward. How to monetize - I have no idea - perhaps make a controversial doc about Iranian life using this style and put it up for festivals...
Using irony to entertain is always risky because it assumes either a high level of intelligence from the audience or familiarity with the subject matter and therefore and inside on the black humor. Only Iranians and other people from West Asia will understand the rich uncle and other metaphors. The crossover appeal to non-Iranian/West Asians will be difficult unless you do something like Sasha Cohen. The style of storytelling is a little dated - very popular in the 80's and 90's in New York and appeals to a sophisticated urban audience who gets the metaphors. You should do it in Farsi and Arabic perhaps or dub it. A faster style with more punchiness to the key phrases from someone who has experience of one man shows or comedy stand up will do better. We need to empathize with the story teller. The accent is West Asian - nothing you can do about it and would be funnier in Persian or Arabic or to a Iranian American audience who get the metaphors. Not enough irony or self effacing quality. See Louis CK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA (stand up) or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj_4vl_H-SI
to see how to combine documentary style with stand up - his show Louie is classic.
Michael J Lasky ......Consultant,founder(C2M Services)/ Oregon ---------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad. My opinion, for what it is worth, is primarily focused upon the US television market as this is where my expertise is rooted. You have talent, but your story telling style for the core, young demographic in the US is a tough sell.
Youth today is unfortunately a sound byte mentality. They have no patience for long plots it seems. I could be wrong, but I too am long winded and disappointed with the attention deficit with USA youth.My opinion.
Rev Dr DK Gemini ......MetroSpiritual Satirist (Church of Creative Conception) /Seattle ----------------------------------------------
Your energy and facial expressions are good. The transitions at times are not clear, I feel they need to be more precise, more defined. Maybe pause in between each character.
The story is funny. Just keep practicing.(I like the all black background). I love your personality. It is very original.
Tiffany Rae Reid ..... Talk Show Radio Host and Multiracial Identity Expert /Philadelphia -----------------------------------------------
So I watched the first two videos. Without knowing your intent or the type of feedback you are looking for I can tell that I enjoyed the first one more than the second. Also, you are very animated and I think I'd prefer to see you standing up and moving around instead of stuck in a chair.
In response to the comments you have received so far:
I could understand you perfectly. I am not used to hearing your accent all day every day but I could understand every word, inflection and emotion you were conveying.
I am not sure what this even means(severe cultural barrier). If someone said this to you I would think that that person hasn't been exposed to anything other than what they are watching on Western TV.
Storytelling is an art in and of itself. What appeals to one person, group or audience may not necessarily appeal to another. Someone will appreciate and like what you are doing. If we continue to compare everything to Western style, then there would be no differences. Everything would be the same and everything would be boring...Oh wait...that's the first 100 years of American History....get my point!!
4- This (The acting is unnatural and too animated )is just one opinion...Has this person seen a Twilight movie? Whatever their opinion is, your acting ability, and, more importantly, storytelling ability, will continue to get better in presentation as you get more comfortable with what feels good for you.
Vinny Stefanelli ......Musician / Media Producer /U.S.A -------------------------------------------------------- Wonderful… the (almost) lost art of Story telling !
Bil Benden........ Stand up /Ohio/Akron ---------------------------------------------- Hi Behzad, I very much enjoyed your set. I also am a story teller and use my wife's and kids voices in my show. Keep up the good work and I hope to see you on the road......... Your friend Bil
Klaus Krabbe ......Bonnier Publications / Denmark -------------------------------------------- Hello Behzad I guess it's okay entertaining although its' not my kind of entertainment. It's not offensive in any way I can see.
I wish you all the best with what I guess is the English version of the original episodes.
I am delighted to hear from you. I think you are very talented and have a unique personality .I liked your work very much.
I disagree with what comments people have commented .I have been acting for 12yrs and think that your work is unique and your accent is understandable and acting natural. You would be very good for character.
Ali Jafri ......Chief Operating Officer/Pakistan ----------------------------------------------
Walaikum Salam Nice work. It is good.
My comment for improvement, work on timing and pauses. Review this video as an example http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38NZAqEE88M&feature=fvst
With regards to comment this is my response.
- Cultural barriers can be overcome either by perfecting the translation, one word used in another language may have the correct translation but the overall generic slang or suitability may be different.
- This person is referring to styles of comedians that he/she sees in western shows, an example is comedy by russel peters.
- Accent doesn't really matter. In-fact people like hearing other accents as long as it is understandable.
- This refers to timing. If small tweaks are made during performance than overall it would look good.
Andrei Iordache ........ /Actor/Singer/Writer /Romania ----------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad Farahat
First of all, I want to tell you that I love the Iranian culture, not just because is the oldest from the world, but because I have two romanian friends originaly from Iran. Second, but not at least, those shows are incredible. Keep original, and be yours!
Shaun Nac...... Actor at Sag-Aftra / California ----------------------------------------------
I have been to Iran before and i know u will improve as time goes by but i felt bored most of the time and did not laugh much but do keep it up and as time goes by i your jokes will improve and be able to make me laugh out of my chair.....
please do not take me the wrong way as i am pretty blunt i always say it from the truthness of my heart flat out straight.take care and have an awesome day
Hans Hartman........Filmmaker - Producer/U.S -----------------------------------------------
I know that there are many people who would think this is very funny. And for someone who is living in Iran and trying comedy for an English Speaking (mostly American) audience, you are doing a very good job of reaching across a very wide cultural gap. I will make a couple observations:
The comedian does seem to come across as somewhat feminine in his speech pattern. Not that this would keep him from being funny, just an observation.
But, the comedic timing is very good. If he were to come to the US and study comedy with a troupe, I am sure he would learn some of the very complicated aspects of "AmericanComedy".
I can only speak from my point of view, not the entirety of the "western world." :-)
First, I have to say that even though I can't read the titles, non-western writing is so incredibly beautiful. I wish ours possessed that aesthetic.
Okay, the content. In each segment, we have essentially one man telling a story. My instinct tells me that, for westerners, the stories are somewhat flat. We tend to be attracted to extremes. Strange occurrences. Outrageous events. At least those sorts of things in this sort of format.
It was hard to tell if the stories were supposed to be funny. It would be interesting to hear from a worldwide population. I suspect there will be difficulty translating your culture to ours. What we find funny, you may find serious or commonplace. What we find serious or boring, you may find laughable.
These differences are what make the the variety of cultures on the planet so interesting. The question remains, though: Will you be offended if we laugh at the serious parts and frown at the funny ones.
Maria Laskar ......Director ,Producer /Quebec, Canada -----------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad,
I enjoyed watching your little episodes....you are a delight to watch, simple and well animated....stories are short and interesting and funny...thanks and good luck !
Mark Heartford ......Actor Film,Tv,Commericals, Theatre /UK -----------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad
Well I looked at all of them, and I think most would be OK but a view ideas you might like to think about,
When I first saw them I thought of Jackanory ( a UK Tv show back in the 70 to 90 ) of telling story with actors like Kenneth Williams (which if you can have a look at)
Now on a tech point its better to have closes up at certain point (normal at the high points of the story) for example the Veggie story when taking hair out of mouth. and a black background all the time is OK but I would have preferred to see a pictures as the story was told for example the bowl of fruit and bananas etc,
and you need to tell the story a bit slower as I did lose some of it and on the stennergraph story its 9 months not 10 but you knew that any way
and you have many diffrent characters in the storys try a diffrent voice for each one
but apart I found them very funny a different culture which i admit i dont know much about so please keep going
just some ideas if you can look at kenneth williams in jackanory it was a BBc childrens story telling show back in the 70,80's thats I think is what you need to aim for and dived up your storys into what universal, kids and adult as some might be good for a more adult audience,
Nicholas Searles .....Actor at SAG/AFTRA /New York ------------------------------------------------
Tell ya what; you are good! I can see this as a stand up routine. You have big movements which go well on stage. Usually it doesn't work on camera but I does here. If you are interacting with others, in a skit; say. you'd have to tone it down. And the only real downside is the sound quality. But you did good.
My fiancee and I watched your vignettes on youtube. You are a very good raconteur. I feel that maybe an Iranian audience might find the humor more engrossing. i thought the pieces were well executed. Your style is endearing. Keep up the good work. Shlomoh/PS: Thank you for asking my opinions.
I like your enegry, they are old school kind of video making, but good I would try and shoot with people in the community- use real life issues to make comedy.
Happy holidays and have a super year let me know if I can be any kind of service to you again!
Nicole Kian-Sadighi ........Founder and CEO at Persepolis Pictures / L.A ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
Thank you for sending your links. I watched them each.
Firstly congratulations on creating these on your own. It does have potential but I do have a couple of notes for you, which I hope would be helpful to you.
1 - At times the sound is not quite clear so we lose some of the punchlines in the sketch, which is a shame because you gone to so much trouble to write them. 2 - If you want to keep it in this format of just you sitting in a chair and telling stories, I think on its own, this kind of thing would be more suited to the stage theater rather than television. I don't see a market for it in television outside of Iran. Perhaps even at comedy shows as a stand up comedy sketch. A lot of comedians, in fact almost all of them, start their careers doing stand up comedy first. 3 - If you want to pursue the television route then you should consider doing a sketch with other actors and turning it into an actual scene. 4 - Also when you mention outside of Iran, well you are talking about the rest of world which consists of many other countries and cultures. And they each have there own sense of humour. Now I assume that because your sketch is in English then we can eliminate non english speaking countries. So we are left with USA, UK and Australia. Each of them have different types of humour in their culture. What an Australian finds funny an American may not! So you should first establish who your market is and then forward perfecting your jokes based on those.
Robert W. Smith .........Actor, AEA, SAG-AFTRA / New York ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Watched Banana and the sound is in need of work. Presently it makes it difficult to understand what is being said. The physicality of the short is great.
Ritch Shydner .........Independent Writing and Editing Professional /L.A -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Behzad, I just now saw your videos. You're a very energetic, likeable and passionate performer, but it is tough to assess any stand-up performance without an audience. I know that's the toughest thing to do these days, but you need to get in front of people. Good luck and let me know how it goes. Ritch
Bryan Paccagnella ........Partner / Creative Development at Big3 Video Agency -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad - I took a look at some of your videos - they are very touching and full of energy, along Bill Cosby lines. I think they would work well as a live show, but video is a visual medium, so the more visually engaging your video is, the better. Otherwise, people tune out.
I guess a good question to ask would be - what do you plan on doing with these videos? Where do you want to take this?
Steven Sachs ..........Professor Valley College / L.A ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Behzad, I took a look at some of your videos. They are funny and nice. Not too over-the-top. Low-impact, but that is a very good kind of comedy.
They remind me of how the comedian Bill Cosby's work, especially in his earlier, most famous years. Clean, simple life stories that everyone liked.
I think one of the best aspects of your work is that it lacks swearing, scatology, and ugliness. Although many adults (including myself, from time to time) like the more severe comedy, there is always a place for your type.
Danny Dechi ............Actor, Comedian at Screen Actors Guild-AFTRA --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
First thing: Your titles for Subway & Veggies are incorrect, and need to be switched to the corresponding videos. Your acting, expressions, and story telling are very good. The stories are interesting and humorous, but not hilarious. To be in a comedy show, your act needs more funny (which I know I'm being a bit vague), but would work in a short play.
I hope this helps. Good luck! Danny Dechi http://www.DannyDechi.com
John Kreng ......Stunt Coordinator, Fight Choreographer /Los Angeles Area ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Behzad, I think the performance was good but you really lacked any type of production value. There was no camera changes, close ups on importnat moments to emphasize importantance of that moment, etc. The background should be more colorful but not overpowering to take away from the performer.
I do not know what you want to do with it so I really do not know what to really say. I highly suggest you read books on camera angles, editing, and set design. That should be a good start.
I wish you the best of luck on your project. Sincerely, John
Nicholas Anthony Ucci......... IT/Systems/Engineer/Sales/Real Estate/Mortgage/Construction Professional, / California ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leslie Brown ............ Production Coordinator/Casting Director -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad,
Thank you for sharing your work. I don't think the American audience will respond to a memoirs type of video. It's too cerebral for our culture. We are a "show me" society. Don't "tell me".
Your sound quality is critical. It will shut doors more than you realize. Here is an article that explains why:
http://www.lightsfilmschool.com/articles/sound/index.html "The importance of sound in filmmaking: Sound & sound editing Sound is arguably on par with video as the most important element to be able to manipulate and control during production and post production. Too often filmmakers focus all of their attention on video footage and ignore the quality of their sound. Interestingly enough, audiences seem to be more annoyed by poor sound quality than by poor cinematography."
For some examples of physical comedy, with little to know dialog, refer to "The Amazing Adventures of Mr. Bean" or other work by Rowan Atkinson. He is British, but has a wide acceptance in the US.
jijoe md nor ................Producer/Creative Director at inframe productions / ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad
.. Well after watch it.. its look clean even im not really not to get the message.. but true the. content and idea.. Here i say.. keep ot up and all the best my friend.. Keep in touch man.
Ole Goethe ......Associate Professor / Creative Director / Producer / Story Developer /Norway -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
Thank you for sharing this video and it looks great :-)
Liz V. Kennedy ........ Independent Entertainment Professional / San Francisco ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad, Thank you so much for sending me the links to your show and asking about my feedback. I have to say that the stories are really great and I love the way you tell them. And it is a bit distracting when you mime props.
My performance coach has always told us that if the prop is not there don't mime that it is unless you are doing mime. I hope this feedback helps. Take care, Liz
Later in the year, I'd like to interview you for a long-form article for http://www.reellifewithjane.com/author/mshyman/ If you'd like that, please send me your email contact info.
Oussayma Canbarieh ......Owner at Symage Media /Canada -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad,
I had a look at your clips. I like the concept, it's original. The microphone could have been adjusted. Another suggestion is animations. It would have been interesting to have animations or words that pop out to emphasize your message. I hope this helps.
Philip Horváth ...........catalyst supporting new world leaders -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Behzad,
thank you for your message. Indeed a fun show, and I can tell how it would appeal to a wide TV family oriented market as a segment. Unfortunately, I am not in the world of shopping shows, but if I happen to come across someone that would be beneficial for your project, I will make sure to let you know ;-)
Robin C. Adams ....... Producer / Co-founder, WILLiFEST -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good performance, however it is imperative that you wear a small lavaliere mic or use a directional shotgun mic to record sound; sounds like this was recorded directly from the on-camera microphone.
Sam Sandora .......President at Sandora Productions. Inc. / Pittsburgh Area --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Farahat,
Thanks for sharing your video links. They are quite entertaining. You have a very nice ability to tell a story and engage your audience!! Keep up the good work! Sam
Stewart Huey .......Entrepreneur / Filmmaker ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello
Thank you for showing me this project. I enjoyed the stories, but the audio quality made it difficult to fully enjoy. The the echo & the humming of machinery or fans or maybe it was the air conditioning, bothered me alot.
John Rushton .....Director / Broadcaster at LIFE RADIO /London -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Bahzad,
I liked your videos, you have a natural talent for them, and the subject is so real too, you can almost imagine it happening... :-)
If the sound wasn't so 'hollow' it would have been better, but it was never the less very good and I wouldn't mark it down because of that...
Bill Freas ..... Film Industry Professional /Philadelphia ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Behzad,
Thanks for sharing your work with me! Great job - funny stuff here. Keep up the good work and best wishes for a prosperous 2013!
I'd be happy to give you some advice regarding your show. Since you have already shot a couple of episodes, you have a nice demo reel to pitch the show with. So I would continue to promote these episodes on your website, Facebook, YouTube, and other such sites.
Keep me updated on how things are going for you with the show. Best wishes to you and your family! Kind regards, Bill
Hans Hartman ......Filmmaker - Producer, Director, Studio Head --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know that there are many people who would think this is very funny. And for someone who is living in Iran and trying comedy for an English Speaking (mostly American) audience, you are doing a very good job of reaching across a very wide cultural gap. I will make a couple observations:
The comedian does seem to come across as somewhat feminine in his speech pattern. Not that this would keep him from being funny, just an observation.
But, the comedic timing is very good. If he were to come to the US and study comedy with a troupe, I am sure he would learn some of the very complicated aspects of "AmericanComedy".
James T. Surtees .......Owner & CEO, The Surtees Company, Inc. / California --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I found your two episodes to be quite entertaining. The monologist ( I assume yourself ) was quite good and the content both satirical and funny. The "banana" segment needs a sound remix to eliminate the echo and the sound, even on the second segment, needs to be of better quality.
Bob Paff ........Radio show Baltimore, Maryland -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your project sounds exciting and I wanted to personally reply! I have so many projects on my plate with the launch of my new book and speaking engagements all around the country. My plate was full months ago!
I do wish you the best and have no doubt this will help fulfill your dreams!
Nicholas Searles .......Actor at SAG/AFTRA New York City ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tell ya what; you are good! I can see this as a stand up routine. You have big movements which go well on stage. Usually it doesn't work on camera but I does here. If you are interacting with others, in a skit; say. you'd have to tone it down. And the only real downside is the sound quality. But you did good.
Donald Shafer ...... Vice President at TrueAmericanBusiness.com, LLC ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Behzad, Thank you for reaching out to me with your message and your links. My wife and I laughed at "I Want a Banana". I think your short videos would be a hit in both the Arabic regions and beyond. We have had a number of Arabic/Islamic broadcasters ask us for content. Your videos would be excellent for mobile devices also. Your humor appears to be universal and could have a positive impact across many cultures.
Len Grossi ........Experienced operating officer, strategist, and advisor specializing in media --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad. Thanks for sharing these episodes. I believe he is very entertaining and very good. also looks good on screen. I am not sure however what the commercial application might be unless you start this out as webisodes and hope it connects with an audience and then broden the platform for him and the concept.
Joseph Maar ..........Vice President of Programming & Production/Executive Producer at NESN -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shukran- I enjoyed very much your video. Unfortunately it does not fit the format nor genre of what we broadcast on my channel however I would like to encourage you that it is quite good and wish you the best of luck.
Marco Spagnoli ......Journalist, Movie Critic, Filmaker, Film & Television Festival Professiona l /Italy ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad Farahat
I just saw both videos and I enjoyed them. What did I just saw? Some clips from an international release of your show? I'd like to know more.
Nick Rihan ........Managing Director at Triple One Media / Sweden ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
I had a look at the show funny I liked it.
Don't get me wrong but if it was me I would include little more action like if he is standing but well it is just my point. but anyway i really like the show. Best Regards, Nick
Thomas Edward Harkins ...... Mobile Marketing Consultant at Mobile Market Creator Inc./ Brooklyn, New York ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad,
I watched the samples of your program with great interest and they definitely held my attention. My initial thoughts - aside from thinking "I can't read the credits because I ONLY read/write/speak in English!" were that the clips were very reminiscent of live theater; you employ a great deal of physical movement - or "non-verbal communication" in these sketches. Not only does this approach have a great deal in common with live theater, it also reminds me of some of our classic stand-up comedians here in the states - particularly Richard Pryor and George Carlin, whose works featured many "bits" wherein they acted out different characters and conversations.
In Marshall McLuhan's terms, the programming in these samples is very "cool" - in the McLuhan sense that the audience is required to be actively engaged in the meaning-making process. With one actor/host doing all of the improvisation against a black background and sitting in a black chair, there is a virtual "tabula rasa" for the audience members to fill in: the scenery, what the characters really look like, etc.. I think it is a very clever approach. I am not sure who, what or where your intended audience lies - or what the nature of that audience's tastes tend toward - so I can only offer my own reactions. I think it is very clever, engaging, physical and theatrical humor.
ReplyDeleteAly Jetha BigBadBoo Animation studio/ owner / Canada
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Hi Behzad,
Thank you for your email. First, I applaud you on your program.
Our genre of production is animation for children and we do not normally produce or sell into the live action market. As such, I cannot really opine on the marketability of your program to non-Iraian audiences.
There are, however, many Iranian channels in North America and Europe that may be interested in your show.
Shaw Television in Canada has a Persian channel that may be interesting for you to pursue and Tapesh TV in LA is a Persian TV station that may be of interest. There are many others, but these may be a good start.
Best of luck to you,
ReplyDeleteFloyd Norman WaltDisney Animation Studio
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Thank you for sharing, Behzad. The clips are well produced and wonderfully performed. The ideas work because the stories and humor are universal. However, so much of the media produced in the west today tends to be loud, brash and hyperactive. Western audiences might perceive the per formance as dated.
Again, I think they're very well produced and very entertaining. I'm concern about the cultural differences. Anyway, that's my take on what you've presented. In any case, Good luck.
ReplyDeleteShabnam Rezaei BigBadBoo Animation /Producer Canada
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hi Behzad Jan - I watched all your episodes. Very nice and funny. I am not sure that a Western audience would understand the cultural nuances of Iranian dailies - given our particular culture - but you never know so I encourage you to continue your great work and see where it takes you. All the best to you and good luck
ReplyDeleteBrenda Chapman......Creator & Director of "The Brave" Disney
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Bezad,
Your videos were very entertaining! I especially enjoyed the 'Banana' clip. The story seemed so relatable, and your animated gestures and voices really brought it to life!
Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing.
It was my pleasure! I am not sure that I can speak on such a broad matter, like as to whether or not the Western culture will like and understand the episodes. Personally, I thought they were great though!
Best,Brenda
Behzad,
ReplyDeleteBob Alper.........Rabbi/Stand-Up Comic
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Hi Behzad,
I watched a couple of the clips.
The actor is terrific, very inventive, and clever. For example, the way he
held his own shirt, imitating his daughter pulling him. That's unique.
I don't think it would make it in the US. Most comedies, and comedians, try
for the maximum number of laughs per minute, while your comedy builds and
builds without intermittent laughter. Kind of what we call a "shaggy dog
story." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story). If you access
my demo on the opening page of www.bobalper.com you'll see that I try for a
laugh at least every 10 or 12 seconds.
Kind of figured the actor might have been you...!
I think your command of English and your delivery are fine, even impressive. There are plenty of comedians in the US with thicker accents.
Just to experiment, perhaps you could memorize, or just read, some monologues by great comedians like Bob Newhart, and get the feel of multiple laughs per minute. Also, listen to Lewis Black or Jerry Seinfeld or even me (demo is at www.bobalper.com) with a stopwatch, and see how much time goes by between each laugh. Sometimes it's a matter of a few seconds.
I hope this is helpful! Sorry to be so negative...Best of luck, Bob
ReplyDeletePat Condell........Stand up comedian
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I think it would be received very well, Behzad. You're a good performer and you bring the anecdotes to life very well. I think a show like this might do well at the Edinburgh Fringe or Off Broadway. I've added Sonography to my favorites on YouTube. I hope it helps to get you some exposure.
No. Your English is very good and you speak very clearly.
I intentionally left some words in Persian, do they cause any problems understanding the whole story ? No. I was able to follow perfectly well.
Do Western people have problem that these stories are not making them laugh in every 10 seconds ?( like a standard Stand up )
This isn't stand-up. It wouldn't work in a comedy club. It belongs in a small intimate theatre where the audience doesn't expect a succession of punchlines.
I have been told these stories are "Shaggy dog stories" is this a criticize or a kind of style ?
A shaggy dog story is a long boring story that goes on and on without coming to a climax. Your stories are concise are entertaining. I would describe them as humorous anecdotes.
I wish you the best of luck with them, and I hope the show is a success.
ReplyDeleteScott Capurro.........Stand up comedian /U.K
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Hey Behzad,
Thanks so much for sending your work. It's really charming and funny, and your images are clear and precise.I think it would work fine with a western crowd.
Your style and accent seem fine. But then I live in London.are you thinking of going to the US? Where were you thinking of performing?
I think the stories would work, but you might find a Western director who can guide your structure a bit, if that's your concern.
there are lots of Fringe festivals here in the UK and Canada, where you can reveal your work to a supportive audience. Edinburgh Fringe is good. It's expensive, but you'll be seen by lots of industry people as well.
Soho Theatre in London is a great venue. You might give them a call.
Take care and good luck.
Scott xx
Justin Wakefield........Concept Artist at Disney
ReplyDelete------------------------------------------------
Hey Behzad...
actually it was great... I liked it...
... reminds me a little of Mr. Bean...
stylistically it's a bit different from what we're used to seeing our here... but that's only based on my own experience... but it's funny.... I think you'll get a broader audience than you think...
I like the way it plays like you're having a conversation with me (your audience)... and the comfortable way it feels so casual... it doesn't feel forced.. I mean it doesn't play like you're TRYING to be funny... you just so happen to be telling funny stories in a funny way...but one thing... and this is just an opinion...
Please forgive me if my criticism sounds rude...I am uncertain of your character's perspective or orientation... Not that it should matter... but there are certain mannerisms that are somewhat effeminate... but they're not strong enough to make a statement... I think your character should be MORE of whatever you decide to make him to be... like a caricature.... as opposed to a portrait...not necessarily sissy like... just kind of ambiguous...for your character to be strong just chose what you want to say about him... perhaps even MORE sissy like if that's the term...a bitter gossipy older gay man... is way more funny than an average guy talking about average things...but push something... and PUSH it further...especially if you make him contradict himself...like if he's bitter old gay gossip... then he's also bigoted anti gay conservative... who hates gossips...
( or something like that... ) a bad chef who thinks he's god's gift to the cullinary world... stuff like that...and the conflict that dynamic creates... how far can that be pushed...? think soup nazzi from Seinfeld....
(american show..)
From my perspective your accent is more of something that's part of your character... kinda like many of our actors who come from china (jackie chan) or austraillia (mel gibson) or wherever... their accents are part of their character...
There are as many types of comedy and delivery as there are people who like comedy... your style has an audience...
I think you're good... you're a good writer.. and you're on your way...keep it moving... you guys are gonna do something cool!!!
ReplyDeleteWilliam Bradford............Animator / Canada
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Hey Behz.
Hmmmmm it's hard to tell what to suggest. I think i get what you're going for: just telling amusing anticdotes without too much flash or pretense. I think the trouble is, either your stories aren't amusing enough, or your delivery of them isn't amusing enough. The punchlines or the payoffs seem to get lost. Maybe watch more stand up comics and practice good basic delivery or timing, i think
ReplyDeleteBianca Ozawa............Animator /Canada
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Hi Behzad!
I was actually impressed. I think you've chosen themes that are kinda universal. So I understood it all. Liked the pace also because the comedy in north America is so fast paced I sometimes miss the joke. I like how you made it almost visual with the acting.
let me know how the comedy goes. best wishes, Biancca
Franck Herouard............Animation table merchandize
ReplyDelete-------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Mr Farahat,
I watched 3 of your short stories. I am not sure to be the right person to help you as I am not involved anymore in the tv production industry. But I did appreciate your acting, with roundness. I think the character (who is really interesting) could be more designed to be seen on a tv occidental screen... An object, like your chair, could change the mood and could be a strong and colorful element (more televisual than scenic)... The framing that cuts a the knee is quite weird. I don't like your socks that always appear in the foreground... But in "The Hair" the position is more interesting (someone at home instead of an actor ?)...
Hope it will make sense. Best Regards/Franck Herouard
ReplyDeleteTim Dorian...........Actor-Writer
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Nice looking at your work but to attract an American audience you're going to have to continue sending it out and having it viewed to fine tune it and make them more appealing.
You seem like a nice person but Tangerine I did not like for the subject matter. I have one child who is now 21 and since becoming a father I've developed an appreciation for all children and so the thought of a child choking gets me upset and is in no way funny to me. There are however many people who might find it amusing in some way.
Next you should place a little more explaining about the subjects you are making fun of. I found some of your skits a bit lost in translation. Since you want to approach the American market you should have the titles in dual language so this market knows what they say. Considering the ignorance of the world in general and the current suspicion between our cultures I believe you have a wonderful idea of bridging the gap through humor.
You just have to work the audience to find what this side of the world would find entertaining. I'm going to watch them again and see what some other of my friends think.
Try and find someone over your way to possible fine tune and write some material with you. The key is in testing your material until you find what works. You might also concentrate on your 'character' as being the selling point to the humor. You might even incorporate the very differences in our cultures as the focus of the humor. That itself can be extremely funny. I'll get back to you. In the meantime, if you'd like to friend me go right ahead and if you can't just let me know and I'll 'friend' you. This way I can ask some friends to watch your material to get their opinions. This does sound like fun.
ReplyDeleteTodd Glass............standup comedian /U.S
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Hello hello hello I was only able to watch one of them but I thought it was very enjoyable and I'll so really enjoyed the opening… For what that's worth… I'm talking about the musical opening the intro to the show…
Anyway good luck and thank you for the email
ReplyDeleteKyle Marshall........Animation Director
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Hey Behzad,
So I watched the pieces you had suggested, and have a number of thoughts. Firstly, I really enjoyed them, although I really have no idea how hey would be received in western culture. It really depends on what audience you are looking for, and where you would hope to get
the series picked up, if that is what you are looking to do.
So a run through on my thoughts on the pieces from your FB:
- One of the things I really liked, was personal ,in that it was great to see you telling a story like you did when we used to spend Saturday's drawing and walking for groceries. Brought back a lot of those memories. But, and audience that doesn't know you, wouldn't have those same memories and nostalgia of watching the film, HA, so this
comment doesn't really count.
- All your acting, expressions, etc are great. Your english is very good, and understandable. But the sound quality was poor, and seeing
as the project relies so heavily on the sound and your acting, you will want to make sure the sound quality is top notch. For example, at times when you talk very loudly, or yell, the sound cracks.
Honestly, other than those two comments I have nothing. The market you want to hit will be the big thing. I'm not sure how much content is out there online and TV in Iran or the countries in the region, but there is so much stuff coming out of North America, a creator needs to
know their market and how to hit it, or also they just need to know how to market their idea.
What is the goal for the project? When do you release more?
Thanks for the email,Kyle
ReplyDeleteOmar Aziz...........acting student/ Egypt
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That is pretty good . I think it was pretty with your talent i laughed for it . Tell me is it show on TV or YouTube only ??
ReplyDeleteMonica Lewis..........Author of "HOLLYWOOD THROUGH MY EYES"
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Dear Behzad:
"Thank you for sharing your video links with me. I found them offbeat and amusing, even if I did not always understand the humor in them. I am not sure if people in Western cultures will generally enjoy them, but I wish you luck with your project, just the same. Sincerely, Monica Lewis"
Best regards,
ReplyDeleteShahnawaz Shudhi..........animation , Bangladesh
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Dear Mr Farhat
Short comedy episode is well excepted by all over the world. Important think is to carry out the situation through the body language & voice acting, I think you did well enough in your acting. I really liked your acting "timing". You have a special gift of acting which is deadly required in Our Animation Film Industry. You are a valuable asset for Iranian animation Industry.
Thx for sharing your thought.Shudhi.
ReplyDeleteJane Berliner..........
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I am not sure why I am watching them, but they are unique, not really my taste however.
Jane
ReplyDeleteKhodadad Diba..........Animation.Dept Vancouver/Canada
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Salam Behzad jan,
I enjoyed watching your clips, they were entertaining. I know some people at my work that they follow this type of talk shows and can get their feed back if you want. I never watched or listened to any kind of talk show therefor I can't give you much of an opinion on this,
all I can say is that it was entertaining, the one with the sonography was funny , but I guess people who know how things work in Iran understand it better.
ghorbanat/Khodadad
ReplyDeleteKimberly M Zamlich.....Freelace Artist U.S
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The problem I have is that these stories are not as entertaining as they could be. My advice to you would be to watch some of the great story tellers of our western culture such as Jeff Foxworthy, Robin Williams, Bill Cosby. After watching these guys, imagine how they would tell your stories. How can you make your stories unique or unforgettable, or poignant etc. Be clear on what you are trying to convey: is it humor, tragedy, whimsy, etc. There has to be a beginning, middle, end. And ask yourself, Why would I want to watch this? I hope this helps..
ReplyDeletePaula Poundstone
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Hello Behzad,
Thank you for sending samples of your comedy show to Paula. She can not read everything that comes in so we in the Mail Room will be sure to mention it to her.
You are a very talented storyteller and your style of comedy will probably translate well to other cultures. Certainly the world needs more laughter.
We wish you all the best with your TV show and all future endeavors.
Regards,The Mail Room Staff
Julia Modi .........actress/producer/director
ReplyDeleteHi Behzad Farahat,
I really enjoyed your acting on youtube.
The stories would be wonderful out here, my questions are:
1. Is the show a one person narrating everything type of show?
2. Are you actually going to have other actors on set while the narration goes on?
3. Will you have props in the show?
It was great to hear from you too.You are welcome, I am always open to help others whenever I can.
Your English accent is great, I understood every word you said.
To answer your question, your show is great and it would make a great show out here because it reminds me of stand up comedy.
Good luck on everything, you are on the right track.
Best,Julia
ReplyDeleteTeodora Petrova.........Singer/Bulgaria
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He is very artistic :)) Well,keep on doing it. Where do you want to show the stories-internet ?.....
As I can see, you want to do the show for the west audience and to introduce us with your humour. I really think you do it well and you cope well with the fast active style. We can understand the things you say.
Wish you all the best with the project!
Suzie Hardgrave .......Director, Theatremaker, Actor and Acting Tutor
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Okay Behzad
I'm not sure about the style of comedy - it's dry, camp and childlike.
There were two I watched, and to be true to myself, and you, I don't wish to watch anymore. It doesn't appeal to the social humour I find funny, or the humanist side of life which is Universally funny.
I take only the responsibility for my own feedback though.You may want to keep sending it, and asking others for more comprehensive and varied feedback.
Best of luck with it all,
Karin De Ponti......actress-performer/Italy
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HI.NICE TO MEET YOU!
THEY ARE VERY FUNNY. IT REMINDS ME A BIT OF WOODY ALLEN, DOESN'T IT?! ;)
YOUR ACCENT IS GOOD.
ITALY IS THE HOMELAND OF COMEDY (TOTò. EDUARDO DE FILIPPO). COMEDY HERE IS MORE LAUGH ORIENTED. YOUR COMEDY I THINK IS LIKE THE ENGLISH HUMOR. IT IS GOOD BECAUSE IS CLEAN AND KIDS ORIENTED, NO VULGARITY AT ALL.
MAYBE (MY HUMBLE ADVICE) YOU COULD THINK ALSO TO OTHER COMEDY STORIES WHAT I MEAN IS WORKING ON ANOTHER KIND OF HUMOR BECAUSE MAYBE IT COULD NOT BE UNDERSTOOD. ANYWAY YOU SHOULD TRY WITH THIS OF COURSE BECAUSE IT IS DIFFERENT!
I HOPE MY ADVICE COULD BE HELPFUL FOR YOU!
BEST, ARIN
Tim Ferguson......Exec Producer,Screenwriter/Australia
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Hi Behzad,
Wow, a very amusing collection of clips!
Your performance is highly engaging, heartfelt and funny.
Your stories translate perfectly well (there are some sticky situations with universal appeal).
Go for it!
You are distinctive, and it's always good to stand out from the crowd!
I had no problem with your accent at all, it's very clear.
The material could do with a few more gags, but they'll come in time as you work with audiences. (Or you can save a lot of trial & error time by using the principles set out in my book).
Over all, the questions you ask all have positive go-for-it answers.
Thanks for send the links through, Behzad, I had a great giggle.
Best of luck with your show.
Regards,
Tim
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ReplyDeleteLeilah Farahat.........Lawyer/Australia
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I just had a look at the first two. You can count on my honest opinion if it helps you.
Tangerine - I don't really understand why you were in a "cab" with a mother and child - did you mean a bus?
I absolutely loved "Sonography" - I laughed out loud when I watched it, brilliant story-telling Behzad, very entertaining. I also really like the music introduction. Who do you think would be your audience? It's an adult theme - are you intending on doing live stage performances? I w ill watch the others and let you know my thoughts.
I understood your english fine
Zipper - Firstly, I wouldn't call it zipper because as soon as you start the story I already know what the problem is - it's the zipper. So maybe call it something else which doesn't give away the story. Otherwise, I really enjoyed watching you. When he goes to hit you, maybe you should scream out loud to make it more dramatic....
Hair - again I wouldn't call it "hair" because it gives tooo much away. If you are aiming at western audiences I would mention names of western dishes not iranian as we cannot relate to gorma sabzi etc. Instead of mosque, say "takeaway" instead and so on. I really enjoyed it - brilliant!
Banana - very good. The iranian drink you mentioned, westerners won't understand that.
CeciliaLayus.......improvisational theatre, clowning,
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Hello Behzad,
I have just seen your videos. At first I had a hard time understading them, mainly because of a cultural barrier. I do see the humor in them, but I don´t find them humorous. I´m going to give you some technical advice that you can modify to make it easier for me (at least) to understand.
-You are at the side of the camera, I think you should be in the center.
-I think you should stand-up.
-when you talk to the characters you should talk to the camera. It looks like you place the characters at your side, making you speak to your side. Thats distracting, and the audience misses your face expressions. You see, if you are talking to characters that are at your side, even if they are imaginary, you may loose our attention (as viewers, we want the actor to speak to us).
-Sound: It would be a good idea to record the sound with a clip-on microphone and then replace the videocamera audio with the audio you record. the audio that the videocamera records sounds far, and makes it difficult to follow the narrative.
If you work on those technical issues your videos may be better understood by western culture, without loosing their identity, which I think its very important for them to have.
Regars,Cecilia
Samer Chidiac....... Senior Marketing & Technology Strategist/Lebanon
ReplyDelete----------------------------------------------
Hi Behzad,
I went through the links you sent me, and i also clicked through the ones that you did in persian; I'm not much into your type of comedy but here's some general thoughts:
1- The quality of production is better in your persian versian than in your english one, especially Audio (it has more noise in the english version)
2- You may need to work more on your english accent, as people would evaluate how "Funny" the episode is, bu the degree they are understanding the Jokes in addition to "NOT FINDING" some of the terms Too Ironic. In Addition to the perception of "Not Being Natural"
3- Since the episode is too simple with just you and a black background (which in my opinion is too Dark for a Family Comedy show vs Comedy in general) you can include some terms that appear in White or in grey shown on the screen next to you to assist the audience in Keeping up with you.
My Final comments, Your show is Different and have a good potential if you find the right people watching it... And Based on my note, the persian version was more successful in terms of viewership and feedback.
Best regards,SC
Mark ............actor /United States
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Behzad...many thanks for reaching out. Very much enjoyed 'Zipper'...primarily because it is so universal. For me 'Tangerine' was a little more difficult to follow. Western audiences are notoriously short on attention span so your three minute format is perfect.
I personally enjoy simple story-telling versus special effects...I applaud your use of simple black background. From a technical standpoint the audio prevented me from getting every word. Not sure if you used a body mike. If not, it might make it easier for the viewer to be clear on each word.
I wish you success on the longer format.
please keep me posted. Cheers, Mark
ReplyDeleteSandra Risser............Stand-up Comic
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I'm not the best person to ask as I have a slight hearing loss which makes it very difficult for me to understand English that is not American English.
From what I could understand, I found the stories delightful. Best of success with them.
Yasin Hazar........Actor/Turkey
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I wish you continued success very successful, good work ....
Greetings to the people of Iran ...
Yasin Hazar
John Koutselinis......Film Music Composer /U.K
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It's creative work indeed,
Keep it up my friend
I found the accent not to be a problem. The storytelling was funny and coherent.
It's a job very well done.
I hope this helps, All the very best .John
Mark
ReplyDelete-----------------------------------------
The packaging of the shorts is nice: titles and the music. The stories themselves (I sat through a few) are okay, though they lean towards the Iranian idiom/culture.
The big issue is going to be the performer, whose overly broad acting is not a good fit for video. (I'm not sure whether his acting would be better in live performance.) If he's a producer, he may want to try to finding another actor that people respond to better.
(People--westerners at that--are leaving bad comments on at least one of his videos.) Sorry for not having a better report.
NO name
ReplyDelete--------------------------------------------
I agree with Mark about the actor and while the videos seem to be well produced I feel as though I was missing something about these stories.
Not knowing much about the Iranian culture could have been an issue.Also the later videos have many fewer views than the earlier ones, seems to be very telling.
Chawnaw Hershel Kahn............Publisher + Author /New York
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Dear Behzad,
Your portrail was good, but I am sorry the comedy needs work. Dialogue does not work as well as action in a story line like this.
Good luck! All the best, Chawnaw
Marshelle Woodland......CEO/FOUNDER of MIDWEST SHOW ME FUNNY ENT/ U.S
ReplyDelete-------------------------------------------
Thank you, Sir. I'm doing well. I did enjoy your performance. Thank you for sharing. Keep up with us. We're working on budgets for a play and screen play.
Behzad, I did understand you. I am a very open minded individual. First, I'm sure you understand that comedy is Comedy. Second, if you are happy with your style of comedy I'm sure many others will too. Now :-) OL
Jay Abdo........Actor at RPM Talent Agency California / Syria
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I think this is great, you are so talented, fast shifting and controlling. people in the west like this, they are thirsty to other cultures
The western Audience don't like to make effort's, so would like to follow something they know. If you give them something new you have to be among them and offer topics related to both of you & them.
Good job /Jay
Gregory Joseph .......Campaign Manager at Mark Alexander for State Senate
ReplyDelete---------------------------------------------
Hello Sir:
Thank you for sending me your video. I appreciate you thinking of me. I'm not going to tell you details on your material. I believe if you find your material is funny, you will find an audience that feels the same.
One thing I would keep in mind, Western audiences are not all the same. The U.S. Is big, diverse country. What may be funny to a New Yorker may not be funny to someone who lives in Texas. Please keep this in mind as you market yourself to the West.
Also, I would try to make the language as universal as possible. What may be common phrasing for you India may be foreign to us. In addition, if you must use natural phrasing try a humorous way to translate it or relate it to a US audience. For example, in India you use curry like we in the US use sugar or guns.
I have a friend who is India right now. I will forward your videos to her as well.
We are celebrating a holiday of giving thanks today in the US. I hope this email finds you in peace and grateful in knowledge that by your message and videos, you are helping make the world a smaller place.
ReplyDeletePAOLO CAMMISULI.......Actor / Italy
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O.k, no problem,....well it was Pretty Good, but I would work more on the rhythms, comedy is all a matter of rhythms
I think you need to work more about script, rhythm of the beat, it is difficult to explain in few words. Just have a look at Bill Cosby Comedies on youtube and you will understand.
Good luck,...you can do that in the right way ,... for sure
Mary Gulivindala.........Freelance Comedy Writer wellnesscoaching.com
ReplyDelete------------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad,
I watched all the videos. Your question of how they will be received in the west would be fine. The question is where do you want to pitch them and in what format.
I married into a family from South India. I am familiar with that culture intimately. The significance of "materialism" in Banana, and the hair in Veggie things resonate deeper with me than someone not familiar with the culture. Point being I get it at a different level than your typical Westerner. Across the board, anyone will get your work.
You did not ask for my opinion regarding you material but pardon my unsolicited comment. In "Tangerine", I wanted the little girl to spit out an eraser.
Here is my friends contact info. Check out his center in LA. There could be a collaboration opportunity for you both.
--
Jordan Elgrably
Executive Director
Beirutlosangeles.org
Freedom Theatre West
DO YOU KNOW OF SPALDING GRAY? GOOGLE HIM. Here is a link to one of his videos: http://youtu.be/PCGmra0eFQk
Thanks for the inspiration. There are no coincidences.
I love the tugging on the shirt. I wanted the story to continue. What happend, was the child reprimanded? Did everyone laugh, will your family be gossiped about when you leave? I also like the set, Black chair? black stage? It works.
Sincerely, Mary Gulivindala /1Real Girl Writer
ReplyDeleteRatnakant Mhatre........Actor at Asharatna Arts /India
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Very nice,, really It is great comedy show.good going .please continue ,,,
ReplyDeleteBryan Cox ..........President at Cox Marketing and Owner, Saskatchewan,Canada
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I'm honoured that you reached out. I could see this as a "one man show" You are an actor and storyteller and a fun one to watch at that! I'm not sure where you live but in North America we have "Fringe Festivals" This would be the venue for your act for sure. I have to say, this kind of act wouldn't be right for the "stand-up" stage.
Behzad, you are very talented and please stay in touch my friend .Bryan Cox
Jim Jermanok .......Film Writer, Director and Producer. (an award-winning writer) New York
ReplyDelete----------------------------------------------
I saw Banana and Zipper. The actor is sweet, perhaps too sweet. He mispronounces a few words. The biggest problem is the writing. Very silly and not funny enough.
As a comedy writer-director, I am very critical. I'm sorry, but this is my honest opinion.
Of course I am very locked into a Western perspective, but I have been to 75 countries and lived in 5 of them including Turkey.
I found your work similar to children's theater here in the US. It is not very complex and does not really have a beginning, middle and end--which bothered me. I also thought it could be more funny.
Just my humble opinion. Kindest regards, jim
ReplyDeleteJohn Aguirre .........Day Productions, Producer /U.S
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Behzad,Although you're presentation and execution of the material is enthusiastic,
I think you should re-think your material. A choking baby is a tough sell in any "comedy" or "family" market when it comes to entertainment. Perhaps you could find lighter fair to start with.
ReplyDeleteEDWIN TOOLIS ...... /Chicago
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No problem with a "westerner" getting your stuff. (I'm always amazed when someone speaks such great English, when I can't. And here in a Chicago suburb, I'm surrounded my Spanish and Arabic.)
Tangerine: Since I kid could have died, I think that kills the humor.
Sonography: Like this the best. A comic world, a good opposition that's comical, an uphill struggle, a good capper.
Zipper: a good comic situation, but to me, could use more exploration. Needs to be more embarrassing to the point-of view character. Just trying one way or another, trying to get the point across
Hair: This does nothing for me. I think the structure is off. Sketch structure is a want( usually comic), a comic opposition, and escalation of conflict, which raises the stakes, and take the POV character further into the comic world, the comflict is brought to a climax, and finally a capper or twist ( which needs to be unexpected)
Banana: Not real conflict, consequences. The real problem is that a conflict must be "life threatening," which doesn't have to be physical. There are no consequences for the POV character.
ReplyDeleteMel Mills ........ACTOR / SELF EMPLOYED PERFORMING ARTS
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Hi,
No problem. From a critical viewpoint, the sound issues put me off watching for long, also the presenter moves around too much - too animated for my own liking.
I would also add that it is not my kind of humor - so sorry about that, but hope the feedback is useful to you.
As a thought, you may wish to take a look at some old footage of Ronnie Corbett who used to do a sketch from a chair as part of a larger comedy show on Primetime BBC TV years ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjaDtj19PNc
The comedy aspect is noticeable at once because of the relationship of the chair size to his own stature.
His comedic timing is impeccable Filmed in front of a 'Live' audience (Not canned laughter) this tells the listener when to laugh ;-)
Eye contact is maintained almost throughout entire sketch He 'Leans; in to camera - this makes it more personal. . as if he is addressing you in person (Old trick which works every time to engage others attention.He has a comic 'Look' also, which helps hugely
Hope these points are of interest to you also (There are a host of his sketches on Youtube and most would still get prime time viewing today if they were fresh)
Best,Mel
Jerry Miner .....comedian at standupformissions.com /Seattle
ReplyDelete-----------------------------------------------
Hey Behzad,
What are you trying to accomplish with these videos? Are you working on a theater production , stand-up routine(s), TV shows, webi-sode? Are you looking to provide content for family non profits or children's programming? Pre-school?
Not sure I can speak for all of western culture.
I can tell you if I think it's funny and where I would take it if it were me. But then, that would be just an opinion. Do you know what i mean?
Is English your first language? If not, what is your first language? Where did you grow up and where do you live now?
This may sound a bit vague and you have probably heard it before, so forgive me if I am repeating, but you need to figure out who exactly you're targeting. If it's children's theater it would be pointless to get a bunch of "feedback" from stand-ups. Most tend to be dirty and have no patience for anyone that can't further their career.
It feels like a theater piece. Like a work shop. How long have you been at this? How many times have you performed the five monologues? How often do you perform...these and others?
It doesn't feel polished, so I wouldn't put it in front of a bunch of paying customers. In a year you might just blow the doors off a place.
It's hard to get an idea of you, how hard you work and your goal from five short videos.
I wish you the best. Show business is the only business where they can't kick you out. Just keep doing it.
If you have any questions feel free to drop me a line and I will do my best to be helpful.
You are correct in your understanding of the generalities of the medium.(Eastern vs Westen) I did watch all five episodes. After the first one I could predict your punchline. But I have also been a comedian and writer for 27 years. More importantly, I am a fan and student of stand up comedy, one man shows and spoken word. That said...
If I were presented with these five shorts and asked for my help, I could certainly critically pare down the scripts for maximum impact as well as shape the performance. But it is not my project and I have not been hired to do so.
Three minutes with one partial laugh at the end is not gong to keep anyone's attention. In stand up comedy there needs to be a laugh every fifteen to twenty seconds, otherwise it's not going to fly. They way you're presenting the stories leaves me wanting to know more about the show. On their own, to me, I was unfulfilled.
I have worked with master story teller Bill Cosby and even he manages to squeeze every morsel of humor into his stories, which are much like yours, derived from every day situations. If you haven't done so, watch or better yet, listen to some Bill Cosby. It may help or at the least, you may laugh.
Anything can be appealing, it just matters how it's packaged and delivered.
So tell me, where do you live now and what are the languages you are most comfortable with?
Happy Thanksgiving! Jerry
Dan Nainan ........Professional Comedian / New York
ReplyDelete--------------------------------------------
greetings, great to hear from you. I think this would be very well received in an off-Broadway sitting in New York City, certainly.
ReplyDeleteQuinton Barr .......Actor & Voice over Actor B.C,Canada
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I watched the first one and it did not look like a show? it looked like a low budget demo reel. I liked the energy But... I could not understand what he was talking about. His accent was off for being natural. From time to time i understood a little of the story i wish i could have learned more of what the story was about. Maybe you should hire a Actor from Canada or the US? i hope this helps i dont no exactly what you are looking for from me but please ask away if you have any more questions.
ReplyDeleteDonna Harris ........Marketing and Visual Anthropologist
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Thank you Behzad.
Thank you for sending me the clips. I watched them and my take away is, we are all the same all over the world. Where do you perform the experimental show?
In regards to your questions...Yes,I definitely see the universal connection of the subject matter.The answer sort of depends on your target audience. Will it be Easterners who were born in the West? Or are you looking for a multi-cultural audience.
My personal style and one that professional motivational speakers use for story telling is 1) Start out with big laughs 2 ) make them cry 3) make them think and 4) leave them laughing. That is a formula that seems to work.
Your material is something that everyone can relate to however, as you stated, it is not stand-up comedy for an Western audience. If you want to convert it to a stand-up routine, it would need to be totally re-written. In all honesty, it needs to be much funnier, even for the east, I think. It feels like you are holding back.
Take care and hope that helps you.
Sincerest regards, Donna
Vesela Kotopanova ......Push Pull Production /Bulgaria
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Hi Behzad,
You are actually doing a really good job. I'll be honest though, I don't feel like you'll be able to sell this type of show out here.
Vesela
Arik Schenkler.........Chief,author /Israel
ReplyDelete-----------------------------------------------
Behzad hi (shalom),
I saw the "Banana" – it is great! Funny and delivered greatly.
I saw "Sonography"–it is great and very funny.
I saw on the Subway – again funny and great.
I saw Hair and it is great and funny.
I saw Tangerine – Funny.
If you wish to address foreign people just make the credits in English.
All videos, in my opinion, are edited greatly, short, to the point and presented greatly.
I love your humor.
If we can do something together to increase our marketing let me know. My activity is on my site – http://www.AriksWorld.com
Are you from Iran? This might be a problem ..
I prefer this kind of humor, which is not "active" and more calm and relaxed. I think that you submit your material nicely and your accent does not show.
I can't say about US culture. I can say that I like what I see!
All the best, Arik
NinfaPerez......Talent/ActorLosAngeles, California Entertainment
ReplyDeleteI Love the hand expressions! makes the story a life, and the chair is great for this topic!!!
I have seen your shows!!! I love them all, you are very creative indeed. I liked the fact of using a chair in during your monologues, it works great for motion picture!! And the using of your hands expressions,are fantastic! really brings to life the story.
I Love them, keep up the great job,I hope to meet you someday!!! :)
Great Job. :)
Brian Haley ........songwriter and musician
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Dear Behzad,
I am happy to provide some feedback for you and your videos. Please keep in mind that I am not a performance expert. I am a songwriter and musician primarily, and performer lastly.
To start with, I'm not quite sure what the purpose of your performance is. Also, is it meant for an adult audience or for children? This is not clear because of your acting style.
If it is meant for a Western adult audience, my guess is that it is not going to reach a very wide audience. However, I believe if you fine tuned your performances' specifically for children then you might have some luck.
I'm certainly not an expert in 'experimental' type video, but I do have a good sense of what works and what doesn't.
If you really want to make a living performing, I would strongly suggest pursuing children's theater or shows of some kind. You have a whimsical engaging style that I believe children would find interesting. Furthermore, I would suggest that you carefully study as many performers as you can that perform for children. Watch Sesame Street, or Pee Wee Herman, Mr. Dress up, etc., etc. I believe is you do your homework, so to speak, then you may have a chance at performing for children.
Please understand, I don't say this in a disparaging way. I say it because you asked for feedback, and this is what I am seeing as I watch you on video.
All the best,Brian
ReplyDeleteMaray Ayres........Actor/Producer Film .Theatre /Los Angeles,
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You are adorable and I love your material. I would like to see you move around besides just sitting on the floor. Try it. But I DO love your presence and keep it up. Bless you....
I read the comments. Just consider them and then keep on doing what you are doing with your art. Everyone has an opinion. Just keep on perfecting and trying new ways and new things with what you do. Don't let anyone discourage you. maray ayres
ReplyDeleteNeil Schell .......Executive Producer, Director,Actor /Vancouver, Canada
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Hi Behzad,
Well, I watched Banana. It's sort of funny but not that funny. What you are doing is more of Standup Comedy. And, you guessed it, our comedians stand up when they do skits that are similar.
The set up for a joke like this would be more personal too. Like, "One day our family went to my wife's brother's house. This guy... rich! Opulent rich - crystal, gold, antiques... things you wouldn't want our three kids to get within a mile or two of in case they decided to play trapeze with the chandeliers." Something like that - I'm not saying what I wrote is funny, I am just saying that if you make it more like a story that did happen it's more of what we are used to hearing from comedians. And it is very important to have a live audience. Laughter is contagious so when you get a live audience laughing the viewers tend to laugh more too.
I liked the pace, especially when the daughter was asking for the banana. The punch line worked pretty good as the audience was expecting it but it could still hit harder.
It has potential.
They are all valid points (comments)- not sure about the "severe cultural barrier " part but there is a slight one that is easily overcome. I didn't find the accent difficult the understand. An American might.
N
ReplyDeleteVéronique Robert.....Author / Screenwriter
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Good afternoon,
Thank you for sharing with me your videos. I'm honored. I'm not an expert on the field, but I like the content. The short stories were funny and light.
I would maybe choose to have a very short "Intro" to the clip. Maybe something lively filmed in the streets, house, around the family , etc. Then Fade to black to add the title of the episode and Fade to the clip. It's more work, more editing, but would make it more "alive".
The fact that he's sitting telling his story is interesting. Try and get a muffler around your mike to muffle the sound; it’s a bit "Crisp and Sharp".
I hope this is the type on comments you were looking for.Best of luck and keep an open mind.
Best of luck, V
ReplyDeleteTahmineh Sarbazzadeh........Character Designer, Animator,/Canada
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Honestly... it's not catchy over here.
Best Wishes
ReplyDeleteHani Tahouf ........Director Of Business Development -
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Hi Behzad,
Thank you for the links, and I've seen them. Personally, I'm looking for comedy content for the Arab market that can be dubbed into Arabic.
My impression was that the content was a full fledged comedy series production, in Iranian, that can be dubbed for the Arab TV market, reflecting the day to day social life of an Iranian family.
I liked what you have produced, however it is too simple a tv format to be able to take it to the Middle East market.
I hope you appreciate my concern and if you have other similar content to what I was looking for, or can help me find such formats then I will gladly discuss and see how it fits in.
Warm Regards, Hani
ReplyDeleteTzahalla Kessari.......DIVORCIFICATION New York
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Hi Behzad!
First of all, thank you for letting me watch your episodes, it was very trusting of you and I appreciate it.
Second, I liked the content of the overall skits, though there is room for improvement. Most of the material applies to all cultures (nagging children, bossy wives, "unhappy" accidents).
I think it should be well accepted.
Best regards, Tzahalla
ReplyDeleteNicole Marie Stultz ........Actress /New York
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Hi,
I took a look at the thinks you gave me, and I must say I laughed at all of them. You have a good sense of humor, and I could see why you want to do comedy. I would suggest just speaking more clearly, some parts where hard to understand. Other then that, keep at what you are doing.
Reading the comments I can agree on some of them and they are:
The accent is not understandable (some of the time, not all)
slow rhythm (comedy is fast past, check out Steve Harvey, Cedric The Entertainer, etc.)
The acting is unnatural and too animated (Acting in general is very natural as is everyday life. When you act, you have to act like you would in real life. It's all about being as natural as can be, so it's believable.)
What I would suggest is that to watch some American comedians and see how they work on stage. Maybe you can get a better understanding of comedy sketches.
However, don't give up, and don't let people's comments get to you too much. Just look at them as things that you need to work on. That will benefit you in the long run. Sometimes I get negative comments for my acting and for my writing, but I look at them as all good, and I process it and apply it, and things end up working out for the best. So I am sure they will for you too. Take care. Nicole
Maureen Bolog ............Owner,Actor's Craft Greater Chicago
ReplyDelete---------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad Farahat,
I enjoyed your comedies. You have wonderful physical work and engaging stories. You have a very likable presence.
From an acting perspective, I suggest that you PERSONALIZE the person to whom you are telling the story. Also know WHY you are telling this person the particular story. In acting, we talk about Scene Objective. What am I trying to do in this scene? Choose an objective that requires RECIPROCAL action. Your communication is not complete until you "check-in" with the other character (in this case your substitution for "audience") and see if they are giving you what you need. Use transitive verbs which require reciprocal action.
Example: You are "being funny." This is not reciprocal action. Think in terms of "Make Aunt Mary laugh." Use a person you know as a substitute for "audience". Check into see if Aunt Mary is laughing or smiling. Let that "trigger" your next part of the story you are telling Aunt Mary. (Of course, it is a camera and not Aunt Mary.)
Example: In Banana, why are you telling the story? Perhaps your friend, Tom, was telling you about how much mischief his sons were getting into - and how you are lucky to have daughters who are so well mannered. Now you can "Make Tom see my daughters keep me on my toes!"
I don't believe you are actually talking to me - but a direct gaze into the camera indicates that is your intent. You don't see me. So personalize the conversation. Have an improvised conversation with your friend while you are facing the camera and your friend is behind the camera. Look at your friend (for the exercise) not the camera. See how YOU speak naturally to your friend. Trust that you are enough without "pushing the humour." Then turn your gaze and have that conversation to the camera lens.
I have a great book for you to read: The Power of the Actor by Ivana Chubbuck. Above, I am referring to two tools in her book: Scene Objective & Substitution.
Here is an overview of Ivana Chubbuck's 12 step technique. Her book goes into them in greater detail. It is a fascinating read. I am certified to teach her technique. She is still teaching in Los Angeles.
Maureen Bolog ............Owner,Actor's Craft Greater Chicago
ReplyDelete------------------
I am glad to be of service. Below are my thoughts about the comments others made regarding your work.
The only problem I had with your accent was the names because we are not familiar with the foreign first names. Also, some pronunciations of words - however, in Europe they pronounce words differently than in the US. My family is from Ireland and I have relations in England and I work with students from other countries, so I do not expect everyone to sound like an American. BUT for those who do, you can go on-line and get some DICTION exercises. Tongue Twisters (Example: What ails Alice asks Alex? or - The big black bug bled blue bug blood.). Open your mouth as wide as it goes so your tongue has room to move. The lips, the teeth, the tip of the tongue and the roof of the mouth - are part of good diction. Practice opening up your mouth as wide as possible when exercising your voice, tongue and mouth. Stick out your tongue and stretch it around the outside of the mouth. Don't worry about the exercises when you are "acting" because with practice it will come more naturally. Hit the consonants clearly with your lips, teeth and tongue, especially during names - because they are familiar to you but not to the typical American.
I don't agree with presence of severe cultural barrier. I think your humour is unifying. I have produced ethnic entertainments that promote the culture of other lands. I value diversity AND unity. Not everything has to be mainstream American culture.
- The style of storytelling is not appealing ( slow rhythm and no climax bursting to laugh,
comparing to the fast active style used in the west , and also this safe family
oriented type of humour).
- The acting is unnatural and too animated
The Chubbuck Technique will help you with the last two comments. YOU are engaging. What is missing is Communicating with a LIVING PERSON that you know - substituting that person for the camera - and KNOWING what you WANT from that person.
I like family humour and am tired of people who think they have to always sell sex and violence. There is a market for CLEAN humour in the USA. Do not compromise on your values to be a success. In the end, we serve God with our work and it is to Him that we are accountable. Also, as a family man, I am sure you want your children to be able to share in your work.
Not every comedian has to have a "fast active style." Everyone is different. Look at Steven Wright. He is dry, slow, monotone and has a bunch of one-liners. Dare to be different.
There are many comedians that work clean. There is nothing wrong with safe family oriented humour. We are LOOKING for entertainments we can share with our children. SMART humour is NOT tawdry humour. Too many comedians go for shock humour with language and content. Paula Poundstone and Ellen Degeneres are CLEAN comediennes and they are very successful.
An old friend of mine was co-producer of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in the 1980s. I spent two years watching comedians with him maybe 3 times a week. The co-producer was WEARY of all the bad language and risque content he had to sit through in order to find a comedian with material he could put on The Tonight Show.
It's nice to see family humor. God bless and good luck!
Athena Cho..... Animation Executive producer /Canada
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Dear Behzad
Sorry for the late reply. I finally had a chance to look at the links you had provided with my sister. We laughed a lot. You are a good actor and I like the format, and your English is so perfect.
What is your audience target? Do you intend to make an animation version?
You made me think of http://www.cbc.ca/vinylcafe/, not sure if you have heard of it before. How would you like to take this to the next level?
Best,Athena
McKay Coble ........scenic and costume designer
ReplyDelete--------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Farahat,
Thank you for soliciting my opinion. I am a scenic and costume designer and therefore not really the best choice to ascertain your dramaturgical and marketing aims. I will say that I personally found the stories charming and quite compelling in that I am not a fan of overt comedy.
Best regards.
John Kublank .......Marketing Coordinator /Texas
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I really enjoyed them! Great Job!
Jimmy Messer ..........Actor&animation U.K ---------------------------------------------
ReplyDeleteGood Evening Behzad,
I just watched your videos, wonderful stories and perfectly told. As you may know I have been in production a very long time.
I am about to tell you something that could change your life forever and the popularity of you and your channel.
Take your stories and story board them then shoot them on location this doesn't have to cost money you can find actors and props for free.
This will make your segments into short and snappy scenes which will keep your audience engaged.
With your characterised nature you could create something that will be television worthy.Once you have budget I would love to get involved.
There are community channels that would take the show as it is but you wouldn't make any money, turning the show into a formatted show where instead of you telling the story you act it out. like a classy mr bean.
Your accent is familiar to me I have friends from Kenya with the same twangs so understanding you is not an issue.
Some stories should be westernised slightly is that's the market you want to hit like when you name food dishes, instead of something you would normally say, use things like spaghetti bolognaise in turn this will make is funnier.
Stories were fine need modification. tightening up and converting into a script for actors if your going to go that way.
Acting is fine.
Hope this helps ,Regards ,Jimmy
ReplyDeleteMichael Cahill ..........actor/Voice Over
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I liked it your hand gestures were great kept the attention to the story. I like the voice inflections as well it kept a person tuned in nice job.
Mike
Tiffany Rae Reid.......Talk Show Radio Host
ReplyDelete/Philadelphia
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So I watched the first two videos.
Without knowing your intent or the type of feedback you are looking for I can tell that I enjoyed the first one more than the second.
Also, you are very animated and I think I'd prefer to see you standing up and moving around instead of stuck in a chair.
I'm not sure of the actual point to any of these but then again, I don't have to know if there was one. Are you looking for a particular response?
Datin Sofia Jane Azman.......Actor/Malaysia
ReplyDelete-----------------------------------------------
Salam Behzad,
I watched all and I must say I have never seen anything quite like it.I love Iranian films but have never watched Iranian Tv shows. I love that it gives us a peek into little stories. How long is an episode? Is what I saw just a segment of the programme?
I'm not very familiar with Iranian society and culture except from what I read and watch. But I would say the comments were fair. Yes ,the concept is interesting I admit. But true, the actor's diction was not clear. Since its in English I presume you want it to watched an understood by others around the world.
I'm ok with the animated gestures but it must go hand in hand with good story telling. Hope that helps:)
insyaAllah , I think if you have a solid script , your show could go anywhere globally.
All the Best wishes,Sofia
Boris Harris .......Actor,Screenwriter, Blogger /St. Louis
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Thank you for sending the videos, they are hilarious.
Scott David
ReplyDelete----------------------------------------------
Thanks for the note and the video, I am not really fond of sketch type one man show things.....but good luck to you.
thanks scott
Matthew Grego .........Actor, Writer /Australia
ReplyDelete-----------------------------------------------
Bezhad,
I would say based on the links you sent me that you are a highly effective storyteller.
You have an ability to paint a picture in someone's mind which is something all performers need.
If it were ever developed into a series for the western market then the last thing you would want to do is make fun of women based purely on generalised faults stemming from gender. It just doesn't work that way here. We at least pay lip service to sexual equality.
Aside from that keep doing what you're doing. As performers of one sort or another we're always learning.
Let me address these points in the order you presented them to me:
* There are universal themes covered in these stories, namely the eccentric extended family (rich uncles etc), children that won't behave themelves, strange events on public transport and the inevitable Doctor's Surgery jokes (just avoid the sexism).
* Why must punch lines beat people over the head? Some anecdotes (told properly) have me rolling on the floor more readily than the worlds best 'zinger'.
* I understood the accent, every syllable in fact (at least where the sound did not cut out).
* You're not acting. You're relating an anecdote. They are two different types of performance, both requiring their own styles of storytelling. Both require a certain flair. To 'act' as though you were relating an anecdote would be a different type of method all together.
My only other advice to you is look at Bill Cosby's work. That's who you remind me of. He made a very successful career out of telling family jokes.
I don't claim to be an expert, these are just my opinions.
I hope this helps. Best Regards, Matthew
ReplyDeleteFoad Ghorbani ......Production Artist /Seattle Iranian
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Dear Behzad khaan Salam,
O I really enjoyed Persian version of your works, they look great, there is no question about it, But for English version, is too far from culture here, for example I never see someone sitting and perform comedy show(In Western), they are always standing, you can check Jerry Seinfeld for reference, and they have some pause in their dialogs to give people time to think, and guess, they used a lot of sarcastic ways to express themselves. I hope all these make sense. Best, Fouad
ReplyDeleteAntonia Davies......Self-Employed Actor-VO artist London
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Hi Behzad,
Thanks for sending me a link to your comedy monolgue. I just had time to watch 'Banana'. I thought it was fun. A nice/gentle story humorously delivered.
Anyone who has kids can relate to it.
I especially liked the physical moments when your daughter was pulling at your jumper for attention. Worked well. Good idea.
Good luck with it. Antonia
ReplyDeleteJason Condon........Animator,Designer/Canada
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Hey Behzad,
I liked the one I watched. Hard to tell how some of the humor might come across over here. I'd have to watch the others to get a sense of the whole project. My humor sensibilities are more in line with the UK / English humor as opposed to North American too. So I'm not really in line with what the general populous finds entertaining. I'll try to watch the others this week and get back to you.
-----------------
I just watched them all. I think Hair and zipper were my favorite. I found their punchlines the funniest and the most clear. I liked your characterizations in them the best too. I think those might play alright to a western humor base.
I think the cultural barrier remark is related to some of the specific cultural details of the stories. Like the meals you describe in the hair bit. I had no idea what those meals were, but I was still able to follow the story and get the general punchline. Maybe watering those down might help mass appeal, but it might also take away some of the charm. That will be a fine line to walk.
The style of storytelling.. I can see where that comment s coming from. The general western public seem to need that constant slap bang pacing to keep them interested.. Personally, I prefer the more storyteller pacing, as long as you're building to a big punchline and the story leading there is interesting. But I often find myself not in line with what a lot of people find funny these days. So I might eb a bad barometer for that.
I had no problem with the accent myself. But I think that's more of a person by person thing. Some people have a hard time with accents, some don't. I don't think there was a point where I didn't understand something because of it.
Hmm... I actually liked the over acted style. At first, it took some adjusting... But after that it became a part of the style for me. So I would have to say I disagree with that comment. Especially if the audience is a family audience. Kids enjoy broad storytelling.
ReplyDeleteDarren A.Furniss ....Writer,Director,Actor /United Kingdom
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Hi Behzad,
I have watched a couple of your episodes and I think the stories are really good! I think that they would benefit from different camera angles and cuts within each piece. For instance, starting on a wide shot and then going from that to a mid-shot and then to a close and so on. This helps the viewer maintain a visual interest. I hope this helps and I wish you all the very best.
Kindest Regards, Darren
ReplyDeleteMark Gordon ......Entertainment, Executive & Life Coach/Los Angeles
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Hello Behzad,
I looked at the first one briefly. I appreciate the effort you have put into this work. My opinion and this is merely my opinion is that you need more b roll. More cut aways. Let the images help tell the story. Your deliver is good. The internet has created a culture with a short attention span.
Also, the sound could be improved. It sounds a little like you are sitting in a tunnel.
Good luck
Flloyd Kennedy .......Voice & Acting coach /Australia
ReplyDelete---------------------------------------------
Dear Behzad,
Thank you for inviting me to view your videos. You have a lovely presence, and great mime skills, and I found your stories amusing and charming - but!
I also felt slightly offended that all of the women in your stories come across as either uncaring or not very bright. I realise you don't present yourself (your character) in the most positive light, but perhaps you could balance your insights into human nature with a little more generousity?
The banana story troubled me because - who puts a banana at the bottom of a pile of fruit? I need to have a certain logic if I'm to go along with the story.
On the technical side, since you are presenting in English, why not place some English titles into the videos as well. And definitely place some information about yourself, your experience as a performer (and other interesting facts about yourself) so that the viewer has some context.
Good luck with it all! Best wishes /Flloyd
ReplyDeleteDave Clark.......Actor+Writer /Dallas
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Behzad,
This is very unique, well paced and your use of improv, facial expressions and character development are all great. Kind of reminds me of a character that would pop up in a variety show...which I miss and wish reality shows would stop and the old time variety shows would come back.
I didn't have trouble understanding any of the stories. Even within the U.S. people's accents and culture vary between state to state.
It did take me a while to pick up the accent but I didn't have much trouble.
I thought the animation added to your character.
What I think they mean by the style not being appealing, is that in the U.S. we are used to constant action...so all your stories you sit and tell us would be acted out by people probably not in a stationery position.
Hope this helps/makes sense...best wishes to you. I see you've done a lot of interesting work. Dave
ReplyDeleteAmanda Fugate-Moss ......Professional Actor / Los Angeles
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Watched the first one. Your animated presence made your video fun to watch.
Amanda
ReplyDeleteSasha Marina .......Host in The Sasha Marina Show /Miami
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Thats interesting. please send me more information about your show and what you do, to my Show's email. perhaps i could give you a feature on the blog.
TheSashaMarinaShow@gmail.com
Regards,Sasha Marina
ReplyDeleteEslam Shams........Iranian Comedian / Los
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Dear Mr. Farahat,
I watched your clips during our break from our rehearsal with 7 friends (Actors & Stand Up Comics). Everyone agreed that your facial expressions were great and you are a great story teller. However in today's market and Hollywood's commercial approach to art, this sort of program has a bigger appeal to the crowd that follows Sesame Street, etc.
As unfortunate as it sounds, technology has changed the art as we knew it. CGI has taken over. One man plays are thing of the past. The ratio of the followers for this type of show comparing to new wave of audiences is 1 to 10. It is a sad fact but it is true.
Being a stand up comedian in Hollywood and also an actor who has done two ONE MAN PLAYS (each 70 minutes) like your clips but REALISTICALLY I am merely the ONE against those TEN people I mentioned.
I wish you success in what you do. I hope we can work together some day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtZLJme1F1I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=em2MQhtazZc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDBFV8trT4g
ReplyDeleteMarisol Strauss.............Model/Actress / New York
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Hi ,I just watched a short film video of yours .
Thanks for emailing me I like the video :)
One thing might be different is you have no shoes on I quickly noticed. I think your videos would be perfect you might need to as more interest for people to enjoy.
I enjoyed the show, I feel you should have more to the story to catch audience attenion. And make sure to ware shoes when doing a show.
Keep working at it. Nice work
Marisol
ReplyDeleteJohn Burchat ........Actor, Artist,Photographer /Canada
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Hi Behzad,
I watched and listened to the first one, "Banana", however the acoustic echo of the room plus the high pitched rapid voice in some sections made it impossible to listen to.
I lost interest after 1 minute. Perhaps a better background or actions on the part of the comic rather than sitting and making gestures would entertain your audience.
ReplyDeleteSarthak Kalyani ..........Singer / Actor / /India
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Hello Behzadji,
Namaste! I saw your videos (first 2). I myself liked them very much. But I am too small (12 Years) to comment on them.
Charan Sparsh ,Sarthak
ReplyDeleteAelson Cacique .........model and actor /U.S
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Not bad very good
ReplyDeleteSulagna Chatterjee ........ actressUTV/ India
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Hi, First of all i have not seen such concepts in India. But i really liked it. The change of graph in voice and performance, the timing, the stories narrated everything was good. I m sure this show is doing well in Iran. All the best.
But i have a feeling that after a certain span of time people may find it boring as it would be a monotonous thing for which may be more or various actors can be included, various locations and some sound effects can come to rescue.
I didnt find any cultural barrier. It was similar to any other show which u see at international level like friends etc. I didnt find any problem in that.
For the style, as i said ppl may get bored after sometime and hence have suggested some new things in the previous mail.
For the accent and acting, well, it depends from person to person. Generally if u want to do comedy u have to overact thts what i think, so its fine and for the too animated thing, it could be more of a stage play format with more actors playing the characters rather than just one person alone doing all they show. This would give a brk to the eyes and ears of audience keep them away from getting bored.
Thats all I can suggest. coz i dont have much idea as to what kind of formats are acceptable in ur region
Once again good job and all the best.
Hope this suffices. Thankyou
ReplyDeleteTwyla Littleton-Shabtai......Voice Over Actor /Los Angeles
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Hi Mr. Farahat,
I watched your first video so far (Banana) and I think it is enchanting. You have a nice storytelling quality and I like that it is clean and wholesome. I will watch your other ones as time permits and get back to you.
Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteRichard McWilliams ...........Actor /Ireland
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terrible
i dont know its intention, is it supposed to be funny , is it you telling a joke? if so it does not work as comedy because the joke is not funny, it relates more like a story only people in the family would understand, what we call an "in" joke in the west. So other people would not appreciate it.
Are you playing a proposed character on the show? if so he is not believable as someone who has a wife and children but maybe that is the point of the character?
ReplyDeleteJudy Thrush......Actress Model and Talent Agency /Ontario
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I don't see the comedy in it but the story is interesting. I see this as story telling. To make it more interesting you need to relax, be natural (not rehearse), and make it sound as if you're talking to a loved family member. I don't see where the banana fits in but maybe if I listened to it again I would. I would like to see a little more to the story.
Your on the right track as a story teller. I think you could be good at that. Hope all is well with you too.
I don't know why the person couldn't understand you unless English is a second language so to to them it sounds like a dialect they couldn't register. You were clear to me.
I have to agree the story needed more of a beginnning, middle and end with a plot and climax no matter how small the story was. However, to me it was a tale or joke you would tell around a family table while eating or sitting with guest and family which wouldn't demand much of a story. For filming purposes and stage purposes it has to be more. It must have a plot and climax with a beginning, middle and end.
The acting I have to agree was unrelax so it wasn't natural. Must do a lot less on film than you would do on stage. I'm not an expert so, I would say take these criticisms and digest them and see it they have merit. What it comes down to is your opinion and vision.
I think you may be a storyteller that needs to grow.
Saif Khaldi Sha Latta...........Producer Director & Writer BOLLYWOOD. /India
ReplyDelete-----------------------------------------------------------------
Assalamalaykum Behzad Sahab .
Lot of thanks and I have seen you links and I like it very much. second thing for further discuss please mail me on my mail cinevisionarts@yahoo.com and before you mail search me in Google in my nick name S K Sha Latta and see all my video for to be further and professional discuss.
also request you to send the detail of your video and what is it,I hope soon you will be in touch.with great regards.
ReplyDeleteRICH TONY PARRISH.........ACTOR, VOICE ACTOR, /Dallas
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Keep up the good work, and If you ever need an Actor like me contact me any time here.
Thanks. Take care and Merry Christmas
Liisa Allen...........IP Talent Management/Casting, Project Development, /Toronto
ReplyDelete-------------------------------------------
Simply FUN. Thanks so much for sharing, and seems you are having the time of your life with these skits.
------------
Truly my pleasure, anyone who posts something personal here, I truly try to get back to as soon as I am able. You said it well, in your title that this was "Experimental" ...and it is FUN to experiment, isn't it? Coming from an ANIMATION background it would be new and challenging to do something like this for sure.
OF course there will always be something we need to improve, to learn and reflect upon.
Personally, I didn't think you were asking for a critique in the true sense, simply because of the word experimental...and though I understand some of the comments and where they are coming from--I myself, delighted in the fact that though you were indeed animated, you were having FUN, East is different from West true-but we should not be comparing oranges to apples--in my opinion.
There are NO cultural barriers present when one reaches out in my opinion to gain insight, and that you have done.
I am hoping you will take those comments, gain insight and learn and grow along the way, the things you need in order to to captivate your audience. For now you are indeed experimenting, and having FUN, and I like that.
You aren't afraid, you are fearless, and doing so in a foreign language is commendable. While you not natural, and very animated at times---and your accent is present-I did sense the childlike wonder that is present when we are young-and discovering that which we love to do. We all are a work in progress, and we must always strive to be better. The problem truly is that it is in the eye of the beholder how one is perceived and that may be very different from how you yourself may see it. Subjectivity is the reason. From an objective eye-- Perhaps I see things completely differently than others...but I am looking at how you dared to dream, to create, to entertain yourself with that which you love and had the courage to share with strangers.
Everyone is different, and cultures play a role for sure in forming our beliefs, and the way in which we respond to something such as this. I myself just think we should look beyond those barriers--and see what lies behind these pieces, what is it that inspired you to do this in the first place, to dare to create, and attempt to do so in a foreign language even opening yourself up to post..and share? May I ask? That is what interests me most...Best, Liisa
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Joy Devore......... Film Director & Editor /California
ReplyDelete----------------------------------------------
Hi Sir,
Well, I've had a chance to review your material and it's not too bad, but could probably use a few adjustments before it would be widely accepted as comedy in the States. Of course, the United States has quite a variety of peoples and cultures represented, so I'm sure that it's funny to some people right now the way it is.
But in general, one of the first things you would have to adjust would be the way that women are referred to. I know that in your culture it might be normal for the women to always be the ones caring for the children or cooking, and that it might be unusual to have women doctors. But here, the norm is for parents to share responsibility for the children evenly (including feeding, bathing...etc) -- that is, if there's two parents in the household. About half of the US is missing a parent in the house, which means either the mom or the dad is the one with sole responsibility for all household affairs.
We have a ways to go with women's rights in the U.S., but the difference is enough to consider revising your scripts.
I do appreciate that your comedy is clean (acceptable for the whole family to see), however, since much of the comedy here is not. We do need more of that, but the competition is quite severe. Keep trying, though, and you may succeed ;)
Yes, I'm not sure who gave you those notes, but they are indeed excellent. I responded to the women's rights issue (which could probably be included in cultural barriers), because it is the most critical change that needs to be made.
Since I personally have many international friends, and have been around the world a few times, I understand the cultural references and the accent did not bother me at all. But, yes, perhaps the average American would have trouble understanding the way you speak. I would suggest, however, not to worry about the accent so much as the English grammar. Pay specific attention to that. And try to hang out with Americans, if you can, then you might pick up the flow and accent.
The rhythm is definitely slower than the average comedian here. Just imagine eating your lunch in your car while driving on the highway on your way to work, and you're running about 5 minutes late already. That's the pace of American life in the city, where most comedians either fail or succeed.
Here's some clips for you to view. While I don't appreciate all of their humor, and certainly wouldn't want you to copy their crass comments, watch it for the pacing. If you have questions, let me know.
Jim Carrey:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MmNkwPtwfA
Robin Williams:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xosib6JQcl8
Eddie Murphy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JfMCBh1sJQ
Dane Cook:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXtVzj9y-bo
One thing you might want to take note of is that unless you have a talk show (and sometimes even talk show hosts don't sit), you are standing the whole time. Standing gives you an energy that sitting lacks, especially sitting in the posture that you assume. It's not that you can't sit, but if you sit, then your jokes have to be better than the best comic in the United States. Even the best comics stand. That's why they are called stand-up comedians.
Also, every comedian needs a crowd, in order to be successful. A crowd of people will give you even more energy, and it's the only way to get immediate feedback on whether or not your jokes are working.
Some comedians like Tyler Perry, express their laughs through film.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Kzbg6bnwFs
Best of luck to you!
Elijah Daniel......Actor at NOLLYWOOOD /Nigeria
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Hi Behzad
Am watching the 'Banana' it's pretty cool, nice work you have there. Due to how busy i was i couldn't watch others, but i assure you from what i heard from 'Banana' i raise my Thumb for you. Keep it up sir.
It's a pleasure watching your comedy show.I'd appreciate, Thanks a lot
ReplyDeleteR.L Hartmann .......novelist and screenwriter /N.Carolina A
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I watched and liked 3 of the subway vids, and 2 of the others, and am subscribed now. Nice work! I laughed, and hope to find time to watch and like more.
The cartoons run a bit long, but I was drawn at once to the character, and really liked Cockroach. In Zipper, you say "my left foot" but it is your right foot. No help for that now, I suppose, as I think if the vid is updated you lose your hits. And probably no one else will ever notice that!
As with all comments and feedback, my rule is to consider the source. However, in evaluating the ones on You Tube, it is difficult to know who is commenting, or what the person's nationality and background are.
I felt no cultural barrier, and wonder if the writer of that comment might have felt some cultural BIAS.
I had no trouble understanding the ones I watched, though I did feel the animations did go on a bit long.
Perhaps you are asking the wrong person in asking me, for I guess my sense of humor does not require fast action and big ho-ho-ho in order to be funny. And I don't understand why that commenter thought safe family style humor isn't funny. We need MORE of that in this crazy world.
Do you watch the You Tube videos called Simon's Cat? I don't remember how long those are, but they are similar to your animations, and those have a big following. Of course, there are lots of CAT lovers, so they watch for the cat, not necessarily to have a big laugh.
Hope this helps. If you watch my Cordero Saga (4 videos), feel free to tell me what you think.
ReplyDeleteTessa Matiella ........part-time childcare provider /Texas
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Hello Behzad F.
the 2 minute episodes of your family-comedy show are very well acted. Your skills at playing characters and telling stories are very good and a joy to watch. Thank you for sending me the links.
with sincerity ,Tessa Matiella
ReplyDeleteMichael Tyrone Boyd ......Corporate B2B&Retail /Atlanta
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Hello, I did see your "Banana" skit on youtube.
It's good!
nevermind those who speak negatively! Just keep doing what you do, that's all.I have many videos on youtube,and some people make ridiculous comments (maybe they are jeaous), but mostly I have many who like my music,and those are the ones that really count!
ReplyDeleteHenry Harvey ............Writer /U.S
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This is very interesting.
Where are you from?
John Aguirre
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Behzad, Although you're presentation and execution of the material is enthusiastic,
I think you should re-think your material. A choking baby is a tough sell in any "comedy" or "family" market when it comes to entertainment. Perhaps you could find lighter fair to start with
ReplyDeleteManoj Shrivastava ..........actor at bollywood / India
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Nice sir very nice.
Nitten Rajput .........Actor |Concept Artist /India
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Hi there /Dear Mr. Behzad.
I am doing well, thank you for asking and I hope you are too, doing well.
I truly liked all of your episodes, especially the BANANA Episode . But the best part is the performance you give by your gestures, voice modulations. By it i can visualize the scene, e.g. like reading a novel and picturing the scene in your head.
Like to add, sometimes the performance and modulation of voice if compared to all of your episodes tends to become repetitive.
As a viewer, on my part, if you could include special sounds or music, in between of the performance, like classic comedies of Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton or modern as Mr. Bean. It would give the feeling more and will be much entertaining.
That's all i wanted to say.
Thankyou & Best Regards. Yours,
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ReplyDeleteKelly Lincoln ......Host Radio/New York
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Behzad,
As a director, here are my notes:
Well written. You're a good writer.
You should relate more to the "audience" (camera). when you look away, you lose me, and therefore, your audience. there should be should more of a point of view in telling the story of the banana (and all your stories). What do you want the audience to feel? What do you want to convey? Who is speaking? Why are you telling the story? these are questions for you. as someone watching and listening, I don't need to know, but you do.
I know I'm coming from a Western perspective, but these are things your audience needs to know to be engaged by your stories.
Kelly
The other comments echo my notes. When telling your stories to Westerners, remember that our style of storytelling has more rhythmic variations, but I am attributing the translation process to this issue.
An exercise for you:
Tell the banana story as though you were telling it to children. record it. then watch both of them, and tell me what you see/hear.
ReplyDeleteKenneth Rock ........... British Society of Comedy Writers /United Kingdom
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Dear Behzad Farahat
Thank you for sending me the clips of your TV comedy shows.
You have a very nice style with your stories and obviously it is very successful. I'm not sure if it is quite right for British audiences as we tend to prefer short, quick jokes and routines. But I am sure there are audiences around the world who like that sort of humour.
I have worked in many countries and know how humour and cultures vary so differently. I have run workshops and lecturered worldwide and always looking for new projects and opportunities.
I hope everything is going well for you.
Best Regards /Ken Rock
ReplyDeleteGreg Apps ..........Casting Director
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It is difficult (almost impossible to watch) because the sound is boomy. A performance driven by dialogue must have a stand alone mike not be miked from the camera, you need soft furnishings in the room so the sound dos not echo, and shoot it tighter.
Good luck
ReplyDeleteAria McKenna .........Actress and Voice Over Performer for Audiobooks,/New Jersey
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Behzad,
Kudos to you for reaching out and being so industrious!
On the production end, I'd have to say these could use some tweaking. My main issue is the audio which is very echoey, and has static. I don't know what you're using for sound, but I'd think a good lavalier mic would help, as well as some audio clean up, and maybe acoustic treatment of the space.
I feel content and performance wise, these seem like mini one man shows for theater, and not film. There are some nice elements I enjoy in terms of your sense of humor, and your commitment to the work. It's an unusual stylistic format, and I'm simply used to a more understated quality for film, and as this is a static shot, I would think it could be helpful to amp up some of the production value, relax a bit more into the performances, and perhaps come in a little closer.
I watched a bit of the Sonography piece as well, and I agree with some of the other comments. As an American, this portrayal of a female Dr, and your response to being seen by one, would appear to be old fashioned and sexist. Half my doctors are female, and none would behave in this fashion. I've spent enough time traveling to know cultural differences and divides can take some time to break down and cross over.
I hope this helps, and does not offend. There were some nice animation pieces I saw on your site as well! I did notice some inconsistencies across the board with the audio. Audio can be a very difficult challenge, but one I think that is quite important to the over all quality of any production. Good luck!!
And thank you for reaching out and requesting my opinion!
ReplyDeleteTony Iacovides .......Actor, Director,Script writer /Cyprus
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Dear Behzar.
I've seen your monoloque-comedy about the family' affair...
Well ! I know that the culture of your country is very "closed" and "demanding".. But I enjoyed it. I liked the script, the direction but what do you think IF this comedy was played from an actor ... more manly. I think that it will be more easy for everyone to accept and enjoy the script and the story of the comedy.This actor is very good and alive BUT may be for another comedy.
Are you from Iran? I have a lot of Iranian friends here in Cyprus. There are a lot of them here.
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I didnt know that you are Iranian. I have a lot of friends here in Cyprus from Iran. Anyway.
I;ve seen your video- comedy.
I liked very much the script and the direction. Its very alive, straight to the viewers and very good played by the actor.
I'd only wanted to play this monoloque about the family an actor more manly. So the script and the comedy, I believe will be more acceptable by the viwers.. I dont know. I Know only that the culture of your country is very :closed" and demanding"...
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Well. I read the previous comments.
I think they are similar of mine.
I will disagrre with the comment that there is not rythm. There is rythm in direction of this part of the play but i agree with comment that the acting is no normal. I'd like an acting more manly to challenge the viewers and showing more strong the difference between the true and the funny part of the life...
I will not make any comment for the accent of the actor because I believe that he is an Iranian actor and I do know how the Iranians speak English !!! But because of the accent , YES, sometimes I couldnt understand what exactly he was talking about.
Anyway. I dont know if this is your first time directing in English. But I believe that you must find an other actor to play. This actor is very good. Really is good. But not for this play.
HAVE A NICE DAY. /Tony
Steve James....... Stand up at Funky Spotlight /Canada
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I was actually distracted from the video by the comments.There's a first time for everything!
I think that you have a better future as a comic actor, rather than straight stand up, errr sit down.
ReplyDeleteTanuja Poria .........Actress, singer & dancer /Australia
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Hi Behzad,
Thank you for sending me your videos.
I think you are very talented and have a unique personality .
I liked your work very much.
Best regards Tanu
ReplyDeleteShaun Nac ........Actor at Sag-Aftra /California
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they are ok as i did not laugh much in them
ReplyDeleteDharmik Patel .......Business Student+Actor /Boston
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Hi Behead,
Your webisodes have an interesting approach and I particularly like how you dive right into your work. All in all its a amusing different and great concept. I really like it.
The comments that you received are somewhat true. Your accent is not a problem at all, but I do think that some people may not relate to your stories. I personally did not relate to them but still enjoyed them - there is a difference. However that is expected with anything you do; some people will like it and others won't. You are very animated and that is good, now try to bring that in and really create some sort of a flow. In other words act out your monologue like it is a part of a play or film instead of it being random because that is kind of what it looks like. There needs to be a climax otherwise you are essentially telling a story without a purpose - the audience will be left thinking "okay, so what now and why did I watch this?"
Hope this helps.
Good luck,
Best, Dharmik Patel
ReplyDeleteJayson Simba ......NYC Actor+SAG-AFTRA, AEA /New York
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Hi. sorry, it's not my style of humor.
ReplyDeleteJj.Osborne Osborne...... actor /California
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i liked it !! keep rocking the comedy
ReplyDeletePaolo Benelli ......Painter art, Cameraman, editing and actor. /Salt Lake City
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Dear Behzad Farahat
I think it's a good show, because the actor works a lot persuasive animation and very spontaneous in contents of message.
I would also add that the steps are very clear ideas to the public to imagine, in this kind of show is very important focus the image of the character in his own acting style.
Congratulations you did a good job
Best regards Paolo/ Benelli
ReplyDeletePhyllis Marrow .........Minister Evangelism Outreach /Texas
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These are good. I personally enjoyed Sonogram. You might want to change up the background by throwing a little plash of color in the back or keep the black background and have a nonblack chair. Personally I'd change the chair.
I don’t see what they mean by this” severe cultural barrier”. What’s wrong with a little culture. That’s what makes us beautiful people. God made us beautiful like that.
The style of storytelling was funny to me. . . natural things that happen in life. We need more family oriented humor.
I understood your accent perfectly.You kept my attention and 2 to 3 minutes was just right.
Hope this helps you.
ReplyDeleteElena Banta ......Therapist at Catholic Charities /Chicago
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You asked for comments, so here they are. Your piece does not translate well into English. If you are trying to reach an American audience, you might want to consider a American-type routine.
ReplyDeleteClark Long .......Founder ( Techniques Of Acting) /Los Angeles
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Hi Behzad, I view your project, first of all I liked your setting. it was very approated for story telling. I didn't know what type of audience you are reaching out to. If this is a comedy skit for adults, I believe you might have to update the material a bit more.
You as an actor you have good expression explaining a story, Made it more interesting, more colorful. Hope this help, but by any means is it bad, it just needs a little more work to
let one know where you are going with this.
ReplyDeleteDavid Doyle ......Professional Actor /Australia
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I'm complimented you ask for my opinion. I watched them all and liked them but couldn't laugh out loud at them. It is possible Iranian people perhaps find different things funny to Australian audiences.
I mean this with all politeness and sincerity. My parents were born in the 40's, loved their British comedy shows of the 60's and 70's and depending on how they were presented probably would find your anecdotes funny or amusing. I do think you're a funny, animated guy and definitely suited to comedy theatre.
Are you also a kind of stand-up comic too? You remind me of Woody Allen a little.
Kind regards, David.
ReplyDeleteDave Rosner .......U.S arine Officer+Humorist / California
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They are very arty. Very New York City-ish. Good pieces for a one man show.
What is your goal with the material? Who is the audience? Americans? Iranians? Those are for you to answer. Then tweak for that audience.
It is not in American style but so what. You're an artist. You do what you want with it.
Personally, I'd like to hear more about what it is like living there and how that is or is not what we Americana's think it is like there. Do the people follow the leadership there? Do they want revolution? (But don't do anything to get yourself in trouble). How we are the same but different.
A comedy mentor of mine once had me write down the ten worst things that had happened to me in my life. Then he said, "There is your act. Make jokes out of them
ReplyDeleteKathy Foust .....Owner(Ivy Angel Productions) /Indiana
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Very interesting, I just haven't seen the one man comic show done in a while. I really don't know that market at all to be honest with you. I haven't seen any form of that on T.V. that I can think of other then those in Vegas and those are normally just jokes and insults. But you are a very good actor, if that was you in each scene.
There is no doubt that you are talented and creative, I think if I was you I would create a digital resume and apply for some roles that fit your age and physical appearance and use what you have here as part of your portfolio to show your wide spread of talent and maybe find some comic clubs to get the word out about your act.
Other then that I have nothing. But it was good. Just I know that comedian market is like any entertainment business position. It is not easy to break into and people look for comedians to make them laugh and forget about their lives, troubles and the evil perils for a short time, so just fine tune what you have and see who is looking for your type of work .
I can see where they would come to those conclusions(comments). There is a HUGE cultural barrier and also language barrier. As much as I hate to say it, just let me warn you about me. Never ask me a question and expect me to sugar coat you an answer or lie to you. I just don't float that way. I always say if don't really want my opinion don't ask.
I think the one man show is much out of style here in this media and unless you are one of the famous comedians on tour in a nightclub on Vegas strip could that be pulled off with out getting something thrown at them.
The style of storytelling is no appealing. This again points to entertaining someone and getting into their minds and relating to them with something, making them laugh.
Those who say:(The accent is not understandable). Americans to be honest hear that accent on the phone probably 5-10 times a day and it is never a good reason. So many of the American customer care centers have been outsourced and tech support also. So there is that barrier where the customer has a hard time understanding the person on the other end and they feel cheated and at the end of the call they are usually pissed off and call the next day and cancel their service. So you are catching the negativity of that.
I think I would have an actor do it that has a good english accent that can do the language smoothly.(than you)
Now this is just me, but I would write the whole script in proper format and put characters in it , like a skit or play and I think you will see a beautiful thing.
You have a great concept and if your purpose is to use your nationality then just make sure that they can speak the English language smoothly and clearly.
Try that and you might have to shoot it several times to get a smooth read, but you will have a great reel and then you will have a credit under your belt.
There is a slogan we have here in the state "Keep it Simple Stupid, KISS" This just means keep what you need and avoid what you don't need. Sometimes we think we need something and we don't.
I do it all the time, I usually re-write a scene three times before it is down to where it is simple and within the guidelines. But it makes for good practice and we all need practice.
Kathy/ UR WELCOME
ReplyDeletearmin hanßke.... / Germany
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Dear Behzad,
in this moment I saw the tangerine.Your acting is good , that means much more better than the most at TV. But this is my opinion and you now ,that I`m living since years without TV.
ReplyDeleteMark McPherson......Producer, Director, Acting Coach
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Bananas seems funny.
Mark
ReplyDeleteEllen Wasser-Hrin ......Director( MMA/Model Management Agency)/Philadelphia
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Best of luck to you. Interesting work.
Ellen
ReplyDeleteGreg Nutcher .....President at Wonderful Journey Entertainment, /New York City
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Well done, funny! Thanks for the invite.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2440579/
ReplyDeleteRob Gotobed ......Stand-Up Comedian/Actor /London
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Hi Behzad
I really enjoyed the clips of your show you sent me.
If I can give you some constructive criticism based on the British and American TV markets which I have written for. Your delivery needs to be more punchier and you need to be standing up and walking around to deliver it to your audience!
British & American audiences have a very short attention span (like a child) and I fear you would lose them by delivering your monologues by sitting down!
But if the opportunity arises in the near future I would be interested in working with you.
Ref : the comments:
I disagree with "severe cultural barrier" ,I believe there is a market for this..
I have no problem with your accent.
beside the sitting posture I enjoyed your presentation.
I like the style of the storytelling but the delivery needs to be more punchier!!
Good luck ,Rob
Dale Morris .......Writer & Performer /San Diego
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Good work. Shorter, funnier, faster.
ReplyDeleteRick Haymes ........Actor /U.S
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Ha Ha...well done.
Dear Behzad,
Reading through your viewer comments I can appreciate an element of veracity in each point. I am not sure who your target audience will be, but if it is in the USA I would agree that steps should be taken to address each of the criticisms.
- I would agree there are some cultural barriers to overcome but I don't see that as a knock out factor, there are cultural barriers within the US itself.
- I did not have a problem with the storytelling, but I can understand why some would, the same way I have a problem with listening to rap "music". If you have not already, watch the storytelling style and pacing Bill Crosby uses with audiences. I think "family oriented" is a good thing these days.
- I didn't have a problem with understanding the accent, but I understand how those people I am not able to understand might.
- I thought the acting was fine and reflected the culture of origin. If I had to suggest a change, then it would be to appear more relaxed. I liked the gestures and thought they are well timed.
Good luck, Rick
kate Jackson ......... Contmeporary Abstract Artist / California
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Hi Behzad,
Your show is very funny I thnk it will be well received here. How long have you been producing and directing? Well love what your doing and hope to see more.
hope to talk to you soon.Take care,Kate
ReplyDeleteMandy Weston........ Actor, Voice Artist /London
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Hi
Thanks for contacting me. I have watched your stories and have the following comments;
1. If it were a show in the UK or the US, for example, this show would fit in to the genre of 'stand-up' comedy, with the funny stories being told by a comedian standing in front of a microphone and an audience. I don't think it works well with the actor sitting down. However, if you prefer him to be sitting, then the camera should be close-up so we see his head and shoulders only and he should possibly be sitting in an armchair in a 'cosy' way. The ascetic of the set would be improved with some colour, in my opinion, also maybe some canned laughter - which is an editing issue.
2. The stories are somewhat long. Although the actor's command of English is excellent, there are several translation mistakes which makes the stories less funny - the comedy is lost in translation and the punchlines are therefore flat. The speech is all a bit rushed also.
3. The voices of the other characters in the stories need to be given space within the dialogue so that it is clear who is talking - they need clear, individual voices.
4. I like the physical moments - the child tugging the father's jumper - more of that movement would bring it to life.
5. Think it's a good idea and worth developing.
Have attached some links of comedians performing similar material which you may or may not have seen, but could be useful references. Dave Allen and Ronnie Corbett are from an earlier period but were brilliant story-tellers and part of British comedy heritage.
Hope this helps and good luck with your work.
Best wishes,
Mandy Weston
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cT-BQLX6nU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2s-ULgJuTI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxQrp0VQlCI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxQhLZ5bMyQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_NrIDo66jc
Rob Weinstein .......Comedian/Screenwriter / Boston
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Hi Behzad,
The videos are technically outstanding and you have a very well defined comedy character. I enjoyed what I saw very much--clean comedy with a strong element of acting is my favorite.
I think American comedy tends to be more rapid paced punchline-wise (probably to match our extremely hyper-culture), but that, and perhaps the topics you discuss, would be the only adjustments you might want to make if you worked for a general audience here.
I would watch Bill Cosby videos.He is the best American at telling clean, comedy stories.
To appeal to the West you will need topics the West can understand, and certainly more punchlines would help, but I think you have a unique character and stage presence and those count a lot.
Also, if family comedy is what you want to do--do it! Sometimes getting a lot of opinions is bad, because it just brings out the negatives and that can hurt our confidence.
Best Regards,Rob
Jayem Lane .......Field Market Mgmt,Production Coordinator/ Boston
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Hello Behzad! I watched each one of your videos and i think you have great acting skills - very clever - excellent expression/stage presence..i understand that these videos are for a TV show, but the demonstrative style seems to come from/be suited for stage ... do you act for film/have demo reel ? If you are asking for feedback, i would recommend you/your videos for character roles, as i believe you would have much success as a character actor (great look/presence/expression)...
your comedy is definitely family friendly and would reach a wide demographic as such ...
hope this helps! best of luck, warmly, jayem
David Lee .......Actor
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well am no expert but here goes
Header board good and intro style/presentation fine
analytically you need to look at the stats on the you tube vids and comments but give it a while say 2000 clicks/hits each
humour gentle and comfortable
but suggest you approach a few 'heavies' on Linkedin
yes,They are fair comments
good luck ,Dave
ReplyDeleteMiranda Gilly .......Model / Oregon
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You need to look more alive on camera!
Ireca Sims ........Poet / Pennsylvania
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I enjoyed watching your video on youtube.
Keep up the good work. It was very funny.
Perry Kurtz ......Comedian/ California
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You need to be miked. You speak well. But, it is hard to discern your words with the room's echo. Your expressions are great. You should take it to a lie stage and work it out there. Check out my stuff at perrykurtz on here
I don't agree with any of the comments here. Just get up on stage and do it.
Steve Bluestein...... playwright/comedian /Los Angeles
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The style of the comedy is very "old school" for American taste. It appears to be a performance instead of a conversation between the comedian and the audience. Story telling is not stand up, it's more a theater piece.
That is my initial feeling.sb
Tere Joyce .......Stand-Up Comedian /Radio Show Host/ United States
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I watched your videos and found them to be very entertaining. The "actor" is it you? Excellent story teller. I like the black background, and the contrast of casual clothing worn "love the socks" during the stories.
My advice to you in terms of American Audiences is that they have a short attention span, and with comedy expect a punchline or laugh in the first 30 seconds or less. I would suggest punching it up a bit with more jokes through out the story. If you do take a longer time before the laugh, then the pay off needs to be "big".
The actor is very animated which I like, and likeable. Keep up the good work. We need to see more performances like this over here, so that we become more educated about Iranian culture.
Thank you for sharing, Tere Joyce
ReplyDeleteMansoor Shams ........Art director /Canada
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Dear Behzad,
I could manage to watch a couple of your shows, prior to define them as series of work, which of course has a good sense of humor, I couldn't categorize them of:
Who's the target audiences? If is general what about the overall story telling theme?
regardless of your nice acting, probably lack of consistent subject matter is the major weakness & touching some dramatic taste to your scene setting could have a better impact. although I'm sure your own creativity is the best source of improvement. hope my opinion would assist,
ba eraadat,Mansoor
Brad Goodchild .....freelance storyboard /Tennessee
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Pretty funny, gestures expressions delightful
Good stuff
Rodney Jones ......TNM Media Corp /Missouri
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i think its great .. funny and witty.. but not over the top... i like how you lead with a story line... and your delivery is uncannie... i love it... i will have to find a way for us to work together on sound future projects..
thank you for the chance to watch your youtube shows ... they are great...
you have a unique style that everyone is not quite ready for ,.. they may not understand your delivery... that's what makes it good...
your not the same old standard stand up comic .. yo have a style that children and adults can follow with out the need to get obscene. many companies would like it because they can sell you to a more broad audience.
just stay the course and you will get were you are trying to go.
Gabrielle Scharnitzky .........Actress /London
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Dear Behzad
first of all I honor all your efforts to put this show together. I love this idea of you sitting on this chair and developing this world in front of your audience.
As an acting coach I would recommend that you slow down a bit, giving the images you develop a bit more breath so that I as the spectator can see what you describe. Permit yourself to breath more. The reward will be that the spectator is drawn more into your stories rather than staying out of it, looking at you, listening.
Don´t bother with the comments. Just slow down. Feel into it, live the images you present and then the rhythm will take care of itself.
Hope this helps. All the best, Gabrielle
Raja Choudhury ......Film Digital Design /US
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I liked it. Nice One man theatre show type presentation and funny stories. Reminded me of New York theatre in the 80's and 90's.
The presenter was not strong enough to hold it together for the full duration and came across a Iittle more gay and efeminate than the family man he is presenting - that is not a bad thing but you should be aware of it.
Not sure of your audience for this and the Web seems like the best route forward. How to monetize - I have no idea - perhaps make a controversial doc about Iranian life using this style and put it up for festivals...
Using irony to entertain is always risky because it assumes either a high level of intelligence from the audience or familiarity with the subject matter and therefore and inside on the black humor. Only Iranians and other people from West Asia will understand the rich uncle and other metaphors. The crossover appeal to non-Iranian/West Asians will be difficult unless you do something like Sasha Cohen. The style of storytelling is a little dated - very popular in the 80's and 90's in New York and appeals to a sophisticated urban audience who gets the metaphors. You should do it in Farsi and Arabic perhaps or dub it. A faster style with more punchiness to the key phrases from someone who has experience of one man shows or comedy stand up will do better. We need to empathize with the story teller. The accent is West Asian - nothing you can do about it and would be funnier in Persian or Arabic or to a Iranian American audience who get the metaphors. Not enough irony or self effacing quality. See Louis CK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA (stand up)
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj_4vl_H-SI
to see how to combine documentary style with stand up - his show Louie is classic.
Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteMichael J Lasky ......Consultant,founder(C2M Services)/ Oregon
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Hello Behzad. My opinion, for what it is worth, is primarily focused upon the US television market as this is where my expertise is rooted. You have talent, but your story telling style for the core, young demographic in the US is a tough sell.
Youth today is unfortunately a sound byte mentality. They have no patience for long plots it seems. I could be wrong, but I too am long winded and disappointed with the attention deficit with USA youth.My opinion.
I do wish you well!
ReplyDeleteRev Dr DK Gemini ......MetroSpiritual Satirist (Church of Creative Conception) /Seattle
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Your energy and facial expressions are good. The transitions at times are not clear, I feel they need to be more precise, more defined. Maybe pause in between each character.
The story is funny. Just keep practicing.(I like the all black background). I love your personality. It is very original.
ReplyDeleteTiffany Rae Reid ..... Talk Show Radio Host and Multiracial Identity Expert /Philadelphia
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So I watched the first two videos.
Without knowing your intent or the type of feedback you are looking for I can tell that I enjoyed the first one more than the second.
Also, you are very animated and I think I'd prefer to see you standing up and moving around instead of stuck in a chair.
In response to the comments you have received so far:
I could understand you perfectly. I am not used to hearing your accent all day every day but I could understand every word, inflection and emotion you were conveying.
I am not sure what this even means(severe cultural barrier). If someone said this to you I would think that that person hasn't been exposed to anything other than what they are watching on Western TV.
Storytelling is an art in and of itself. What appeals to one person, group or audience may not necessarily appeal to another. Someone will appreciate and like what you are doing. If we continue to compare everything to Western style, then there would be no differences. Everything would be the same and everything would be boring...Oh wait...that's the first 100 years of American History....get my point!!
4- This (The acting is unnatural and too animated )is just one opinion...Has this person seen a Twilight movie? Whatever their opinion is, your acting ability, and, more importantly, storytelling ability, will continue to get better in presentation as you get more comfortable with what feels good for you.
Hope this helps
Vinny Stefanelli ......Musician / Media Producer /U.S.A
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Wonderful… the (almost) lost art of Story telling !
Bil Benden........ Stand up /Ohio/Akron
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Hi Behzad, I very much enjoyed your set. I also am a story teller and use my wife's and kids voices in my show. Keep up the good work and I hope to see you on the road.........
Your friend Bil
ReplyDeleteKlaus Krabbe ......Bonnier Publications / Denmark
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Hello Behzad
I guess it's okay entertaining although its' not my kind of entertainment. It's not offensive in any way I can see.
I wish you all the best with what I guess is the English version of the original episodes.
Regard /Krabbe
Tanuja Poria .......Actress, singer& dancer /Australia
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Hi Behzad,
I am delighted to hear from you.
I think you are very talented and have a unique personality .I liked your work very much.
I disagree with what comments people have commented .I have been acting for 12yrs and
think that your work is unique and your accent is understandable and acting natural.
You would be very good for character.
Best wishes / Tanu
Ali Jafri ......Chief Operating Officer/Pakistan
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Walaikum Salam
Nice work. It is good.
My comment for improvement, work on timing and pauses. Review this video as an example
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38NZAqEE88M&feature=fvst
With regards to comment this is my response.
- Cultural barriers can be overcome either by perfecting the translation, one word used in another language may have the correct translation but the overall generic slang or suitability may be different.
- This person is referring to styles of comedians that he/she sees in western shows, an example is comedy by russel peters.
- Accent doesn't really matter. In-fact people like hearing other accents as long as it is understandable.
- This refers to timing. If small tweaks are made during performance than overall it would look good.
Best Regards,Ali
ReplyDeleteAndrei Iordache ........ /Actor/Singer/Writer /Romania
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Hi Behzad Farahat
First of all, I want to tell you that I love the Iranian culture, not just because is the oldest from the world, but because I have two romanian friends originaly from Iran. Second, but not at least, those shows are incredible. Keep original, and be yours!
Sincerely, Andrei Iordache
Andi Barnes ..........Pharmaceutical Assistant /U.S
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Yes, I laughed a lot and thought they were great! Only you need the mic to be on you as the quality was a bit poor. but well done you! I love comedy!
Merry Christmas! Andi.
Shaun Nac...... Actor at Sag-Aftra / California
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I have been to Iran before and i know u will improve as time goes by but i felt bored most of the time and did not laugh much but do keep it up and as time goes by i your jokes will improve and be able to make me laugh out of my chair.....
please do not take me the wrong way as i am pretty blunt i always say it from the truthness of my heart flat out straight.take care and have an awesome day
Hans Hartman........Filmmaker - Producer/U.S
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I know that there are many people who would think this is very funny. And for someone who is living in Iran and trying comedy for an English Speaking (mostly American) audience, you are doing a very good job of reaching across a very wide cultural gap. I will make a couple observations:
The comedian does seem to come across as somewhat feminine in his speech pattern. Not that this would keep him from being funny, just an observation.
But, the comedic timing is very good. If he were to come to the US and study comedy with a troupe, I am sure he would learn some of the very complicated aspects of "AmericanComedy".
Hans
Hank Isaac.......Writer/Director / Seattle
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I watched "Banana" and "On the Subway."
I can only speak from my point of view, not the entirety of the "western world." :-)
First, I have to say that even though I can't read the titles, non-western writing is so incredibly beautiful. I wish ours possessed that aesthetic.
Okay, the content. In each segment, we have essentially one man telling a story. My instinct tells me that, for westerners, the stories are somewhat flat. We tend to be attracted to extremes. Strange occurrences. Outrageous events. At least those sorts of things in this sort of format.
It was hard to tell if the stories were supposed to be funny. It would be interesting to hear from a worldwide population. I suspect there will be difficulty translating your culture to ours. What we find funny, you may find serious or commonplace. What we find serious or boring, you may find laughable.
These differences are what make the the variety of cultures on the planet so interesting.
The question remains, though: Will you be offended if we laugh at the serious parts and frown at the funny ones.
Much success! Hank
Maria Laskar ......Director ,Producer /Quebec, Canada
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Hello Behzad,
I enjoyed watching your little episodes....you are a delight to watch, simple and well animated....stories are short and interesting and funny...thanks and good luck !
Donald L. Vasicek .......The Zen of Writing/Filmmaking/Consulting / Denver
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Dear Behzad Farahat,
Thank you for sharing your footage with me. It was humorous. It told a story with a theme, a beginning, middle and an end. It was most entertaining.
Best Regards,
Mark Heartford ......Actor Film,Tv,Commericals, Theatre /UK
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Hi Behzad
Well I looked at all of them, and I think most would be OK but a view ideas you might like to think about,
When I first saw them I thought of Jackanory ( a UK Tv show back in the 70 to 90 ) of telling story with actors like Kenneth Williams (which if you can have a look at)
Now on a tech point its better to have closes up at certain point (normal at the high points of the story) for example the Veggie story when taking hair out of mouth.
and a black background all the time is OK but I would have preferred to see a pictures as the story was told for example the bowl of fruit and bananas etc,
and you need to tell the story a bit slower as I did lose some of it and on the stennergraph story its 9 months not 10 but you knew that any way
and you have many diffrent characters in the storys try a diffrent voice for each one
but apart I found them very funny a different culture which i admit i dont know much about
so please keep going
just some ideas if you can look at kenneth williams in jackanory it was a BBc childrens story telling show back in the 70,80's thats I think is what you need to aim for and dived up your storys into what universal, kids and adult as some might be good for a more adult audience,
all the best /mark
Nicholas Searles .....Actor at SAG/AFTRA /New York
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Tell ya what; you are good! I can see this as a stand up routine. You have big movements which go well on stage. Usually it doesn't work on camera but I does here. If you are interacting with others, in a skit; say. you'd have to tone it down. And the only real downside is the sound quality. But you did good.
Nick
Leroya Sanford ........Comedienne - Actress
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Hi Behzad,
I like your originality. Keep it up!!
Leroya
Shlomoh Sherman .....retired actor/comic /Akron,Ohio
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Hello Behzad
My fiancee and I watched your vignettes on youtube.
You are a very good raconteur. I feel that maybe an Iranian audience might find the humor more engrossing. i thought the pieces were well executed.
Your style is endearing. Keep up the good work.
Shlomoh/PS: Thank you for asking my opinions.
Kelechi Jaavaid .......Comedian / Minneapolis
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I like your enegry, they are old school kind of video making, but good I would try and shoot with people in the community- use real life issues to make comedy.
Happy holidays and have a super year let me know if I can be any kind of service to you again!
ReplyDeleteNicole Kian-Sadighi ........Founder and CEO at Persepolis Pictures / L.A
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Hi Behzad,
Thank you for sending your links. I watched them each.
Firstly congratulations on creating these on your own. It does have potential but I do have a couple of notes for you, which I hope would be helpful to you.
1 - At times the sound is not quite clear so we lose some of the punchlines in the sketch, which is a shame because you gone to so much trouble to write them.
2 - If you want to keep it in this format of just you sitting in a chair and telling stories, I think on its own, this kind of thing would be more suited to the stage theater rather than television. I don't see a market for it in television outside of Iran. Perhaps even at comedy shows as a stand up comedy sketch. A lot of comedians, in fact almost all of them, start their careers doing stand up comedy first.
3 - If you want to pursue the television route then you should consider doing a sketch with other actors and turning it into an actual scene.
4 - Also when you mention outside of Iran, well you are talking about the rest of world which consists of many other countries and cultures. And they each have there own sense of humour. Now I assume that because your sketch is in English then we can eliminate non english speaking countries. So we are left with USA, UK and Australia. Each of them have different types of humour in their culture. What an Australian finds funny an American may not! So you should first establish who your market is and then forward perfecting your jokes based on those.
Good Luck and all the best, Nicole
ReplyDeleteRobert W. Smith .........Actor, AEA, SAG-AFTRA / New York
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Watched Banana and the sound is in need of work. Presently it makes it difficult to understand what is being said. The physicality of the short is great.
ReplyDeleteRitch Shydner .........Independent Writing and Editing Professional /L.A
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Behzad, I just now saw your videos. You're a very energetic, likeable and passionate performer, but it is tough to assess any stand-up performance without an audience. I know that's the toughest thing to do these days, but you need to get in front of people. Good luck and let me know how it goes. Ritch
ReplyDeleteBryan Paccagnella ........Partner / Creative Development at Big3 Video Agency
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Hello Behzad -
I took a look at some of your videos - they are very touching and full of energy, along Bill Cosby lines. I think they would work well as a live show, but video is a visual medium, so the more visually engaging your video is, the better. Otherwise, people tune out.
I guess a good question to ask would be - what do you plan on doing with these videos? Where do you want to take this?
Steven Sachs ..........Professor Valley College / L.A
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Behzad, I took a look at some of your videos. They are funny and nice. Not too over-the-top. Low-impact, but that is a very good kind of comedy.
They remind me of how the comedian Bill Cosby's work, especially in his earlier, most famous years. Clean, simple life stories that everyone liked.
I think one of the best aspects of your work is that it lacks swearing, scatology, and ugliness. Although many adults (including myself, from time to time) like the more severe comedy, there is always a place for your type.
That's my reaction, my friend. . . . Steve Sachs
ReplyDeleteD. Cameron ........Comedian at D. Cameron Comedy
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Hi Behzad.I just finished watching your shows. They are all pretty good, but the ones that I really like are "Banana", "Subway", and "Veggie Things'.
Thanks for sharing. D.
ReplyDeleteDanny Dechi ............Actor, Comedian at Screen Actors Guild-AFTRA
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Hi Behzad,
First thing: Your titles for Subway & Veggies are incorrect, and need to be switched to the corresponding videos.
Your acting, expressions, and story telling are very good. The stories are interesting and humorous, but not hilarious. To be in a comedy show, your act needs more funny (which I know I'm being a bit vague), but would work in a short play.
I hope this helps. Good luck! Danny Dechi http://www.DannyDechi.com
ReplyDeleteJohn Kreng ......Stunt Coordinator, Fight Choreographer /Los Angeles Area
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Behzad, I think the performance was good but you really lacked any type of production value. There was no camera changes, close ups on importnat moments to emphasize importantance of that moment, etc. The background should be more colorful but not overpowering to take away from the performer.
I do not know what you want to do with it so I really do not know what to really say. I highly suggest you read books on camera angles, editing, and set design. That should be a good start.
I wish you the best of luck on your project.
Sincerely, John
ReplyDeleteNicholas Anthony Ucci......... IT/Systems/Engineer/Sales/Real Estate/Mortgage/Construction Professional, / California
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completely ridiculous, sorry. :)
ReplyDeleteLeslie Brown ............ Production Coordinator/Casting Director
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Hello Behzad,
Thank you for sharing your work. I don't think the American audience will respond to a memoirs type of video. It's too cerebral for our culture. We are a "show me" society. Don't "tell me".
Your sound quality is critical. It will shut doors more than you realize. Here is an article that explains why:
http://www.lightsfilmschool.com/articles/sound/index.html
"The importance of sound in filmmaking: Sound & sound editing
Sound is arguably on par with video as the most important element to be able to manipulate and control during production and post production. Too often filmmakers focus all of their attention on video footage and ignore the quality of their sound. Interestingly enough, audiences seem to be more annoyed by poor sound quality than by poor cinematography."
For some examples of physical comedy, with little to know dialog, refer to "The Amazing Adventures of Mr. Bean" or other work by Rowan Atkinson. He is British, but has a wide acceptance in the US.
Sincerely, Leslie
ReplyDeletejijoe md nor ................Producer/Creative Director at inframe productions /
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Hi Behzad
.. Well after watch it.. its look clean even im not really not to get the message.. but true the. content and idea.. Here i say.. keep ot up and all the best my friend.. Keep in touch man.
ReplyDeleteOle Goethe ......Associate Professor / Creative Director / Producer / Story Developer /Norway
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Hi Behzad,
Thank you for sharing this video and it looks great :-)
Best, Ole
ReplyDeleteMelisa Hartsell ...........Leasing /Nashvil
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I enjoyed all of them, very creative and expressive.
ReplyDeleteLiz V. Kennedy ........ Independent Entertainment Professional / San Francisco
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Hello Behzad,
Thank you so much for sending me the links to your show and asking about my feedback. I have to say that the stories are really great and I love the way you tell them. And it is a bit distracting when you mime props.
My performance coach has always told us that if the prop is not there don't mime that it is unless you are doing mime. I hope this feedback helps. Take care, Liz
ReplyDeleteKevin Alderman .........Actor/Comedian/Entrepreneur
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good job.
ReplyDeleteMichelle Sheiman ......Management Consultant at Michelle Sheiman Consulting
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I wrote about your work for my column on Learnist.
http://learni.st/users/33677/boards/12491-filmmakers-you-ll-hear-about-in-2013-behzad-farahat
Later in the year, I'd like to interview you for a long-form article for http://www.reellifewithjane.com/author/mshyman/ If you'd like that, please send me your email contact info.
Michelle Shyman
Oussayma Canbarieh ......Owner at Symage Media /Canada
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Hello Behzad,
I had a look at your clips. I like the concept, it's original. The microphone could have been adjusted. Another suggestion is animations. It would have been interesting to have animations or words that pop out to emphasize your message. I hope this helps.
Regards, Oussayma
ReplyDeletePhilip Horváth ...........catalyst supporting new world leaders
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Behzad,
thank you for your message. Indeed a fun show, and I can tell how it would appeal to a wide TV family oriented market as a segment.
Unfortunately, I am not in the world of shopping shows, but if I happen to come across someone that would be beneficial for your project, I will make sure to let you know ;-)
smiles /philip
ReplyDeleteRick Allen ........ Director at A Squared Entertainment LLC
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Dear Behzad Farahat:
Very enjoyable and I liked the simplicity of your stage and presentation.
Refreshing.
Sincerely, Rick
Robin C. Adams ....... Producer / Co-founder, WILLiFEST
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Good performance, however it is imperative that you wear a small lavaliere mic or use a directional shotgun mic to record sound; sounds like this was recorded directly from the on-camera microphone.
Good Luck with your new project.
Dr. Letitia Wright, D.C. ......Funding Strategist, Entertainment/TV/Film, Corporate/Celebrity Branding, Media/BizMarketing /
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Its nice work!
What would you like to see happen with this?
Are you looking for more distribution?
Sam Sandora .......President at Sandora Productions. Inc. / Pittsburgh Area
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Hi Farahat,
Thanks for sharing your video links. They are quite entertaining. You have a very nice ability to tell a story and engage your audience!!
Keep up the good work! Sam
Stewart Huey .......Entrepreneur / Filmmaker
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Hello
Thank you for showing me this project.
I enjoyed the stories, but the audio quality made it difficult to fully enjoy. The the echo & the humming of machinery or fans or maybe it was the air conditioning, bothered me alot.
The Storytelling, was wonderful none the less.
John Rushton .....Director / Broadcaster at LIFE RADIO /London
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Hello Bahzad,
I liked your videos, you have a natural talent for them, and the subject is so real too, you can almost imagine it happening... :-)
If the sound wasn't so 'hollow' it would have been better, but it was never the less very good and I wouldn't mark it down because of that...
Kind regards.... John...
ReplyDeleteBill Freas ..... Film Industry Professional /Philadelphia
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Behzad,
Thanks for sharing your work with me! Great job - funny stuff here. Keep up the good work and best wishes for a prosperous 2013!
I'd be happy to give you some advice regarding your show. Since you have already shot a couple of episodes, you have a nice demo reel to pitch the show with. So I would continue to promote these episodes on your website, Facebook, YouTube, and other such sites.
Keep me updated on how things are going for you with the show. Best wishes to you and your family!
Kind regards, Bill
Hans Hartman ......Filmmaker - Producer, Director, Studio Head
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I know that there are many people who would think this is very funny. And for someone who is living in Iran and trying comedy for an English Speaking (mostly American) audience, you are doing a very good job of reaching across a very wide cultural gap. I will make a couple observations:
The comedian does seem to come across as somewhat feminine in his speech pattern. Not that this would keep him from being funny, just an observation.
But, the comedic timing is very good. If he were to come to the US and study comedy with a troupe, I am sure he would learn some of the very complicated aspects of "AmericanComedy".
Hans
James T. Surtees .......Owner & CEO, The Surtees Company, Inc. / California
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I found your two episodes to be quite entertaining. The monologist ( I assume yourself ) was quite good and the content both satirical and funny. The "banana" segment needs a sound remix to eliminate the echo and the sound, even on the second segment, needs to be of better quality.
Good luck.
ReplyDeleteBob Paff ........Radio show Baltimore, Maryland
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Your project sounds exciting and I wanted to personally reply! I have so many projects on my plate with the launch of my new book and speaking engagements all around the country. My plate was full months ago!
I do wish you the best and have no doubt this will help fulfill your dreams!
ReplyDeleteNicholas Searles .......Actor at SAG/AFTRA New York City
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Tell ya what; you are good! I can see this as a stand up routine. You have big movements which go well on stage. Usually it doesn't work on camera but I does here. If you are interacting with others, in a skit; say. you'd have to tone it down.
And the only real downside is the sound quality. But you did good.
ReplyDeleteDonald Shafer ...... Vice President at TrueAmericanBusiness.com, LLC
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Hello Behzad,
Thank you for reaching out to me with your message and your links. My wife and I laughed at "I Want a Banana". I think your short videos would be a hit in both the Arabic regions and beyond. We have had a number of Arabic/Islamic broadcasters ask us for content. Your videos would be excellent for mobile devices also. Your humor appears to be universal and could have a positive impact across many cultures.
Sincerely, Don
ReplyDeleteLen Grossi ........Experienced operating officer, strategist, and advisor specializing in media
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Hi Behzad. Thanks for sharing these episodes. I believe he is very entertaining and very good. also looks good on screen. I am not sure however what the commercial application might be unless you start this out as webisodes and hope it connects with an audience and then broden the platform for him and the concept.
Best of luck
Best, Len
ReplyDeleteJoseph Maar ..........Vice President of Programming & Production/Executive Producer at NESN
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Shukran- I enjoyed very much your video. Unfortunately it does not fit the format nor genre of what we broadcast on my channel however I would like to encourage you that it is quite good and wish you the best of luck.
Salaam, Joseph
ReplyDeleteMarco Spagnoli ......Journalist, Movie Critic, Filmaker, Film & Television Festival Professiona l /Italy
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Dear Behzad Farahat
I just saw both videos and I enjoyed them.
What did I just saw? Some clips from an international release of your show?
I'd like to know more.
Thanks M.
ReplyDeleteBarry Katzmann ......Marketing Communications Manager/Writer/Editor/Producer
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Nice stuff, Begzad...thumbs up!
='.'=
ReplyDeleteNick Rihan ........Managing Director at Triple One Media / Sweden
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Hi Behzad,
I had a look at the show funny I liked it.
Don't get me wrong but if it was me I would include little more action like if he is standing but well it is just my point. but anyway i really like the show. Best Regards, Nick
ReplyDeleteThomas Edward Harkins ...... Mobile Marketing Consultant at Mobile Market Creator Inc./ Brooklyn, New York
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Dear Behzad,
I watched the samples of your program with great interest and they definitely held my attention. My initial thoughts - aside from thinking "I can't read the credits because I ONLY read/write/speak in English!" were that the clips were very reminiscent of live theater; you employ a great deal of physical movement - or "non-verbal communication" in these sketches. Not only does this approach have a great deal in common with live theater, it also reminds me of some of our classic stand-up comedians here in the states - particularly Richard Pryor and George Carlin, whose works featured many "bits" wherein they acted out different characters and conversations.
In Marshall McLuhan's terms, the programming in these samples is very "cool" - in the McLuhan sense that the audience is required to be actively engaged in the meaning-making process. With one actor/host doing all of the improvisation against a black background and sitting in a black chair, there is a virtual "tabula rasa" for the audience members to fill in: the scenery, what the characters really look like, etc.. I think it is a very clever approach. I am not sure who, what or where your intended audience lies - or what the nature of that audience's tastes tend toward - so I can only offer my own reactions. I think it is very clever, engaging, physical and theatrical humor.
Kind Regards,
Tom Harkins